I have to put my beautiful doggie to sleep today

[latebloomer]

Brownie is about 13 years old and has been going downhill rapidly over the last month. She's been refusing food-- my husband has been buying her steaks and pork chops, and some days she'll eat, some days she won't. She is having some trouble walking and is no longer interested in her beloved "walkies".

We took her to the vet on Tuesday and he said she had a liver infection that would require inpatient IV antibiotics. We can't afford that and there's no guarantee it would prolong her life much-- she is so wasted-- from 60 lbs she's now down to 40-- and plus she's a very old dog.

So we have decided to let her go today and it is so hard. I am crying so much I can barely see the keyboard. My kids-- and all of us-- love her so much. I keep second-guessing myself-- she doesn't seem to be in pain-- maybe we should hold onto her longer? It hurts so much to have to kill her but i don't want to wait till she can't move, is incontinent, etc. It is just so hard to let her go.

[fertilizeonarbusto]

1. Oh, No!

:hug:

[trotsky]

2. The most important thing to keep in mind

is that you are putting HER well-being first. That makes you the best pet owner of all. Despite the pain it will cause you, you are doing it for her.

[Lost4words]

11. trotsky remarks are what you need to hold onto,

and the love and wonderful home you have provided for your friend.

I am very sorry.

[latebloomer]

15. trotsky remarks?

Please explain.

And thank you for your kind words.

[latebloomer]

17. never mind, I see now.

[latebloomer]

19. Thank you, trotsky

I know you are right, and I'll keep that in mind.

In grief, I think we are crying mostly for ourselves, and not the loved one who is being released from pain.

[trotsky]

26. I had to put my cat down three years ago.

He had been my buddy since I had gotten my first apartment. He was just a 6 month old kitten then. We chased each other around all the time. I got married, got other cats, had a son, but he was still there and was always my buddy. But he had a congenital kidney defect - one kidney had never formed properly. And so when the other kidney began to have problems, it was trouble. My last night with him was at the emergency vet as they were trying to save him from a botched cathederization. I was sitting there, petting and scratching his head, and then he just looked at me, and I knew he had had enough. Any more was only for my benefit - not his. He died in my arms peacefully and I will never forget him. R.I.P., Hobbes.

[Lost4words]

32. so very very true......................................................eom

[radwriter0555]

41. Brownie is the LUCKIEST DOGGIE in the whole wide world right now, to be SO

very, very loved, and to have had such a wonderful life with you!!!!

You're very brave to put her needs before yours, and to let her slip to the other side in comfort, love and compassion.

Huge hugs, and a pile of tissues, and my shirt sleeve if you need it.

[madison2000]

3. I'm so sorry

I had to do that 12 years ago with my border collie, and I have an older dog now. They just don't live long enough.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

4. I am SOOOO sorry... It's the hardest decision! I did it in April

and my guy was only 6.... untreatable cancer. You're doing the right thing, hard as it is. It's the last act of love to let them go humanely. She must be hurting. Take care...

:hug:

[goddess40]

5. so sorry

Make sure you do what's best for her

[latteromden]

6. It's never a fun thing to do

We had to put our cat of 20 years to sleep a few years back, and it was terrible for us, but it would have been even worse for her to not do it. You're right do what's best for her. :hug:

[progmom]

7. I'm so sorry.

We put our first doggy, the most wonderful Abbey, down last year after a two-year battle with kidney failure. She was ridiculously sick but still really happy and engaged until that last weekend. We had been praying all along that we would know when it was time, and she made it really obvious to us when it was time.

I'm so sorry - I know how terrible this feels. It's going to be tough for awhile. Make sure you have people who are sympathetic to talk to. It helps. People who don't love dogs can be really callous about the whole thing. :hug: :cry:

[latebloomer]

27. I'm sorry about your Abbey too

And you're right-- I am only seeking out the animal lovers today. They understand.

[Metatron]

8. I'm so sorry for your loss.

It is so hard losing a pet. :hug:

[MemphisTiger]

9. What breed is Brownie?

A good friend had the same thing happen to his boxer. My heart goes out to you.

[latebloomer]

12. Mutt. with some collie and shepherd

Very sweet dog. We rescued her from an elderly relative who could no longer care for her-- she was 6 years old. She might have had to go to the pound if we didn't take her-- so i tell myself we gave her 7 more happy years. But they went so fast. . .

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

10. I'm very sorry

But you are not "killing" her. You are, as someone else said, performing the last act of love you can do for her. It sounds like she is letting you know that it is time. My cat died last year at age 19, and he also stopped eating and had trouble walking. Fortunately he died in my arms, but I had an appointment to have him put to sleep in the afternoon of the day he died. I'm glad I didn't have to face what you are facing; I don't know if I could handle it. It's SO hard to lose a furry friend, especially one who has been such an integral part of your family life. You have many friends here at DU who understand your pain. Take care today.

[latebloomer]

13. Thank you.

You are all so kind.

When our cat died she died at home, but it was agonizing. I don't know which is worse.

[elehhhhna]

20. God/Jah/fill-in-the-blank-- bless Brownie...she's a lucky dog.

I did this with our 13 year old siamese last year. My poor baby.

Certainly the best way to transition is peacefully, in the arms of someone you are devoted to, who's whispering I love you. We should all be so lucky.

[Floogeldy]

14. Heartbreaking

I so love the doggies.

[Demit]

16. My heart goes out to you. Two things I did that helped me--

when I had to let go of my Douglas. I took a lock of his hair to keep, and I had the vet come to the house so Doug could lie in his favorite place and not on the cold metal table.
If you have to go to the vet's, bring your pup's favorite blanket for her to lie on.

I feel so bad for you.

[latebloomer]

21. My 10-year-old already asked for a lock of her hair

Though we haven't specifically told the kids, they know it's not good.

She has a beautiful plumey tail-- maybe I'll lop off a piece of that too.

And the blanket suggestion is a good one.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

29. Yes, save some of her fur

This sounds weird, but when Fergus died, I cut off and saved his whiskers, some of his fur and especially the white fur on two of his toes that was so cute and caused one friend to call him "Toe White" (he was a black and brown tiger cat with the white ruff and no white elsewhere but his toes).

Can you post a picture of Brownie when you have time (and are feeling up to it)?

[Gothic Sponge]

18. I'm very sorry.

:(

[Catchawave]

22. (((Hugs)))

I'd like to share this essay from Eugene O'Neill which has always brought me comfort when faced with the same heartbreaking decision of putting down a beloved pet:

The Last Will and Testament of Silverdene Emblem O'Neill
http://www.eoneill.com/texts/blemie/contents.htm

Thoughts are with you and your family today.

[latebloomer]

24. That was beautiful!

I will show it to my husband.

[Catchawave]

40. I'm glad you liked it......

...it never fails to let me remember a lifetime of unconditional love.

[GreenPartyVoter]

23. I am so sorry *hugs and prayers*

-------------------------------------
Fight the fraud; Fix the system!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/

[ProfessorGAC]

25. That's A Shame

Hope you and family get another doggie you can love just as much. Take Care of yourself and your family.
The Professor

[demnan]

28. The most heartbreaking thing in the world

is putting down a beloved pet. You just have to tell yourself that you provided her with a wonderful life and she knew you loved her. After a period of grieving I hope you will share this love with another lucky pet.

[ET Awful]

30. I'm so sorry :(

Big hugs and my condolences. Give Brownie an extra hug from me. :( :cry:

[H3Dakota]

31. Heart is with you

Trust me - you would always regret it if you allowed her condition to get worse. It is so much better for HER if you gently let her go before she IS suffering. If you have any concerns about it being the right thing to do because she seems to be in no pain? Get a second opinion, just to be sure, before you make the decision.

If you decide to go ahead - I'd take a day or two to have the family spend some special time with her to make sure everyone gets a chance to say goodbye.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Lots of hugs to you & your family...

[Rainbowreflect]

33. I am so very sorry to hear this.

I had to make this decision for my beloved Micky a few years ago. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it was the right decision for him. :hug:

[MissMillie]

34. She was lucky to have you in her life...

After all, you are able to think of her comfort first.

Don't think of this as killing her. The infection and her age are killing her. You are helping her to stop hurting.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[arcane1]

35. sending major hugs your way

Had to do that to one of my kitties last month, and it's the hardest thing I have ever done :(

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[auntAgonist]

36. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Please accept my condolences. It is NEVER an easy choice.

:cry:

[bearfan454]

37. She will be waiting for you on the Rainbow bridge

Along with my baby Daisy



http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

[commander bunnypants]

38. Peace and Karma friend

you are doing what is best

CB

[huskerlaw]

39. I had to make the same decision

with my cat earlier this year. He had FIV (feline AIDS) and was refusing to eat. I struggled with whether or not to have him put to sleep as well. I finally made the decision when I sat down and thought about why I wanted to keep him alive. My reasons had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. I realized that keeping him alive to spare myself the pain of missing him was not a good enough reason.

I'm not saying that's the decision you should make, it's a very personal choice. I had a friend tell me, "you'll know when it's time." She was right. If it helps at all, I cried uncontrollably when it was happening, but began to feel better about my decision later that day. I miss him, but I know it was the right thing to do.

My thoughts are with you, it's a horrible decision and painful process.

[ernstbass]

42. I'm so sorry for your loss

I have had to make this difficult decision for several dogs in the past and you made the decision out of love. Please consider going to your local dog pound and saving a dog's life by adopting - do it in honor of your sweet Brownie. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.

[fluffernutter]

43. i'm so sorry, hugs to you.

[Wapsie B]

44. My heart goes out to you.

We had to put down our terrier about two years ago and it still hurts.
I know it felt like a person died. She was my son's first birthday present and was there when the vet put her down.
My deepest sympathies.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. It was even hard to let go when my brother's dog,

a real sweetheart, had to be put to sleep. :cry:

I'm sorry, latebloomer. I know it's not much consolation, but when you know that her condition will only get worse, you can only brace yourself for the inevitable. :hug:

[Hand]

46. Just remember...

...that to depart this world peacefully with little pain, surrounded by love and caring, and with a long and wonderful life to look back upon is a gift that many, many beings never receive.

Sometimes the greatest kindness we can offer to a beloved animal companion is also the greatest pain to ourselves, but we took on that burden when we chose to bring them into our lives.

Brownie will know that you love her and are doing her the final kindness, and will find a way to thank you and dry the tears from your eyes.

Safe journey, little one.

:hug: :cry:

[latebloomer]

47. She is gone now

It was so very hard to witness her death-- it runs so counter to your instincts to have to do this. We cried and told her how much we loved her and what a wonderful dog she has been to us. Now I am bracing myself to tell the kids.

I just want to thank you all for all your helpful thoughts and kind words. DU is such a special place.

Love you all.

:hug:

[Willy Lee]

48. I know it is so hard...

Here is a poem I found when I had to say goodbye to my dear friend Socrates.

We have a secret....
We have a secret, you and I,
That no one else shall know,
For who, but I can see you lie,
Each night, in fireglow?
And who but I can reach my hand
Before we go to bed,
And feel the living warmth of you
And touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths,
And see, ahead of me,
Your small form racing with the wind,
So young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
In every brook I pass...
And, when I call, no one but I
Can see the bending grass.

-- Author Unknown

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

49. I know... it's hard. I highly recommend this book:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0965922502/102-8704914-7009766?v=glance

I lost my forever dog, Sammy... and this helped me and my son tremendously.

[CornField]

50. So sorry

:hug:

I went through the same with Wendy, our Dalmatian, back in April of this year. She was 14.

That day was difficult, but I think the following weeks were worse for me. If you need to chat, please feel free to drop me a line.

All my best to your family. Rest in peace, Brownie.

[Minimus]

52. My heart goes out to you as I had to do the same thing last week.

It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I have no children and my precious little boy Sonic was with me for close to 13 years. I held him until he took his last breath and his heart stopped, telling him how much I loved him and thanking him for being in my life. I told him to rest peacefully because he would soon have no more pain.

I found comfort in this poem (I do not know who wrote it, but I was so glad to find it);


From a Grateful Dog

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner till the end.
Please, understand just what this gift
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it, too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever-faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
... a young dog once again.


You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and my sweet Sonic is waiting to greet your beloved pet.



Rest in peace my precious little boy
Sonic, 1991-2004

[latebloomer]

56. That poem made me cry

It was beautiful.

I'm so sorry about your Sonic, too, Minimus. They are so much a part of us.

[Mrs. Venation]

51. latebloomer, even though this hurts you so much

you have made the right decision for your dog. I had to have my old dog, Buddy, euthanized 3+ years ago, and I still miss him. The day he left us was one of the worst days of my life. But to make him live with disease, unable to enjoy the things he once loved, unable to understand why he was in pain, well, that would have just been cruel to Buddy.

After some time has passed, you will be able to think of Brownie without pain. Bertha and I sometimes think of Buddy during our commute -- he loved riding in the car -- or sometimes when watching television and a character will make some remark that reminds us of him.

Let me gently suggest that you retain Brownie's ashes. I didn't do that with Buddy, and I regret it.

[latebloomer]

55. Yes, we are cremating her

We did this with our cat Zorina, and we have a little altar with family photos. Every morning before she leaves for school my 10-year-old daughter says goodbye to the whole family, including Zorina. Brownie will join her on the altar.

[DemGa]

59. I'm sorry for your loss and pain.

[Padraig18]

53. You showed her the ultimate love today.

Despite the pain you knew it would cause you, you granted her a peaceful, quiet and gentle death, surrounded by those she loved. She was lucky to have had someone who loved her enough to do that for her, despite the pain they knew it would bring to them.

:hug:

[Phentex]

54. I'm so sorry...

I know how much this hurts! My heart is heavy for you.

[Sanity Claws]

57. My condolences

I'm sorry for your loss. Don't second guess yourself -- you did the merciful thing.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

58. I'm so sorry for your loss

It's such a sad thing to have to do. Brownie was so fortunate to have a family who loved her enough to let her go in peace. Bless you all.
:hug: