most comical lyrics...

[thoughtanarchist]

Phish has some 4 star silly lyrics,
but They Might Be Giants has, IMO, cornered the market on silly lyrics:


The edison museum
not open to the public
its haunted towers rise
into the clouds above it
the people come from out of state
just to gaze in amazement when they seeeeee
it.


Add comical lyrics here... What's your favorite?

[Blue in a Red State]

1. Some lyrics I find humorous

From If Dirt Were Dollars, Don Henley:

I was flyin’ back from lubbock
I saw jesus on the plane
...or maybe it was elvis
You know, they kinda look the same

Religion, Elton John:

Well he could almost taste the money
But he was sitting in a den of thieves
Looking for the great awakening
Trying to find a way to leave
But that's when he got religion
And the light went on inside
He said somebody up there likes me
Now he's working for the holy guide

He got drunk but he don't remember
That he'd been drinking in a bar downtown
When he thought he heard a choir of angels
Singing in the Tiki Lounge
And that's when he got religion
From no salesman on TV
Just a tap on the shoulder in the parking lot
He still drinks but he does believe

Religion, you do the best you can
We all make the same mistakes
We're gonna wind up with the man

Religion, oh you do the best you can
We all make the same mistakes
We're gonna wind up with the man

She was silent as he paid her
But the thanks she got was next to none
And as her car pulled out of the motel
She felt the presence of someone
And that's when she got religion
In the front of a compact Ford
Just a gentle voice on the stereo
Now she's a working girl who loves the lord

[noshenanigans]

2. Jill Sobule's "I Kissed A Girl"

"They can have their diamonds.. and we'll have our pearls"

Heh. It may be funnier to me because I was a good Southern Baptist and my older sister had to explain what it meant.

Edited to add, if it counts, everything by Tenacious D.

[Placebo]

3. "CHICKS WITH D*CKS" by: Impotent Sea Snakes

I live life for the weekends- I like to party right
I like my beer ice cold- My p*ssy, wet and tight
I cashed my check on Friday- And went straight to the bar
I met a gorgeous brunette- and took her to my car
She stripped me to my jock strap- she was so young and meek
She vanished in the darkness- Yelling, “Let’s play hide and seek.”
I peered around the corner- and frightened by my find
A penis totin’ homo- with some bufu on the mind
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- Transvestites can be proud
…I’ve never seen a pretty face- On one so well endowed
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- P*nis envy not required
…Your resume looks good to me- and honey you are hired
She grabbed me by the gonads- and threw me in the street
And filled my anal cavity- with 15 pounds of meat
She humped my butt for hours- ‘til cum drained from my ears
Then turned my a** on over- to two obliging queers
She f*cked me one more time- then made me give her head
Then drove me to her house- and chained me to her bed
For months I was her sex slave- ‘til I escaped one day
But, I couldn’t live without her- So, I’ve come back to stay
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- Transvestites can be proud
…I’ve never seen a pretty face- On one so well endowed
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- P*nis envy not required
…Your resume looks good to me- and honey you are hired
And now I shop at Frederick’s- for all my lingerie
My face is caked with make-up- my hair is full of spray
I sleep with gorgeous men- with lots of bucks and class
I take them for a ride- I take them up my a**
I threw away my old friends- I found another scene
I’m happy as a homo- I’m proud to be a queen
I have no desire for females- in fact, they make me sick
I’m every inch a woman- except of course my d*ck
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- Transvestites can be proud
…I’ve never seen a pretty face- On one so well endowed
…Chicks with d*cks, Chicks with d*cks- P*nis envy not required
…Your resume looks good to me- and honey you are hired

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. I've Got You Under my Drawers

from Space Ghost (Sung by Brak)

I got you under my drawers
In the dresser in the corner of my room
There with the socks and the shorts
Sits my favorite photograph of you
It's a picture I took of you one time
When we were on vacation at the beach (Where's the beach?)
It's right there behind you attached to ocean
Right under the sky above the beach (There's the beach)
I got you under my drawers (Drawers)
In the dresser in the corner of my room (Room)
It's there with the socks and the shorts (Socks)
I got the picture, but I don't have you
You see about 5 seconds after I took the picture
I giant robotic crab came out of the ocean and took you away (Far away)
I hear your married now with little crabs of your own
And if I saw you on the street I'd look away (Look away)
I think maybe I'll clean out my drawers
The ones in the dresser in the corner of my room
I'll throw out all my socks and my shorts
Who needs underpants, when I don't have you? *Sigh*
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la
Boy oh boy am I happy now, oh boy
La la la la la la la, la la la la everybody sing
La la la la don't you know a word. One more time!
La-la-la, la la-la-la, la la-la-la, la la-la-la
La la-la-la, la la-la-la-la la la la
La-la-la la la la la la.......
La la....la la la la la
Oh man!

[thoughtanarchist]

6. Go BRAK!

Indeed Brak rocks!

:headbang:

[JimmyJazz]

10. Hey, Zoro! How are you?

:hi:

[obreaslan]

5. Bob Dylan's I shall Be Free No. 10

<snip>

I was shadow-boxing earlier in the day
I figured I was ready for Cassius Clay
I said "Fee, fie, fo, fum, Cassius Clay, here I come
26, 27, 28, 29, I'm gonna make your face look just like mine
Five, four, three, two, one, Cassius Clay you'd better run
99, 100, 101, 102, your ma won't even recognize you
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, gonna knock him clean right out of his spleen."

Well, I don't know, but I've been told
The streets in heaven are lined with gold
I ask you how things could get much worse
If the Russians happen to get up there first.
Wowee! Pretty scary!

Now, I'm liberal, but to a degree
I want ev'rybody to be free
But if you think that I'll let Barry Goldwater
Move in next door and marry my daughter
You must think I'm crazy!
I wouldn't let him do it for all the farms in Cuba.

Well, I set my monkey on the log
And ordered him to do the Dog
He wagged his tail and shook his head
And he went and did the Cat instead
He's a weird monkey, very funky.

I sat with my high-heeled sneakers on
Waiting to play tennis in the noonday sun
I had my white shorts rolled up past my waist
And my wig-hat was falling in my face
But they wouldn't let me on the tennis court.

I gotta woman, she's so mean
She sticks my boots in the washing machine
Sticks me with buckshot when I'm nude
Puts bubblegum in my food
She's funny, wants my money, calls me "honey."

Now I gotta friend who spends his life
Stabbing my picture with a bowie-knife
Dreams of strangling me with a scarf
When my name comes up he pretends to barf.
I've got a million friends!

Now they asked me to read a poem
At the sorority sister's home
I got knocked down and my head was swimmin'
I wound up with the Dean of Women
Yippee! I'm a poet, and I know it.
Hope I don't blow it.

I'm gonna grow my hair down to my feet so strange
So I look like a walking mountain range
And I'm gonna ride into Omaha on a horse
Out to the country club and the golf course.
Carry the New York Times, shoot a few holes, blow their minds.

<snip>

[ragin_acadian]

7. toss up between

mi camioneta se llena con un chingo de mota

or

it's friday night the moon is full, i'm looking for a sacrifice
my leather coat with painted goat is armor for my quest
blood will run into my chalice, fitting for unholy deeds
the cross is turned, hell's unbound
fire burns your churches down

sunday's here the time has come to put away my leather coat
by ten o clock i'll be in bed dreaming of my evil deeds
when day breaks the morning light
wakes me from my deepest dreams
to be the slave who works all day sweeping up at burger king

evil, hell, satan, goat, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. any song by Randy Newman

n/t

[CO Liberal]

9. The Late, Great Allan Sherman

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Allan Sherman
Note: "S" is Sherman, "C" is the chorus and "B" is both

S: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio
C: On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: Green polka dot pajamas
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
S: It's a Nakashuma
C: On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
C: Green polka dot pajamas and a Japanese transistor radio
S: It's the Mark 4 model - that's the one that's discontinued
C: On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A simulated alligator wallet
C: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
green polka dot pajamas and a Japanese transistor radio
S: And it comes with a leatherette case with holes in it
so you can listen right through the case
C: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
C: A simulated alligator wallet, a calendar book with the name
of my insurance man, green polka dot pajamas and a
Japanese transistor radio
S: And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you can stick
in your ear and a thing on the other end you can't stick
anywhere because it's bent
C: On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A hammered aluminum nutcracker, and all that other stuff
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A pink satin pillow that said "San Diego" with fringe all around it
And all that other stuff
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: An indoor plastic birdbath
C: All that other stuff
S: And a Japanese transistor radio
C: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A pair of teakwood showercloths
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A chromium combination manicure, scissors and cigarette lighter
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me
S: An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
S: On the twelfth day of Christmas although it may seem strange
On the twelfth day of Christmas I'm going to exchange
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
C: A chromium combination manicure, scissors and cigarette lighter
S: A pair of teakwood showercloths
C: An indoor plastic birdbath
S: A pink satin pillow that said "San Diego" with fringe all around it
C: A hammered aluminum nutcracker
S: A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
C: A simulated alligator wallet
S: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
C: Green polka dot pajamas
B: AND A JAPANESE TRANSISTOR RADIO
S: MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/allan-sherman-the-twelve-days-of-christmas-lyrics.html

[Fleurs du Mal]

11. Many of The Dickies songs to this day make me laugh

"Walk Like An Egg"

I'm just a lonley egg
Peel me down
I'm not afraid
What will we do
What will we do
What will we do

Walk like an egg
Yankee shake a leg,shake a leg,shake a leg
C'mon and walk like an egg
Yankee shake a leg,shake a leg,shake a leg

I'm just a lonely egg and I'm an egghead
Peel me down and I'm white and naked
Everybody thinks that I'm just a joke
Baby,baby the joke's on you

Waddling around
Egg is in town
A fellow's gotta waddle
He's hittin' full throttle

[JimmyJazz]

12. Only Joe Strummer could write a song about a condom

Standing in the bog of a West End bar
Guy on the right leaning over too far
Money in my pocket gonna put it in the slot
Open up the pack see what type I got
I didn't want to hold you
I didn't want to use you
Protex, Protex Blue
All I wanna do
It's a fab protective for that type of a girl
But everybody knows that se uses it well
It's the therapeutic structure I can use at will
But I don't think it fits my B.D. Drill
Sitting in a carriage of a Bakerloo
Erotica my pocket got a packet for you
Advert on the escalator on my way home
I don't need no skin flicks, I wanna be alone
I didn't want to hold you
I didn't want to use you
Protex, Protex Blue
All I wanna do
Johnny, Johnny