Drew Carey closes Conservative Comedians Association

[Gothic Sponge]

Funny man Drew Carey has reportedly closed the Conservative Comedians Association after only two years of operation. In a press release, the comedian cites 'being the only conservative comedian on Earth' for the close.

"It took a lot out of him," says long-time friend of Carey, Sam Jackman. "He was wearing too many hats too small for his head: chairman, treasurer, secretary - even caterer. Although he was pretty good at being a caterer."

Critics blame the lack of conservative comedians in the US on IQ. "To be a good comic, you have to be pretty intelligent. That's where it all falls down for the CCA."

"Although Drew was the only member of the organization until the very end, he really did try to alert fellow comedians to the evils of a higher minimum wage and universal health care," said Jackman. "Eventually, it became clear that all other comedians are just Bolsheviks who like to whine about stupid poor people."

It is believed that the CCA (or, Drew Carey) was until recently involved in secret negotations to secure the membership of Rush Limbaugh, in recognition of a lifetime of service to the 'unintential self-parody' genre of comedy. Unfortunately for the CCA, Rush didn't think of himself as funny in the same way everyone else does.

Critics of the club complained that while the idea of a Conservative Comedians Association is pretty funny, it's a bit odd that Drew Carey ever considered himself a comedian.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha," laughed at least one prime time comedian, laughing on the condition of anonymity. "Ha hah ha ha," he later added.

The failure of the Conservative Comedians Association to attract members is only the most recent incident in a long string of thwarted attempts by conservatives to attract talented minds.

In the realm of science, for instance, the right-wing has been opposed by every Nobel Prize recipient, most particularly by Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein.

Few are able to account for this phenomena, but researchers believe it has something to do with their high levels of education.

Meanwhile, one critic who has come to Drew Carey's defense writes, "Carey tries really hard to be original but being the world's only conservative comedian may be the wrong idea. Maybe he should wear a wacky tie and funny old fashioned glasses instead?"

http://www.brainsnap.com/node/99

:D

[punpirate]

1. Drew Carey is a comedian?

Could've fooled me....

[Phillycat]

2. Post of the day.

:thumbsup:

[J-Lo Biafra]

3. Could it just be that the guy hasn't been funny since 1998?

:shrug:

[The Zanti Regent]

4. Carey is a real snot in person

I had a very distasteful encounter with him. He's so arrogant and full of himself. He pushed himself in front of where I was in line to see a movie, bullied people and ridiculed a guy in a wheelchair. I hope he dies broke, begging for money and I'll just pass by and fart on him. (He did tell us that he loved to fart on people begging for money--what a sick freak!)

[flamingyouth]

10. He sounds delightful!

As if I didn't just hate him through my TV screen enough...

[ClintonTyree]

5. Dennis "the menace" Miller didn't join?

I don't consider Miller a Comedian either though. He's more a pseudo-intellectual word jockey, using large, arcane verbiage to tell a stupid story. .
Too bad about Carey. There just aren't enough loud, obnoxious blowhards spouting conservative lies to go around these days. :eyes:

[AmandaRuth]

6. hahahahahahaha.....

"Although Drew was the only member of the organization until the very end, he really did try to alert fellow comedians to the evils of a higher minimum wage and universal health care," said Jackman. "Eventually, it became clear that all other comedians are just Bolsheviks who like to whine about stupid poor people."


very very funny. Thanks for posting...

[democrat in Tallahassee]

7. heard he is big into porn, too. more conservative values, i guess

[underpants]

9. I believe he brought a stripper to a White House dinner

Now that's CLASS!

[ET Awful]

8. "Funny" man?

I guess that depends on whether or not you have a sense of humor.

[Ganja Ninja]

11. He gave it the wrong name. He should have called it ...

Scary Republican Party Clowns.

[Gothmog]

12. Sense of humor is a sign of intelligence

A good sense of humor is a sign of intelligence and since conservatives tend to be stupid, they have few good comics. I do not find Drew Carey to be that funny and this was a stupid gimmick that backfired.

[Arkana]

13. You know, it's funny...Drew's show is all right

but he's a fucker as a person.

[MsUSA]

14. I loved the British show "who's line is it anyway".

Then someone here in the US tried to adapt it and put it on ABC with drew being the "moderator". He's a joke, not even close to the wit of the British guy, but I must say, the four other guys (sometimes a woman), are great. So versatile with off the top comedy routines and ad libs. Drew is really, really bad though and it's just painful to watch him try to be funny. ugh....