CDC issues warning about Gonorrhea Lecthym!

[bif]

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.  This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.  The disease is called Gonorrhea Lecthym (Pronounced "Gonna Re-elect Him").  Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past 4 years, and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves.
 
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea lecthim include: Antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idée fixe; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing thinking.
 
This epidemic is out of control. MMWR reports it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans.  Excessive exposure to trailer parks, country gospel music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors.
 
New CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's will.
 
Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief, but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward.  Godlessness apparently has its rewards, too.

[nickinSTL]

1. Bwwahaahaa

I love the part about Archbishop Burke in particular! :evilgrin: