Former WWF superstar now a conservative college speaker...

[anti_shrub]

This is hilarious, former wrestling superstar Ultimate Warrior (who legally changed his name to Warrior a while back) is now doing the college tour thing extolling the evils of liberlism.

The kicker? Warrior showed signs of mental problems toward the end of his wrestling career to the point some of his wrestling promos sounded like Wesley Willis songs. My armchair diagnosis is that he has some form of schitzophrenia that progressively grew worse as he got older.


Check out his defintion of American Conservatism, and try not to gouge your eyeballs out.


http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/060203.htm

And yes, he really does talk like that all the time.

[enigmatic]

1. He's nuts..

And has been for quite awhile. His "commentaries" on his site are unreadable..

[punpirate]

2. Sounds like a good running mate for...

... Schwarzenegger when the Repugs get that Constitutional amendment they want.... :P

[norml]

3. Lesionism?

What the Hell is that?

[madrchsod]

4. he was so loaded on roids`

he was a joke in the wrestling community. his brain is probaly fired along with his dick...

[Shadowen]

5. He writes like Bob Boudelang.

10113r5k47z.

[autorank]

6. Conservative Promotion: Welfare for Has Beens

Ultimate Warrior was a real steroid boy. He also sucked (as it were). Now he has money to live thanks to Right Wing Welfare for Has Beens. Dennis Miller, David Horowitz, Pat Boone, and the entire Republican Congressional delegation...all climbing on that Right Wing welfare train. Keeps 'em off the streets.

[Wapsie B]

7. Yup.

Fools like him are just opportunists, sucking at the teat of the conservative movement. When the pendulum swings the other way these boys are gonna have to start working street corners. But if UW was big into 'roids his healthy days are numbered. Just like a certain governator out west.

[lenidog]

8. The Ultimate Warrior!?

I remember him from when I was a kid. But real question is didn't he die? I recall reading years ago about him having a heart attack brought on by the steroids he used. Did they replace him?

[ragin_acadian]

9. nah, what happened is....be warned, i'm about

to expose you to the utter stupidity of the pro-wrestling world...this is my limited understanding of the situation:

the ultimate warrior's original name was jim helliwig. he had it legally changed to ultimate warrior...i have no clue what his motives were. anyway, he wrestled for wwf for a few years, was really hot in the pro wrestling world, at which point wcw copied the act, which promptly fell flat on it's face (the guy that copied the act was the one who died, hence the confusion). hulk hogan was hired by wcw, and to bolster wcw sales, he convinced wcw to hire ultimate warrior to create fan interest.
this was about the time of n.w.o. anyway, ultimate warrior got a seven figure contract for wrestling hogan & nwo, he started a faction called one warrior nation (o.w.n.) that included the "warrior signal" (much like the bat signal from batman, except based on the facepaint pattern the warrior wore) being beamed into the rafters of the arena they were wrestling in to "call" the warrior to the ring, and requested that trapdoors be placed in the ring so he could make spectacular entrances/exits. the trapdoor was the reason that davy boy smith AKA the british bulldog had a spine injury (suplexed on the trapdoor), became addicted to barbituates, and died about two years ago from a drug overdose. i'm not making this up.

if you do not have a line of saliva running out of your mouth and onto your chest at this point from the sheer stupidity of what i am posting....you have my admiration. this must be the intellectual equivalent of spending thanksgiving with republican relatives.

anyway, wcw realized that the ultimate warrior was....ultimately not making them any money. so they canned him. wwf didn't want him back because they were moving in a different direction that didn't include guys with dayglo paint on their face and fringy arm bands.

on top of that, wwf and wcw knew that that the artist formerly known as jim helliwig was totally nuts. he had a comic book created based on his ultimate warrior character (now his legal name) that showed him handcuffing and beating a semi-naked santa claus. (i need some friggin therapy for writing this, and you need some therapy for reading this far) in his performance, he also liked to throw out the term "destructicity" which no one to this day has any clue as to what it means, but the ultimate warrior believed that this was the mystical source of power that caused him to both legally change his name from jim helliwig...to you know what, and justify the mind numbing stupidity that plagued his on-air performance. again, i am not making this up. i could go further, but i'm nearly out of evan williams, and this is thirsty work.

so now he is the spokesperson for college conservatism. i read the page in the link from the original post: it made no sense whatsoever, and had the stability and clarity of jaegermeister jello shooters, and about the same effect.

print this post. but don't read it ever again. if any of your kids/brothers/sisters/cousins/friends come back from an ultimate warrior rally preaching the teaching of the ultimate warrior. give this to them, it should explain everything.

[underpants]

12. Yikes

Though I didn't know ALL that I did remember much of it. Nuts indeed.

[autorank]

16. Best Lounge Post Ever!!! Welcome to DU!

i always wondered what happened to davey boy. well, just goes to show you, nothing good comes from the ultimate warrior. the piece about his comic character "handcuffing and beating a semi-naked santa claus" is pure william burroughs. holy shit, this guy should be locked up.

sounds like the warrior has a cage match going on in his head. i'm sure he speaks the same language as the type of 'college conservative' recruits that show up for his sermons.

your post is not at all odd. we live in a very strange world. just think about the film 'perfect mind.' that guy's psychotic delusions are our reality...amazing stuff. wrestling makes perfect sense in a world like that. in fact, we'd be better off if vince ran the world. he'd never destroy his audience.

welcome to DU. as long as you don't disparage cats, you should fit right in.

[ragin_acadian]

22. thank you, thank you.

at this point i am going to have to cite the majority of my research:

www.wrestlecrap.com

the site is not only funnier than bossman vs. bigshow...."you have the right to remain silent...you have the right to receive a brutal bashin' from the big bossman..." it is also informative. the site creator RD Reynolds, just finished a book about the death of WCW, which should probably be hilarious and sad at the same time. they also occasionally feature warrior sightings in the mail bag: the last to see the warrior said that he ended up behind him at the Arby's drive through, with the warrior blasting his entrance theme out of his crappy rusted bronco over and over again, while probably waiting for a jamocha shake and some re-constituted unrecognizable beef product derivatives on a bun. how egotistically conservative is that?

i agree. the best part about the possibility of vince running the world would be that somehow i would end up married to victoria.

i don't have any intention on dispariging cats. wasn't it the longest continuously running broadway musical in history?

[autorank]

24. Now I have something to ask for for Xmas. Thank you

Miy wife asked me to choose between an antnique edition of Hamlet or a set of Mozart's complete symphonies. But, this will do just fine. I looked at the site and really liked that action doll of 'gene snitsky' -- now there's a commentary on our culture.

You may want Victoria but you have to be careful of the bait and switch (a Vince specialty). You may end up with Wendy Richter.

With regard to cats: you just have to avoid saying things like "I'm going to hunt down and crush every one of your 20 kitties." There is little humor about that sort of remark around here (for some unknown reason).

[qnr]

21. Welcome to DU

I won't even ask how you come by that information.

[ragin_acadian]

23. good. i had to hit the homemade kahlua when i ran out

of e.w. while finishing that post. my brain is a decaying flea market booth that no one wants to frequent because everything on display is covered in strange stains.

thanks for the welcome!

[sniffa]

25. thanks for the Link

i Love this:

http://www.wrestlecrap.com/sbt-katievick.html

[Norbert]

10. Shuddup and wrestle

Gettling political advice from the Ultimate Warrior is somewhat akin to getting psychiatric help from Charles Manson.

[mattclearing]

11. Skimming it over, does he ever say anything that means anything?

It's all babble and waltzing around the topic. Is there a point?

[necso]

13. Seems a natural progression...

particularly for the mentally ill.

Ah... My point being that it is all part of the whole.

"Professional wrestling", right wing "Pundits", coarsening fare for the masses, the debasement of our culture and the "dumbing down" of the common intellectual framework are all just facets of the same thing -- the same reality, the same agenda, the same plan -- the same master hand.

Throw in an excess of ego, limited mental gifts, too much "macho", the desire for simple solutions and the need to maintain a simplistic view of reality and you have much of the neocon phenomenon explained -- or exposed.

Throw in a an unhealthy dose of psychosis and you can begin to understand why it makes eminent sense to some people. -- and provides them with both an "occupation"... and an apparent "calling".

[BlueManDude]

14. fits right in - probably be in congress some day n/t

[MrBenchley]

15. "does not mean he will never error as he goes about doing so"

This is extremely funny...I especially love the notion that we must exhibit blind obedience to somebody's distorted vision of the past because "The Founding people of this country knew that, and knew that man’s ability to think for himself had never before in history been given its full due respect or full, unfettered freedom to operate as it could, and should."

[mark414]

17. i remember when he got locked in that coffin

by the undertaker...and everyone was frantically trying to get him out

i stopped watching wrestling when i was like 10, but man...now that i read that i kind of wished they would've just left him in there

[mitchum]

18. Well, I guess all of those kicks to his head weren't faked

Fuck that idiot has been

[PittPoliSci]

19. has he ever read any of those "documents of conservatism?"

seriously, there is nothing conservative about the declaration of independence, the US Constitution, or the Fedearlist Papers.

Is he that stupid?

[qnr]

20. Poor guy. He misspelled "Lesionism" at the very end. n/t

[Deja Q]

26. Well, as WWF stars are prone to brain damage, I'm hardly surprised by this