What "rules of life" do you live by?

[Taxloss]

Most people have loads that are not based remotely on morality, they're just rules. Here's a brief summary of some of mine to get you started:

1. Never go to the pub nearest the station.

2. Never play cards with a woman whose first name is also a city.

3. It's better to regret doing something than to regret NOT doing something.

4. Never fight a land war in Asia.

5. Never trust a newspaper article that says "X causes cancer/autism/alzheimer's/cooties" when X is something widespread and commonly used.

6. All shampoo is the same.

Yours?

[OldLeftieLawyer]

1. Do no harm..............

unless they absolutely deserve it.

[fryguy]

2. my summary

Eat when you're hungry.

Sleep when you're tired.

Answer the phone when it rings.

[billyskank]

3. Never pee into the wind,

Never throw your briefcase over a wall before you're sure you can climb it...

[Squatch]

22. Three rules

1) Never piss against the wind
2) Never piss uphill
3) Never draw against the Lone Ranger

[Moon Princess]

4. Rules I live By

1. Never be afraid to have fun, no matter how foolish it may make you look.
2. Don't take yourself too seriously.

[Kali]

5. agree totally with #5

and related to #3: easier to get forgiveness than permission!

If you have a chance to travel TAKE it.

Shampoos may be the same but conditioners are not! (Use any shampoo, but use Pantene conditioner)

[StopTheMorans]

6. never turn down offers for dinner, drinks, or s**

:evilgrin:

[skygazer]

7. A couple of mine

Never write anything down unless you don't mind somebody else reading it.

Never allow anyone to take a picture of you unless you're not going to mind others seeing it.

If you're not prepared to clean thoroughly, don't look under the bed.

Bend your legs when you lift.

[MissMillie]

8. Mine

1. An electric can opener is the biggest waste of counter space there is, unless you have arthritic hands.

2. The only thing better than a shot of tequilla is two shots of tequilla.

3. Family (in all of its forms) comes first.

4. Never pretend to assume that you know what God wants from us.

5. Don't even begin to think that you can control your children. Teach them as best you can and hope they make the right decisions. Love them no matter what.

6. Don't keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expect a different result.

[rkc3]

9. My personal list:

Always know some history about the person you're drinking with.
Always cheat up - never sideways or down (Bill's problem).
Never look inside a Big Mac.
Always ask for forgiveness rather than beg for permission.
Allow others to merge in traffic.
Smile when being sworn at.
Tell the kids you love them when you leave in the morning and tuck them in at night. (Some of my rules might get me shot during the day - so I like to keep them posted on where they stand.)

[NoPasaran]

10. It's easier to beg forgiveness than it is to get permission

Never give a sucker an even break

Never wisen up a chump

You can't cheat an honest man

[Taxloss]

11. One I forgot from my main list

All families have a secret. That secret is that they are not like other families.

[Phillycat]

12. Remove the cig from your mouth before pulling on a crewneck sweater.

[JimmyJazz]

13. I only have a few to add to the list:

1. Remember that "how are you?" is a greeting and not an invitation to vent.

2. Never lend anyone more money than you can afford to give away.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously.

4. Remember that worrying doesn't add time on to your life.

And the one rule I DON'T live by is "never go to bed angry" - If that were true God would not have invented the Barcalounger.

[youthere]

14. In life..

There are very few "real" emergencies
If you agree with the majority it is time to change your position.
Never loan money-but give it when you can.
Everyone has hidden hurts.
Everyone is going through a hard time.
Everyone could use a lift.
Never buy a Tooneyville Choo-Choo.
Brush twice daily and floss.
Religion is not the same as faith.
Never eat spaghetti before going on "The Zipper"
Lather Rinse Repeat.

[Danger Duck]

15. The rules:

You break it, you buy it. If you set it on fire, it's someone else's problem.

Pay all bills in a timely manner. Using soon to be valuable collector comic books.

Practice safe sex. Always wear a helmet.

Never rub another man's Rubarb.

Never accuse someone else of witchcraft unless you are positive they are a witch, or you're positive they're not. Stay out ofthe middle of the road.

While cute and playful when they'r eyoung, Republicans make lousy pets.

[lpbk2713]

16. Never eat at a place called "Mom's"

[meisje]

17. Lord loves a work'n man, See a doctor n get rid of it, and

Don't trust whitie!

[Amaya]

19. LOL!!!

:)

[ernstbass]

18. There's always time to take a nap

[Taxloss]

28. Aha - not an airline pilot

eom

[AlCzervik]

20. Mine

I always say please and thank you
I never talk bad about someone in front of my daughter-never
I never smoke in my house or yours even if you say it's ok
I always tip no matter how bad the service might be

[Squatch]

21. Never, ever back up slowly when you think you're in a horror movie

[sadinred]

23. never go below the Mason Dixon...

but then I moved to Florida.
Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk.
Never laugh while eating Jello.
Never force ANYONE to do ANYTHING (unless it's a child who needs a bath or bedtime or something like that).
Never say "I wish someone would ____ Bush" or "I wish Bush would ________" on the phone.

edited

[shinju1985]

24. it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool

than to open it and remove all doubt

[antigone382]

25. Oh, I favor removing all doubt myself.

Most people don't have much doubt about me to begin with :)

[guitar man]

26. Never sit with your back to the door

and don't make the mistake of bringing a knife to a gunfight.

<edit typo>

[Left Is Write]

27. Mine

1. Try to maintain healthy habits, but know that letting go and having a little "bad" fun (skipping a workout now and then, eating a big juicy burger) sometimes is good for the soul.

2. Model and expect good behavior from the kids, but recognize that kids are kids and will act as such. And that's okay.

3. Resist the urge to be right all the time.

4. Sometimes what we don't say is just as important as what we do say.

5. Try to avoid wallowing in the negative.

[Taxloss]

29. These are great!

I'm loving this post, and it's the most popular I've ever started! We should bring out a little book on Cafe Press...

[bikebloke]

30. A couple maxims passed along from my grandmother

You can never learn enough.

Let people say what they want to say, but you do what *you* want to do.

[kohodog]

31. Is this phase one of lumpy Gravy?

...Frank Zappa


Sums it up for me.