Is this a good place to stand?

[short bus president]

Am I in anyone's way? Blocking anyone's light?

I think this is a good place to stand. And maybe have a lean.

Oh, yeah. A cromulent lean.

[redqueen]

1. Oh stop being such a kissass...

Stand where you want to stand!

[short bus president]

2. Stand in the place where you live?

:P

Sorry. Had to. Horrible song flashbacks are a specialty. Plus it makes me think of that hilarious show with dude... erm.. what's his name guy.

[redqueen]

4. What show was that?

Damn, now the song's in my head.

[short bus president]

7. Chris Elliot

I forget the show's name. It was a one-season wonder, I think. But I loved it.

[Left Is Write]

26. Appropriately titled "Get A Life."

I believe it ran two seasons.

[DS1]

3. Yes, that will do nicely, you feeble-minded minion

[short bus president]

5. Dude.

I am NOT changing that guy's diaper!

[JimmyJazz]

17. Hey - for someone who was glad to be left off of last nights list

of usual suspects, you sure have a way of making an appearance! :P

[donheld]

6. I'm sorry this is not a

[short bus president]

8. But... the sign says...

now I'm all confused. I need more wine. Beer. Winebeer.

[redqueen]

10. Mmmmm... wine...

I think I know where I'm stopping on the way home.

I found a nice Chilean cab called Casillero del Diablo. And I need more. :)

[short bus president]

14. Oh, yeah - I've had that before.

Quite tasty. I had the Carolina specialty this afternoon - sweet scuppernong wine. Now I've moved on to Negra Modelo, in the post-dinner portion of my liver-pickling festivities.

[Lady Effingbroke]

88. Negra Modelo - an excellent choice.

Now I'm thirsty, dammit - not like I wasn't already!

*opens first Dos XX*

What the hell - it's finals week!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

9. A little to the left. I'm leaning here.

[short bus president]

18. Then I shall

lean on you, and it'll be like you're getting a big hug from me AND the wall.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

19. Maybe we can sing the old Carl Withers "Lean on Me?"

[short bus president]

58. You feel free.

I'll be busy a-leanin'.

;-)

[yvr girl]

11. It's very scavery to lean

Bad posture too.

[short bus president]

20. Criticize, criticize, criticize!

Most ladies love me for my mighty hump.

[yvr girl]

22. I love and adore you, of course

I'm just trying to change you.

[JimmyJazz]

28. Why in the world would you try to change any man, let alone SBP?

I'm just wondering!

[yvr girl]

30. Masochist?

Besides, SBP just makes all the other 'dudes' look less...cromulent in comparison. DU has a group for them. I've lurked in their group -the angst is terrible to behold.

[JimmyJazz]

31. So you are saying SBP is the most cromulent dude on these

boards and yet you still want to change him? Mmmmm. Well, I personally haven't seen anything about him I would like to change.

[short bus president]

32. Except my

taste in dog toys, right dear? ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

33. Dog toys - marital aid - who can tell the difference, darling?

Is passing that test requisite for anything - btw?

[short bus president]

36. Only for spending

"alone time" with my fuzzy wee Stangle. Gotta protect the children from potential preverts. ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

38. I think the test said that you could trust me alone with your

Stangle - really it did! So can I? Be alone with your Stangle that is? :P

[short bus president]

40. I guess so.

I mean... I'd really like to be there, too, but you know, maybe if I'm having a nap or something. ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

43. That would be rather fun, now wouldn't it! I'm sure Stangle

wouldn't mind one little bit if I played with him while you were sleeping! After all, what else would he being doing except perhaps taking a nap with you :P

[short bus president]

44. Heh.

If he's not locked up while I'm alseep, he'll wreak havoc. ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

45. Oh c'mon - show me! You know I have to have my daily fix of

Stangle or I get really depressed! Pretty please - show me :loveya:

[short bus president]

46. Here's yer fix, sweet:

Careful with him - he can get bitey when he's excited.

[JimmyJazz]

48. so can I! BTW - that is the cutest Stangle I have ever seen!

I just want to kiss his little schmoopie face all over!

:loveya: babe!

[short bus president]

51. Oh, trust me - he'd return the kisses tenfold.

This dog is not a shy kisser. But he is a bit of an ear-nibbler, and lord jibbity help you if he gets it in him to clean yer ear. I swear that tongue goes in one side and comes out the other.

[JimmyJazz]

52. Oooooooh - I haven't had an eargasm in forever! I can't wait

to see him in action!

[yvr girl]

34. I was just trying to make the other dudes look more cromulent

It was evil and wrong of me. I must admit, I have a thing for guys who are a little scavery.

Short Bus, please forgive me.

JimmyJazz - you have made me see the error of my ways. Am I to be punished and forgiven, or voted off the island?

[short bus president]

39. If there's truly any punishment between you two,

I'll set up the pay-per-view deal. My cut is 33%, and I get to play "fight doctor" (or just plain "doctor," at my sole discretion).

[yvr girl]

41. You can work out the details with my agent, GOPisEvil

[JimmyJazz]

50. Sorry SBP, but I won't be punishing anyone in front of you.

[yvr girl]

54. How bad is this punishment that there can be no witnesses

I'm truly frightened now.

Can I just promise to be good, and the four of us can play cards or something?

[JimmyJazz]

57. I'm not much of a card player myself - a little blackjack

now and again, but that's about it.

[yvr girl]

59. I played blackjack with my stuffed animals when I was a kid

Let's just get liquored up and see how silly we can get.

[JimmyJazz]

61. Who is this "we" you have in mind?

[yvr girl]

62. You, SBP, Me and my Agent

[JimmyJazz]

63. I'm really more of a one on one kinda girl - besides, your

agent scares me - he's always got that damned donkey following him around.

[yvr girl]

65. What can be wrong with a little harmless drinking

He'll leave the donkey in Texas

[JimmyJazz]

73. No drinking is ever harmless in the wonderful world of SBP

[yvr girl]

78. How very intriguing

Will we find ourselves making crank calls? Doing other scavery things?

[lumberingbear]

12. OMG!!!

I didn't know one person could cast such a gigantic shadow!

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

[short bus president]

25. did you never see 'Mr. Big'

on Rocky and Bullwinkle? It's all about where you place the spotlight...

[JimmyJazz]

13. Yes, you're blocking my light - could you move your head please -

I'm trying to read.

[short bus president]

15. You sayin' I have a big head?

How're ya gonna be knockin' my noggin'?

Erm... you WERE talking about me noggin', right? :evilgrin:

[JimmyJazz]

16. maybe

:P

[short bus president]

21. 'Cuz if yer talkin' about

the bathroom in the boat, it's friggin' HUGE for a boat bathroom.

[JimmyJazz]

23. Forget about your head dear - I do so much better when we are

discussing your Stangle. :P

[short bus president]

24. Speaking of my Stangle...

How turned on would you be if I told you he pees a little every time he gets really excited? ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

27. Don't they all do that? Or am I missing something?

Oh and in an effort to hijack this incredibly inane thread you have posted, can I tell you that I have a craving for a hoagie from this little shop called Casapulla's? Just in case you were wondering.

:P

[short bus president]

29. Is it in Tucson?

And what the hell kind of Spanglish is that, anyway? "House of Pullas?" Sounds more like a porno store than a hoagie joint, to me. :P

[JimmyJazz]

35. No, it's not in Tuscon - it's in Wilmington (not NC)

which is really nothing more than a splinter city of Philadelphia! I want an Italian: Salami, genoa, capacola, provolone cheese, oregano, oil, peppers, (no onions) and pickles served on an Amorosa's roll - YUMMY.

[short bus president]

42. Do I hafta have mine

served on one of these "Amorosa's rolls?" Are there no other buns available that might hold this meaty goodness you describe?

[JimmyJazz]

47. I thought you'd never ask! Of course there are other types of

buns if the traditional roll from Philadelphia does not appeal to you. I do know of some buns that are no carb - if you are into that sort of diet.

[short bus president]

49. Don't tell anyone

I think Drs. Atkins and SouthBeach are quacks. And at least one of them's a dead duck quack. Nevertheless, there ARE merits to limiting ones carb intake. I shall have to study these alternative buns you describe. Closely. But almost anything has to be better than wrapping a sammich in lettuce. What kind of wrong-headedness is that?

[JimmyJazz]

55. I think wrapping a sammich in lettuce is horrid! You shouldn't

even be allowed to call it a sammich after that. No - the buns I have in mind are not crispy - they are made by a special company. I think the name is Precor, but don't quote me on that - and I think you might like them even better than Amorosa's.

[frictionlessO]

56. I have no idea what the fuck a stangle is but that just got a laughing

coughing nearly fainting fit out of me!!

Didnt I see you post a cromulent site of epic proportions once? or er something to that effect...

and ya know ShortBus I like you, I really like you..oh yes I do, but not in a top or bottom kinda way, but maybe more in a lets play dress up kinda way... ya know what I mean (and I mean that in a very Leave it to "Beaver" kinda way)...




edited: because I suck (but I get paid for it!)

[JimmyJazz]

60. I showed him what you posted to me earlier today!

:hi: oh and there is a picture of his Stangle on this thread in case you were wondering!

on edit: We are going to start charging you an entertainment fee!

[frictionlessO]

66. I saw the Stangle and now I just want to Stangle nap him and

cuddle, and pet, and feed, and kiss, and squeeze him... A more lovely Stangle never have I seen!!

My gods that is a precious Stangle!

I sorta got that feeling you told him, he actually posted on my Pathetica thread! Thought I was cute when I blushed but he refused to answer my question that I put forthrightly and squarely between his legs!!

You though, you might need a bit of punishment for giving my not so secret secret away...

btw this thread is the kind of thread I was talking about!

[short bus president]

67. I understand we're now discussing punishments for Miss Jimmy...

:evilgrin:

I'll be gentle, spheanie, I promise.

:D

[JimmyJazz]

72. Buttfez, I'm not really for certain here, but I think he means for

him to punish me, not you. Butt - if I'm wrong, you'll be the first to know.

[short bus president]

74. Erm...

Can I at least watch?

:P

[frictionlessO]

80. actually I think we all need to be punished, maybe in a nice

opium styled den with lots of soft things laying around... and some hard ones... and stuff and other stuff and maybe if were all really naughty some seriously stuffy stuff!!

HAH! now who's blushin'

[JimmyJazz]

82. Mmmmmm - not Short Bus that's for sure - you just described his

dream vacation!

[JimmyJazz]

69. You can jump in any time you want! But, I'll have you know I don't

share SBP's Stangle with anyone. You didn't really answer his question either - btw. And as for your secret - you posted it to my thread of over 100 replies - trust me, that's not a way to have a secret.

:hi:

[short bus president]

64. Are you blushing yet?

Need some help? I can have my Stangle leer at you suggestively:

[frictionlessO]

68. What is this blushing you keep going on about?? Seriously unless

I got drunk and posted pics of me in some rather fine panties, I dont and wouldnt know when I have blushed at you near you or around you in general... I only blush in panty pics!

Thank you for shareing the Stangle, Im in love with the Stangle now... I need Stangle!

I needs a doggy woggy so badly!! My male maternal instincts are on overdrive these days.

[JimmyJazz]

70. Um - and where were these pics posted? Just out of curiosity -

you know what I'm saying?

[frictionlessO]

76. well they would've been posted at LU if I had had the chance!!

however there were a few other places Ive posted them... however I was in a mood that one could easily equate with drunken debauchery only I wasnt drunk and I only debauched myself...

but I think pliweb.com has some of me.. see if you can find me!!



:P :9 :+ :spank: thank ya I needed that!

[JimmyJazz]

79. That's the third time today that you have spanked me! My ass

is now officially sore! Jeez - you might think I was into that sort of thing or something.

[frictionlessO]

86. well that does not remain to be seen, however I shall now heal

thine ass, with the frumpity scrumptiousness known as the cheek to cheek method... jaw cheeks to your...well.. ya know what I mean?

[JimmyJazz]

90. Well, while I certainly appreciate the offer, surely you know that this

ass belongs to another...you said so much yourself this afternoon. :P

[frictionlessO]

91. I most certainly did not!! That was obviously one of the many

other personalities that inhabit this body.!!

yer afriad of the big man/girl that is fric!! spank yerself and know no pennance, spank yerself and fear no guilt, spank yerself and... oh okay...yeah you were right, uhmm sorry. righty ho there mate? everything good?

okay..

*blush*

sorry!

[short bus president]

92. Well NOW you're just lookin' downright adorable!

No worries, fric. We're all friends here. Especially when you're blushing like that. I just wanna pinch your cheeks and Jewish grandmother you 'til you schvtiz!

[JimmyJazz]

94. Really does kinda make you wish you knew what he'd look like

in some lacy panties, no?

[frictionlessO]

97. I like black lace french cuts..

try stringme as a search, I really did post some there at pliweb a long time ago... not good ones though as I was feeling like a trashy fric at the time.

[JimmyJazz]

99. how will I know which one is you?

Better yet, how will anyone else who reads this post know which one is you. :P

[frictionlessO]

105. you stick that tongue out quite often, Ive noticed!! thats good!

uhmm well there was that massive hint I gave you a bit ago! truthfully Im okay with people knowing that anyway... couldnt do much worse to me than has been done in the past anyway.

Seriously being a wannabe TG pacifist with the body of some Mt. man and the mind of a deranged woman has its drawbacks..

glad that you were so interested in seeing them though. makes me happy!:9

[frictionlessO]

98. I'd let you pinch my cheeks and even be my jewish grandmother

if you let me have the Stangle!!

Ill get my own though, and then we can just role play for free!! Howzat?

I like my friends...

[short bus president]

100. Excellent!

And the puppies can entertain themselves, or else Miss Jimmy can play with 'em, provided she re-takes and passes that pet safety test...

[frictionlessO]

106. oh she will thats her punishment! Im already creatively visualizing

what she looks like when she is studying and that is quite a turn on in of itself! Never mind the actual test!

[JimmyJazz]

104. Here's the test I failed - see if you do any better

and maybe he'll let you play with his Stangle.

http://dogtoyormaritalaid.com/

[frictionlessO]

107. I swear I only missed one!! The very first one I thought was a

marital aid!!

Now I get Stanglefied!!!

YES!!!!

[JimmyJazz]

108. and now you are in on an inside joke!

A few more of those and you will no longer be considered a newbie.

[frictionlessO]

112. Ahhh now I know the secret of DU power!! Inside jokes!!

I am alas butt honored by the dog toy marital aide inside joke... and will proudly go forth and make dog toy marital aide jokes that no one butt inside jokers will understand. Butt inside... er.. nothing really just wanted to write "Butt inside"... I like it... it is most fitting..hmm, inside butt fitting, is better.

Okay I need to get strapped on and guilt trip myself for having a sugar rat!

[JimmyJazz]

93. Everything is fine. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same

page is all. HA HA HA HA HA HA - YOU BLUSHED! HEY - SBP - Fric blushed! :P

No, really. It's okay. :hi:

[frictionlessO]

95. I can only be at your whims and mercy, for I... I am the newbie!

Thus you must play with my feelings with gentle barbarism...

Hey are you my friends now??

hehehe
see we did all that stuff and nary a threat of a lockdown... this thread was good and wholesome and filled with the love and joy of middle aged (or smaller aged) exuberance!!

Gods fuckin damn damn... I love this place... I really do...

[short bus president]

96. This thread has gone unlocked for one simple reason.

No one brought up the "her-inal," or the womens urinal. It never really caught on, invention-wise. But apparently the mere mention of it can get a thread locked. That, and subway frottaging.

And yes - you are my friend. You are special to me!

:P

[JimmyJazz]

102. Whoa Buttfez - just how special? Is there something I should know

about? I mean really?

BTW - this really isn't a sex thread - it was a pleasant conversation about a sandwich and a dog - oh and one or two mild references to corporal punishment, but who's counting?

[frictionlessO]

103. and you SBP make me feel all juicy and free flowing when you

bring up urinals and friendship in the same post!!

Special is as special does, do you really Short Bus?... Ive noticed that several frottaging threads have gotten locked on other boards over the last few months as well... what gives web board lock out clamp down??

Frottaging and its perpetrators must be exposed... so we can recognize them by their tallywackers... female frottagers might be a lil more difficult to ID though..hmm..

[JimmyJazz]

101. Of course we are friends. We're nice to newbies! We're just a

bit nicer to each other is all.

I'm glad you like it here and I'm glad you like our posts - it's all in good silliness is all. Plus, when you have the balls to name your dog Stangle, you set yourself up for some good jokes!

[frictionlessO]

109. very very true... I must warn you however...

I eat friends...

sillyness is next to Godlike in my book, so naturally I found I believe to be two of the sillyest on this site.

and you asked for by being nice to a newb.

but I am highly appreciative as I will probably pass 300 posts by tomorrow thanks to this beautiful lovely thread here... I am forever in you debt!

[short bus president]

110. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I believe that means I get to collect a pound of flesh. I was outed earlier as a (half)Jewish Pornographer.

[JimmyJazz]

111. Um, darling, dearest, schmoopie - just a gentle reminder:

You outed your own damn self!

[short bus president]

113. That still counts as

"was outed." It's just ambiguously phrased. :P

[frictionlessO]

114. okay so how does this play into the previous post? Answer me

or be tormented by batwings, sticky scrotum lover!!

[short bus president]

115. I'll take the

scrotum torment for 11pm, Alex.

;-)

[frictionlessO]

116. ahh but locks protect you from torment here,

otherwise there would be some serious slap happy dangle berries to be picked!!

[short bus president]

71. Honey, that's just yer brainvagina.

Relax. A cromulent puppy can be found in most any animal shelter, and need not even be a young puppy. Just make sure you're ready to be a mommy first.

You'll want a lot of carpet cleaner, if yours is as excitable and baby-bladdered as my Stangle.

;-)

Now let's talk more about how Miss Jimmy should be punished. I forget exactly what the infraction was, but that's really beside the point, innit?

[JimmyJazz]

75. I think you might have scared him off with that one, dear.

:shrug:

[short bus president]

77. How?

Am I the ONLY man here in touch with my brainvagina?

:P

[yvr girl]

81. Perhaps you should hold a seminar

What would you call it...mmm so many possibilities.

[frictionlessO]

89. endless yvr endless possibilities... I must dream hard on this seminar

[frictionlessO]

84. no scary here, just slow typeing and slow draining sinks... now

wheres that paddle, my brainvagina is doing somersaults around my libido.!!

[frictionlessO]

83. yes. and yes and yes yes yes!!

How do I explain such things as fitting punishments without getting the thread locked down??

Such quandries will never cease here at DU...

Thus do I leave to what little imagination I have of said punishment the slightest echo of reality that can only be a fantasy of largely elusive proportions. Know what I'm sayin'?

[JimmyJazz]

85. Please don't get this thread locked - it's the only one I've posted

to this evening and I'd really miss it if it were gone!

[short bus president]

87. Sadly, I do.

:hi: I've been smokin' summa that, too. ;-)

[donheld]

37. Do what the sign says

[short bus president]

53. So maybe if I shuffle my feet, or

dance a little softshoe, it'd be OK?