if jesus came to your house, what would you do?

[datasuspect]

listening to red sovine this morning . . .

[Clinton Crusader]

1. ask WHY this is allowed to go on....

and do you really talk to *?? :evilgrin:

[Cleopatra2a]

2. I was thinking the same thing

Why are we being punished.

[LeighAnn]

3. Offer him something to eat

And just sit back and listen

[bush_is_wacko]

10. Yes!

And see if he has any idiea why his message has been perverted so badly. Maybe see what he thinks, if anything, it will take to change hearts and minds enough to get his REAL message!

[Left Is Write]

32. That's my answer too.

:thumbsup:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

4. Ask him to go talk to the fundiNazis and tell them they're perverting

his message.

[Fridays Child]

43. He'd tell you that they already know that and they're pleased about it.

[ohioliberal]

5. Why am I still out of a job after two years

and to make my father better.

[Mika]

6. Try to convert him to Christianity

Its either that, or he will burn in that eternal lake of fire. :shrug:

[Dr.Phool]

7. Ask him if he brought the pork chops.

[intheflow]

8. Feed him wine and fish sticks?

Just a thought, plus I have all the ingredients in my house.

And if he came to Denver in December in only sandals and a toga-type thing, I'd try and get him some warmer clothes.

But the important question here is, would you recognize Jesus if he came to your house? The historical Jesus wouldn't be blond and blue-eyed as we've all come to know him, he'd look Middle Eastern. And the metaphysical Jesus is anyone in need right now: "What ever you do for the least of my brothers, you do for me." (Matthew 25:40)

[datasuspect]

9. i like the idea

that if a deity came to you, you wouldn't recognize him or her.

sorta like how the ancient greeks were compelled to take in wayward travellers - you never knew if it was zeus in disguise or something.

still, i like matthew 25:40.

[Ms_Mary]

11. Me too. And it fits with the real message.

[Left Is Write]

33. That reminds me of a song.

What If Jesus Comes Back Like That
(Pat Bunch/Doug Johnson)

He came to town on an old freight train
He jumped off in the pouring rain
Everybody says he's insane
Just a low down account hobo

He made his bed beneath the county bridge
The town folks said that's not his
They signed a petition they're gonna get rid
Of that white trash low down no 'count

What if Jesus comes back like that
On an old freight train in a hobo hat
Will we let him in or turn our back
What if Jesus comes back like that
Hey what if Jesus comes back like that

Born with a habit of drug abuse
She couldn't help what her mama used
It wasn't like she got to choose
Now she's layin' there all alone

Got a monkey on her back
Nurses say they never saw a smile like that
Doctor says she might stand a chance
If somebody takes her home

What if Jesus comes back like that
Two months early and hooked on crack
Will we let him in or turn our back
What if Jesus comes back like that
Oh what if Jesus comes back like that

Nobody said life is fair
We've all got a cross to bear
When it gets a little hard to care
Just think of Jesus hanging there

He came to town on a cold dark night
A single star was his only light
The baby born that silent night
A manger for his bed

What if Jesus comes back like that
Where will he find out hearts are at
Will he let us in or turn his back
Hey what if Jesus comes back like that
Yeh what if Jesus comes back like that
Will he cry when he sees where our hearts are at
Will he let us in or turn his back
Hey what if Jesus comes back like that
Oh what if Jesus comes back like that

[datasuspect]

34. the song that inspired this post:

If Jesus Came to Your House
by Red Sovine

If Jesus came to your house, I wonder what you'd do.

Yes, if Jesus came to your house, to spend a day or two,
If He came unexpected, just dropped in on you.
I know you'd give your nicest room to such an honored guest,
And all the food you'd serve to Him would be the very best.
And you would keep assuring Him you're glad to have Him there,
That serving Him in your home is joy beyond compare.

But when you saw Him coming, would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your heavenly visitor?
Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in?
Or hide some magazines and put the Bible where they'd been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn't heard?
And wish you hadn't uttered that last loud hasty word?
And would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus just walk right in, or would you rush about?

And I wonder if the Savior spend a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?
Would you go right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?
And would your family conversation keep up it's usual pace?
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?
Would you sing the songs you always sing, and read the books you read,
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?

And would you take Jesus with you everywhere you'd planned to go?
Or maybe would you change your plans for just a day or so?
Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends,
Or hope that they would stay away until His visit ends?
And would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on?
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?

Oh, it might be interesting to know the things that you would do,
If Jesus came in person to spend some time with you.

[unblock]

12. jesus would consider himself a jew.

he did when he was alive, and looking at today's religions, he would not recognize christianity as familiar to him.

[Occulus]

13. Sit and talk.

Or, more likely, leave with Him to go out and talk.

[ExclamationPoint]

14. I would say...

Look how these people act who call themselves your name and proudly take justice out of the world. Tell them that your are ashamed they call themselves christians, and that you like the people of his own faith, Judaism better. Then I would ask him about starfishes.

[anamandujano]

15. shelter him from the repukes

[bmbmd]

16. If Jesus came to my house-

I can only imagine.
I can only imagine.

[Modem Butterfly]

17. Pay him for cutting the lawn

Jesus comes every other Thursday and cuts the grass and rakes and blows to use as mulch under the trees. Last week I was late coming home and couldn't pay him, so I owe him $75.

[Flammable Materials]

18. "Toke up, Jeeze. We need to talk." n/t

[frictionlessO]

22. yep smoke him out and throw down a munch fest, then solve

all the worlds problems.. maybe listen to some tunes... get a couple of call girl and perform some miracles...

okay just jokin' about the call girls but it would be fun to be in a menage a trois with the righteous one.

[JPace]

19. Ask him if the world is always going to be filled with pain

and if not what is going to change it?

I also want to know if he thinks all religions are to be honored or only his? When I ask this I want it recorded and played back loudly to all Christian fundamentalists.

[riverwalker]

20. Homeland Security would arrest him

before he even got to my house. He would be thrown in Gitmo for sedition. When he tipped tables and threw the moneychangers out of the temple, he was pissed at the hypocrisy and materialism. Imagine how he would react to the corruption and evil in the Whitehouse today.

[keith the dem]

21. Did not Jesus say he would Knock

and come in the form of the hungry needing to be fed, etc. The right wing Christians would have that no good lazy moocher arrested.
We have a homeless shelter in our church, I honestly believe I have seen Jesus come in that form. Every year there seems to be at least one person who will go out of their way to help at the church, to provide startling incite to the discussions in the adult Sunday school class. Is that person Jesus?, No, but they are living proof that the true message of Jesus is alive today. (A message that is almost totally opposite of the * doctrine)

[Bertha Venation]

39. Amen, Keith.

I know a homeless man named Everett. Most nights when I'm driving home, he's standing on Pennsylvania Ave. where it meets the Sousa Bridge, heading east. We give him money and sometimes food, even if we have to stop traffic to do it. No one's ever honked at us, amazingly.

THAT's Jesus. THAT's what he said to do: care for the downtrodden, the needy, the outcast. Who is more outcast in our society than the homeless?

[Misunderestimator]

23. Ask him to take his sandals off at the door.

:D

[scarlet_owl]

24. I would offer Him something to eat and drink and then tell

Him that I'm a really big fan.

[ComerPerro]

25. Invite him in, and turn the TV to TBN or 700 Club

So I could say, "Look, this is who claims to be speaking for you nowadays. This is the message they are spreading in your name. How long are you going to let this go on?"

[yellowdogintexas]

27. although this is an awesome alternative, if he came to my house

I might just do the same thing.


The scary other side is what if He is with the Jehovah's Witness ladies?

shudder

[yellowdogintexas]

26. I think there may be a good chance that I will see Him week after

next, you never know...our church will spend that week, ending on Christmas Eve, serving hot lunches to the homeless in downtown Fort Worth. I always feel that Christ is lurking in these places, amongst the truly destitute, even if only in spirit.

I don't really believe that Christ is hiding out amongst the least of these, to test us to see how we treat them because I don't think He is that petty, but I always really feel "in touch" after I have been down there serving chili and all the fixin's all you can eat to mothers with babies, old men, guys that are the right age to be VietNam vets with the resultant medical and mental problems etc etc etc.

So it makes me feel good to be a part of something that truly helps others. And please don't think I am trying to blow my own horn or anything, it is just a source of joy to be able to participate, especially after being a part of other congregations that would not even come up with the idea of doing something like this.

end of sermon and Merry Christmas to you all.

[ikojo]

28. Offer him a Mountain Dew and ask him

whether he really intended to found a new religion or merely to change Judaism?

[Bat Boy]

29. Hide him in the basement...

From the people who've been using his name. They'll be the first to try to kill him.

[johnnie]

30. I would be embarrassed and remind him that it isn't my fault

I would ask him about the Gnostic gospels and why couldn't his original message be saved.
I would then fill a couple of jugs of water and ask him to turn them in to some of that good wine.

[Chovexani]

31. Ask him what the meaning of life is

Oh, who am I kidding, this is me, we'd probably end up playing Soul Calibur 2 all day long and listening to J-Pop.

Pizza would have to be involved too.

[Renew Deal]

35. Invite him in.

Ask him if he wants something to drink. It would be interesting.

[RevCheesehead]

36. I like to think that he's already here - a member of my family.

But if we could REALLY get into conversation, I'd ask him to debunk Revelation, and ask him to sign the petition to remove shrub and cheney from the United Methodist Church.

Then I'd ask him to be definitively clear on his position re: homosexuality, and to inform the churches immediately.

Then I'd ask if he could get us Packers tickets.

[progmom]

45. Very nice, Rev.

I'm with you all the way ('cept for the Packers tix)

:toast:

[Bertha Venation]

37. invite him in, offer him a meal, talk about history

After all, he's merely a historical figure. I'd do the same with Gandhi.

[auntAgonist]

38. If Jesus came to my house ...

I'd ask him why ....



And to please bring back my Mum, and Jenny..... If he could. If ...

[ldf]

40. explain that i am atheist, but he has a great philosophy

(peace, love and all that stuff)

then introduce him to my same sex partner of 26 years and invite him to stay and help decorate the christmas tree.

maybe a little wine and some chat.

[mr blur]

41. Get stronger locks (n\t)

[CarbonDate]

42. Eat his flesh and drink his blood....

...I've been on an eternal life kick for a while, here. (John 6:54)

[nuxvomica]

44. I'd show Him my bookcase

Which was started by a professional carpenter and finished by me. He'd probably say "Bless you! No one ever talks to me about carpentry and I love carpentry." Then I'd probably ask if He wanted to go fishing and He'd probably say something like "Is the Pope Polish? I'd love to. I always liked fishing but I can almost pinpoint the day when people stopped asking me to go fishing."

[DS1]

46. Fire up a doob

and see if he changes any water to wine :-)

[Touchdown]

47. Invite him in, and see my place...

..he would say "Your a slob!" Snap his fingers and the place would be clean. If he can come over once a week, that'd be great! :evilgrin:

Ask him to change water into Guinness.

[Phentex]

48. Oh I have tons of carpentry work for him....

It would take a miracle to complete it all.

[UrbScotty]

49. Invite Him in.

He and I would talk for a little while, and maybe I'd ask Him if He'd like to speak with some of my friends and relatives over the phone.

[Cuban_Liberal]

50. Invite him in, and offer him some sherry, apple and cheese...

I'm a friendly guy.

:)