The DU Commune. Who are you and what can you bring to the community?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. I can teach your kids

Where are you thinking of locating this commune?

[mcscajun]

12. I can teach your kids bad habits...

and many more useful subjects.
I also cook like a champ and bake my own bread.

[Guaranteed]

37. Hmmm...whatcha gonna teach em?

You're not gonna teach em anything religious, are ya?

Or anything that undermines their belief in our Lord, thy God?

[proud2BlibKansan]

66. Strictly secular stuff

I leave it up to parents to take care of the religious teachings.

I will teach them how to read, parents decide WHAT they will read.

[RagingInMiami]

2. I can cook

And I like to make people laugh

[HEyHEY]

3. I'm a sneaky guy - I bring many things

[meganmonkey]

4. I can grow vegetables and milk cows and drive a tractor

I spent a couple years as an apprentice on an organic farm.

I really enjoy doing dishes, too, as long as I have a little buzz on. I can do them for hours.

I also have experience living on a 'commune' of sorts.

Can I come? Can I come? Can I, huh?

;)

[PittPoliSci]

5. Slow wit, but if we ever had a DU hockey team...

I'm pretty sure I could coach, because I can scream really loud and I like to criticize others.

[Longgrain]

6. An encouragement for the arts...

hearty support for all who feel ignored or disenfranchised...and, I hope, a little romance...

{Not to mention a healthy practical joke or two...got to keep this commune on it's feet}

[DS1]

7. My devastating charm, likeability, and superior debating skills

:evilgrin:

[HEyHEY]

11. That'l help when we need to get laid - we'll send DS1 to the bar

[Guaranteed]

40. Ohhh...so ya wanna debate, do ya??

Well, I'll show you. Go ahead, and...uh...say something. And I'll show you how stupid you are!!

:P

[SarahB]

8. Lots of stuff.

I can be a labor coach and am great in knowing what to do postpartum (baby care, breastfeeding). If you want to get really crunchy and granola, I know how to effectively teach natural family planning by observation of basal temperature and cervical fluid. I am professionally certified in CPR and first aid. I'm a good cook. I can grow things. I can teach young children (taught reading, taught Gymboree, taught Sunday School). I can sew.

Most of DU does not realize I am a total domestic goddess, but I'd be an asset to any commune. :D

[Guaranteed]

42. Cervical fluid?

Nahh. We're not gonna allow that in the commune. :)

[SarahB]

49. You can tell whether you're ovulating (or about to) by the texture.

Seriously. I'm a mom and going into nursing, so I'm comfortable with all this bodily stuff. :shrug:
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/4/1680_51216?src=Inktomi&condition=Health%20Topics%20A-Z

I have nothing against standard birth control, but sometimes women don't want hormonal things in their bodies (like if they're nursing a baby) and this works well when both methods are followed. You can use a barrier method during the "dangerous times", but this way you don't have to deal with it (condoms for instance) all the time (assuming monogamy).

[Guaranteed]

54. Alright, all the women can just hang out together and

compare cervical fluids. :P

If you see anything REALLY out of the ordinary, like, uh, any Alien type stuff, let us guys know.

[candy]

9. I'm a grammy----I'll babysit but I'll never cook!!!

[Guaranteed]

45. That's good enough

for me!!

As long as SarahBelle's got a nice, big bag of cervical fluid...:P

[Muzzle Tough]

10. I will bring my big appetite and a bad case of gas.

It's a commune! From each according to his ability, and I have the ability to eat and to fart!

[Fenris]

13. Do you need a messiah/theocrat?

If so, I can help.

[Droopy]

14. I'm a trucker

About the only thing I can bring to the community is a strong back which could be put to work doing manual labor. And I have an agreeable personality.

[bowens43]

15. I'm a Geek and a raging Liberal

[Placebo]

16. You so wouldn't want me there.

[yardwork]

53. Of course we would want you there!

My role would be encouraging the young people to feel appreciated!

I can't cook or do anything else that is very useful, but I laugh a lot.

[RagingInMiami]

17. So what do you bring to the commune, SemiCharmedQuark?

[HEyHEY]

18. Please o please say sexual favours

What's a commune without a little hanky panky?

[Deja Q]

23. Ahem.

That's where I come in! :crazy:

Okay, I really am not a slut. I just play one in cyberspace. :D </Paul Lynde mode>

[SemiCharmedQuark]

21. A hatred of Football?

Depends...in a few years God willing, I'll be done with vet school. I can operate then...er...humans, dogs, same thing.

Also, I don't mind hard work. I like the feeling of working hard and seeing the fruits of one's labor at the end of the day. I tend to keep to myself, live and let live, and I guess that is good. I don't particularly have any affinity for material goods. As long as I have my cats, Im happy. :)

[Guaranteed]

48. This is our King of Simpson's Trivia.

Or didn't you know, infidel?

[ZombieNixon]

19. I can cook and do stand up.

Also, I'm Jesus (second coming).

[Deja Q]

20. Awesome question. Here am I and may I qualify!

I am a photojournalist in training with a good eye, gfx designer, computer specialist, great sense of humor, am very good in bed, can cook (haven't sent anybody to the ER yet), have a half-eye for interior design, eclectic, eccentric, loyal, friendly, cheerful (aka Rose Nylund), and can tolerate noise.

I'm also philosophical, but that keeps me from doing anything else. And trust me, I'm better at everything else. :D

[kodi]

22. i can set a bad example for the youth

don't laugh, its not as easy as you think.

[LeftyMom]

24. I'd run the diaper service and laundry

I actually like doing laundry. :)

[Wapsie B]

25. I'll clean the bathrooms!

Someone's gotta do it. That and maybe some tasty barbeque.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

27. And a good handwash in between?

:P

[Wapsie B]

35. Sure!

I always wash my hands once a week whether they need it or not.

:P

[EstimatedProphet]

77. You're gonna clean barbecue?

[EstimatedProphet]

26. I can raise fish, make beer/wine, distill

and I cook a mean set of baby back ribs!

[flamingyouth]

28. Massage!

Who's first? :D

[name not needed]

29. Every commune needs angry, disillusioned youth!

:D

[Deja Q]

30. And they need to be good in bed too!

Gotta keep the population up! :crazy:

[BlueJazz]

31. I'll do/help with the repair and maintenance of Electronics

..and dig ditches if it needs doing.....

[underpants]

32. Leadership. Hard work. You know where I stand.

Is that working for anyone at the commune?

[WMliberal]

33. I've got debt!

and I can cook. I'm clean. Good landscaper. Well-dressed. Come to think of it.... I'd be the DU commune Stepford Wife with a penis.

[Guaranteed]

34. That is an AWESOME question, Semi...

I'd say that I'm a real intelligent type of guy. I'ma gonna be an ATTORNEY! YEAH!

But, of course, attorneys are about a dime a dozen around here, so I guess I'll just have to be the ass-kisser (see post title). :P

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. I am licensed to cut hair and appraise things.

:hi:

[warrens]

38. The record collection. GOTTA have a big record collection, and...

I'll write the manifestos. GOTTA have manifestos. And I'll eat the vegetarians' share on Blood Red Rare T-Bone Steak Nights.

[Solly Mack]

39. I can cook, sew & fix things around the house

I know how to grow both flowers and vegetables.
I've taught Headstart, worked in ICU, as well as geriatrics.
I can teach arts and crafts.
I can refinish furniture.

[fluffernutter]

41. um, cuteness?

oh and i'm a helluva cook too ;)

[Longgrain]

43. I might make a good Mailman...

;)

[Guaranteed]

47. There's never enough cuteness.

:9

Or grub.

[sans qualia]

44. I'm a professional wandering prophet

I also take orders very well.

[underpants]

46. Good! We are going to need that

Now go fetch some water

[sans qualia]

50. Yes sir

Here's Crater Lake.

[underpants]

52. OOH! lots of buckets there

I am quitting smoking in .........er........about an hour and a half and going as "natural" as I can. No smoke (store bought) No booze and an incredible physical regiment.

[Guaranteed]

57. Yes...that will work perfectly.

Three jobs down, 8,964 to go...

[proud patriot]

51. I'm an earlychildcare professional

so I'd be happy to watch the kiddies

My husband works with metal shapping it by hand .

[datasuspect]

55. conduct interactions with "The Man"

and i can roll joints all day long

[meganmonkey]

63. 10 years ago my fantasy career was to roll joints all day long

for the members of Phish.

:P

[datasuspect]

68. that would have been

an interesting career track

[meganmonkey]

72. Well, they broke up this year anyway. So I'd have gotten fired by now.

Such a shame. :eyes:

[yardwork]

56. Having read all the threads so far - I want to be in this commune!

It sounds like a wonderful group.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

58. We shall be the fattest commune ever.

What with all the good cooks on this thread! I don't suppose we have a cardiac surgeon in the house?

[fluffernutter]

60. lol, well, my father is one, i'll bring him too.

[davsand]

59. I can mix a wicked drink and pour a great beer.

I figure THAT should be an asset to any commune.

I'm also a pretty good cook in large quantities or small ones. My chili is famous from here to across the road, along with my gumbo and my meatloaf!

Oh--and did I remember to mention I can call a pretty good game of Bingo OR value your real estate for property tax purposes?

Can I please move in?

Laura

[meganmonkey]

64. I can get people who 'don't drink tequila' to do shots with me!

It's kind of a gift.

[RagingInMiami]

65. That's my kind of girl!

:toast:

[zeemike]

61. I can fix your appliances

Or farm equipment, but not your car

[Left Is Write]

62. I'm a good cook and good with kids.

[underpants]

67. Well....we are going to have to reproduce

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=2193477

[SemiCharmedQuark]

73. Congratulations!!!

Big congrats to you and Mrs. Pants! Maybe your little one can grow up along side Dr. Weird's coming bundle of joy. Hell, maybe one day they'll get married. Mr and Mrs. Weirdpants.

[short bus president]

69. Nobody can scaver as cromulently as I can.

Certainly you'll want me on the commune.

[FizzFuzz]

70. I'm not nearly the bitch that I appear to be online.

Also, I play harmonica.

And I'm fluent in American Sign Language.

I have good grammar and I'm a good speller.

I usually remember to trim my nosehairs.

And I can knit, though I don't recycle the nosehairs.

Dang, I'm usefull as hell!

[Porcupine]

71. I can build, a house, a boat or a kiln, also...

I have been a massage therapist, a professional cook, plant and maintain an organic garden and orchard. Hmm, throw a pot, make mugs and plates, raise bees, train dogs and raise kids. I've actually done all of these things although none of them will make you much money.

I have been part of the development of a cohousing community. I currently maintain rental properties for a living. Oh, and I'm single if anyones asking. I just can't stand the endless meetings.

[AngryLizard]

74. I'm a wedding and event planner

I can, uh, help you plan your wedding or special event.
I also read a lot, so I could read for you. Or something.

[chaska]

75. Okay guys and dolls, bad news...

A commune is not all fun and games. We have to take this seriously. There will be some less than desirable jobs.

And what I need to know right now is, who is going to be in charge of bathing the hippies? Cause I'm not going to live with a buncha smelly hygienically challenged individuals ... again.

[Schema Thing]

76. Photographic skills, Fixit/buildit skills, an artist eye, and...

....a curmudgeonly attitude.

Sheeesh, on review, I think I'd suck as a communist.

[Porcupine]

78. You're too usefull to have a trust fund....

the most popular intentional community members always have trust funds.

[yellowdogintexas]

79. I am also a good cook, there are enough of us that we can

share the meal planning very well. I have lots of experience in cooking for large groups, too.

My best thing is really good homemade cakes and other desserts, so I can bake. I might even learn to make piecrust again.

My hubby who would have to come along makes mighty damn fine homemade ice cream, hand cranked!

My daughter is an artist and can tattoo and pierce you. Somebody has to take care of that!

We have a large book collection, lots of CD's and movies too. So we could run the library area in our spare time.

Oh yeah, hubby is a petroleum geologist so he could find oil in the commune and provide the fund for upkeep that way!

I don't keep house very well, somebody else will have to do that.

Oh yeah, I'm good with kids, love to rock babies, can coach a mom who is starting breastfeeding, and love helping kids discover the joys of reading.

I can also figure out if our medical insurance is being processed correctly!!!! And argue with the insurance company if it isn't.

ON Edit: I can also oversee the March Madness bracket pool! As a native of Kentucky who has also lived in Indiana I am officially a basketball nut. (organized religion in those states, folks)

[enigmatic]

80. Lotsa things:

I play guitar, sing, write songs, make moonshine, and own a radio station.

And I'm so laid-back my wife puts a mirror under my nose every so often to see if I'm still breathing.

That's got to count for something...

[Phentex]

81. I can discuss books with you and walk your dogs

and walk for a cause and protest as needed.

[twenty2strings]

82. I am a domestic god!...

I can cook,clean,change diapers,plant trees,give music lessons,reroof your house,give great massages,remodel your house,make coffee in the morning,sort socks,tune up your car,and make love even when I'm not in the mood. All of this comes with a smile and a cheery disposition. And I clean up well!:grouphug:

[Frogtutor]

83. I am multi-talented...

Certified and degreed elementary teacher-reading specialist

Bookkeeping/accounting skills

Skilled shopper

Fabulous organizational skills

Various other talents too numerous to mention...

And, if I don't know how to do it already, I can learn it in a flash!!