The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about.....

[BikeWriter]

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lecthym (Pronounced "Gonna Re-elect Him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past 4 years, and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea lecthim include: Antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idée fixee; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing thinking.

This epidemic is out of control. MMWR reports it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. Excessive exposure to trailer parks, country gospel music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors. New CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's will.

Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief, but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward. Godlessness has its rewards.

[MsConduct]

1. Saw this before, but it's still funny-LOL n/t

[BikeWriter]

3. I'm glad you like it. :-) n/t

[TaleWgnDg]

2. hahahahahahahahahaha ... (and thanks, I needed that)

[BikeWriter]

4. Hee hee hee! You are most welcome! :-) n/t

[Hello_Kitty]

5. Well at least the symptoms are easily recognizable

Unlike most hideous communicable diseases. Just avoid contact, sexual or otherwise, with the following types of people:

Fundies

Drivers of Hummers and similar massive gas-guzzling behemoths

People who adorn themselves and their possesions with gaudy patriotic symbols or even worse, Confederate flags

People who appear to be perpetually constipated

Anyone who gets their news from Faux or Rush

Ann Coulter

This list is not all-inclusive but you know them when you encounter them. Remember, they are very dangerous and should be treated as deadly assailants at all times. If you have the misfortune of being acquainted with, related, or married to one of these frothing, rabid, diseased creatures be sure to take the necessary precautions....

[BikeWriter]

6. Unfortunately, I'm related to a few...

...They used to be quite reasonable, too. I don't know where they went wrong! :-(