British asshats trash your favorite musicians in the Guardian

[Fenris]

You should read the whole thing for laugh or two (at the expense of the authors or the musicians they are making fun of) but the article is perhaps the most hardcore music snobbery ever witnessed. Here's an example:

The Beatles
Thanks to these four, Britain's high watermark of musical creativity is still considered to be pub rock made by white idiots. As if polluting the 1960s with their safe, insipid music wasn't bad enough, they've exerted a stranglehold on culture since, inspiring generations of terrible bands and being feted by Chris Evans and Alan Partridge. Between their toe-curling rhyming couplets, tax-dodging, horseshit "spirituality" and Octopus's Garden, the Beatles embody everything wrong with the 60s in general and hippies in particular.

Enter if you dare: http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1365982,00.html?gusrc=rss

[Fenris]

1. kick

[mr blur]

2. Hmm.... but just about all of it's true. (n/t)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

3. Holy shit - its like Wat_Tyler Meets whoisalhedges in a bad mood!

After talking for an hour with RandomKoolzip

[flamingyouth]

23. ROFL

You, good sir, are the master of calling-out! :7

[nine23]

4. I don't know if you read the Guardian that often...

But David Stubbs, the author of this article, is a tongue-in-cheek, comedic "shit-disturbing provocateur". It's his "hook". It's a lark; all in good fun. If you know this "going in", he's actually quite funny and not to be taken seriously.

If you're ever in London, try reading some of the restaurant critics in the major dailies. They're "rock stars of bitchiness", and treated in much the same manner. People read 'em for a laugh.

[Phillycat]

5. Fuckin' awesome!

Like the poor and Pauline Fowler, Neil Young is always with us, a reminder of the drearier things of life.

I disagree, but it made me LMAO!

[Mike Daniels]

21. The review on Young reminded me of a critic who said the title track of

"After the Gold Rush" reminded him of nothing so much as some old woman wheezing her way through "My Lonely Petunia Patch" (whatever the hell that means).

Some other critic once said that Young had the "whitest" voice in rock and I do have to agree with that.

[Zuni]

30. I said the same thing ---F-in A. I love some of the artists on there

but you couldn't help but admit these guys had them pegged down cold.

[jakefrep]

6. I particularly enjoyed the bit...

about Kurt Cobain having hemorrhoids.

[warrens]

7. That was great

It's an old journalistic ploy, and quite fun to do and to read. Take down someone who is unquestionably good. I did one on the NY Times in school, but I meant it.

[asthmaticeog]

8. I agreed with a few of those.

I won't say which, as I'm not feeling particularly flamewarish today.

[Fenris]

9. Yeah, so did I.

But I'll keep my opinions to myself.:)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

10. This proves the Grateful Dead are great by omission

well, actually.....never mind

[Susang]

11. I think we all agree with a few

That's the point of the article. Now whether that's to point out that we're all snobby English rock critics at heart or that that every sacred cow has someone who wants to dead, I'm not sure. :shrug:

[Phillycat]

12. Everyone who's posted on this thread is a snobby English rock critic

at heart, including you and me. :) And that's why we love us. :loveya:

[ProfessorGAC]

16. I Resent That! I'm Not British!

Snobby, i'll cop to! Not the British part though.
The Professor

[Phillycat]

18. I said, at heart! At heart!

;-)

[ProfessorGAC]

19. Yeah, But I'm Not A Snob "At Heart"

I'm just a flat out, completely for real, snob.
The Professor

[Phillycat]

20. Yep, me too.

But my point is, aren't all of us American snobs secretly wanting to be British? That way all our holier-than-thou pronouncements would SOUND right!

[Zuni]

24. correction----then we would want to be French snobs

because nobody sounds snootier than the French. no one.

[Phillycat]

26. You are correct, sir! (said in snooty French accent)

[Zuni]

31. I agreed with practically every one----and some of my favorite artists are

on that list. From James Brown to the Rolling Stones to the Clash, they were nailed. And I love James Brown, The Clash and the Rolling Stones.

[Phillycat]

33. I know, even the one of "What's Goin' On" was right on the money.

And it KILLS me to admit it!

[NoPasaran]

13. My favorite slam

About the Clash:
"But," bleat the apologists, "they were political." The only sensible response to which being: "So was Enoch Powell, but even he'd have drawn the line at white jeans."

[jpgray]

14. I think you can make a good argument that any given band sucks (nt)

[regularguy]

15. "Deep fried toss on toast." Oh, man that's funny.

[ZoCrowes]

17. Hey it's fun

A lot of what they say is true and a lot of it is no talent hacks talking out of their asses. Now this guy is REALLY funny and rips everybody

www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks

Quote of the day: "He styled himself "the Lizard King - I can do anything". This lizard didn't even survive a strenuous wank in a hotel bathtub"

[Chovexani]

36. That guy's hilarious!

That's for that link, I've bookmarked it in my Catty folder. :hi:

[JimmyJazz]

22. I've got a picture of Joe Strummer on my desk in the white jeans!

I've got to agree with the author - it really isn't pretty! :P

[Zuni]

29. I love the Clash and many other bands they bashed, but there is

a lot of truth in what they said in each one of the entries.

[JimmyJazz]

32. I totally agree. Besides, they are men, not gods. I think they

did a lot to inspire a lot of people both musically and politically, but they did look a bit ridiculous on occassion. And, even Mick Jones thinks Sandinista is overblown. They should release a mini-ista - cut it down to the single LP it should have been in the first place!

[Mike Daniels]

25. Tounge in cheek or not - The Doors do suck

I drove my parents nuts listening to their albums non-stop when I was in high school 1983-1985.

I put on a couple of their albums a year or so ago having not listened to them in any great length for years and couldn't believe how bad the majority of their stuff reeked once you reached adulthood.

[Zuni]

28. The band is fantastic, Jim Morrison however, is a pretentious POS

I get sick whenever people try to make him out as some kind of genius. He was a loudmouthed drunk and a drugged out freak, not a prophet.

[Zuni]

27. That was F-IN Awesome! And I love some of the bands and artists

they trashed---it was a riot though. There was sooooo much truth in all the dissing they did, even with some of my all time favorites on there.

[Wat_Tyler]

34. Face it, 96% of music is shit.

Now, I know a good 34% of that is Celine Dion, but that leaves plenty of shit to go around. Most things are shit, really.

[Chovexani]

35. Oh no they didn't.

They trashed Bowie. Bitches must die (even though they were pretty much right, LOL)! :P

Seriously though, that article is fucking hilarious. I agreed with a lot of what they said, which sort of surprised me. More importantly though, it's just a brilliantly written piece of snark. :)