Brain Cramps

[indigobusiness]

Brain Cramps
>>
>>
>> Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I
>> would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because
>> if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but
>> we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
>> -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss U.S.A. contest.
>>
>> ``````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
>> world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like
>> that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
>> -- Mariah Carey, singer
>> `````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part
>> of your life,"
>> -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for
>> the Federal Anti-smoking Campaign.
>> ``````` ``````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
>> -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward.
>> `````````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
>> rates in
>> the country,"
>> -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
>> `````````````````````````````
>>
>> "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
>> are the President."
>> -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
>> documents.
>> `````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````
>>
>> "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
>> and I'm just the one to do it,"
>> -- A U.S. congressional candidate in Texas.
>> ````````````````````````````
>>
>> "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
>> -- Danny Ozark, manager of Philadelphia Phillies
>> ``````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.. It's the
>> impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
>> -- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
>> ```````````````````
>>
>> " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way
>> or another"
>> -- George W. Bush, U.S. President
>> ``````````````````````
>>
>> "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
>> -- former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle
>> ``````````
>>
>> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we
>> need?"
>> -- former president of American Motors, Lee Iacocca
>> ```````````
>>
>> "I was provided with additional input that was radically different
>> from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
>> -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
>> `````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy
>> like Norman Einstein."
>> -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
>> ````````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types
>> of people."
>> -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
>> `````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
>> -- former U.S.. President Bill Clinton,
>> ``````````````````
>>
>> "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
>> -- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
>> ``````````
>>
>> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."<
>> /B>
>> -- Keppel Enderbery
>> ```````````````
>>
>> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we
>> received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
>> reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
>> -- State Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
>> ````````````````````````````````````````````
>>
>> "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
>> they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the
>> night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
>> record."
>> -- Mark S. Fowler, former Federal Communications Commission Chairman

[UL_Approved]

1. Role models?

People wonder why I don't embrace popular culture...

[indigobusiness]

2. Pop Culture is the Antichrist..........Wait...

That's George Bush...isn't it? It's all so bloody confusing.

[indigobusiness]

6. Now THAT was uncalled for.

Shame on me.

[indigobusiness]

3. This one sums up the Reagan era...

>> "I was provided with additional input that was radically different
>> from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
>> -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

[babylonsister]

4. This could also apply to the humor forum!

[indigobusiness]

5. Good idea. I guess I put it in the wrong place...

I should move it.