United States Constitution found unconstitutional

[EstimatedProphet]

United States Constitution Found Unconstitutional

Washington DC- In one of the most controversial rulings in its history, the United States Supreme Court today ruled in a 5-4 decision that the United States Constitution, the document which sets forth governmental authority and restraints, is unconstitutional.

Chief Justice William Rehnquist led the decision, stating that the Constitution “has clearly restrained the abilities of government to do its job for far too long. It is a retroactive, not a proactive, document”.

Justice Antonin Scalia argued the most vehemently for the ruling, stating that the Constitution is a threat to freedom and security in the United States, and must be abolished. Scalia: “The very idea of this document restricting free Americans from their God-given rights to 24 hour surveillance, control over what their neighbors say and think, and their enjoyment of police search and seizure, is an affront to every patriotic right-thinking American. We cannot allow this document to weaken national security and the American moral fiber any longer”.

In a dissenting opinion, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg stated “I had always thought the Constitution was by definition, constitutional. Doesn’t everything flow from it? It would seem so”.

Republican pundit and self-proclaimed Constitutional authority Ann Coulter was quoted as saying “Thank God! It’s about damned time. I’m gonna go beat up some liberals now!”

[chicagiana]

1. Justice Thomas ...

Justice Thomas further commented that the country will now be governed by a sentence fragment from the Declaration of Independence.

"The line clearly reads '... by their creator.' This is the only official US document indicating that we're a Christian nation. Therefore, it's the only piece that we will keep. All other words are "godless, and must be eliminated from our system of governance".

When pressed about whether pornography would still be legal, Thomas commented "only for judicial review".

Reacting the the high court decision, the Iranian Supreme Court reacted with high favor. "This is what the United States needs. We've keeped this godless 'democracy' in check for three decades by striking down all the laws and banning all the people we don't agree with. We would prefer an Islamic court to a Christian court, but the supremecy of theocrats is a good step and should bring stronger relations to our two nations."

[EstimatedProphet]

2. Kick

just so

[ZombieNixon]

3. Bring in on, Man Coulter.

I can take you!