Pregnancy over 35: Please tell me your experiences!

[Frogtutor]

Ok, I'm approaching my 38th birthday, and I'm seriously thinking of having another child. My only other child is 12. I understand that there are a lot more risk factors during pregnancy and child birth for women over 35, but I only know one person who's experienced it. If you (or someone you know) has had a child after the age of 35, please tell me what your experience was like.

Thanks in advance!

:)

[notadmblnd]

1. I was 34 if that counts?

I had no problems at all. No toxiema, no diabetes, no huge weight gain (that came after). But I do have to say, there were many times I thought I waited too long and was to old to keep up. But I've managed and have an 11 yr old son who's making me proud.

[Frogtutor]

3. Close enough! Thanks! n/t

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I was 38

when my youngest was born. Very few problems. PM me for details if you wish.

[The empressof all]

4. My mother had me at 39

She had my sister at 44. (What a pleasant suprise) We turned out great and she had no complications. If you are relatively healthy-follow your heart.

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

5. Clues in your family history as to your future...

I come from a long line of late-breeders and many in my family have had multiple children after 35...even up to 45. If anything, our fertility seems to increase and, fortunately, no genetic problems or difficult pregnancies. For peace of mind, I do recommend some form of genetic testing, whether it be a simple AFP blood test with sono, or the slightly riskier CVS and amnio. I had my first child after I turned 35.

[bobo4u]

6. My wife had our first at 40...

Needed fertility treatments to get pregnant. That's why so many older couples have twins, triplets, etc.

I remember having a cold for the first two years. One right after another. Thought I was going to die. I think it was a lack of sleep.

No regrets. We have a wonderful son who is the focus of our lives.

[XNASA]

7. Mrs. XNASA had our second child at 37.

She had our first at 34.

No complications. Labor lasted only about 90 minutes compared to 12 hours with the first one.

She pushed twice and out came James.

She had no problems at all.

In fact, given the problems that the missus has had over the years with migranes and high blood pressure.....it's too bad she couldn't be pregnant more often. She was always at her healthiest when she was expecting. Honestly, she's a beautiful woman, but she was just radiant when she was with child.

[Rambis]

8. As long as you are healthy...

My wife had #1 at 34, number 2 at 36 and the Dr. says 39 or 40 is not a problem for number 3. My mother had me when she was 44 years old and that was in the 1960's so good luck.

[texastoast]

9. Stay in shape

I had my second child at almost 39. Labor was easier, shorter. I used a midwife in a hospital setting. No drugs. No trouble.

Understand that you will be about 56 or 57 when your child graduates from high school. Don't let your spirit, heart or body get old. They are a lot to keep up with and you will be two generations apart.

[Debbi801]

10. I was 38...

The only issue I had with this pregnancy compared to my earlier two--my blood pressure went up. It got high enough that they put me on bed rest for the last trimester. But, it is hard to say how much of that was my age or whether it was due to my very stressful job. :-)

I didn't gain a huge amount of weight, I didn't have to deliver early (I actually went a week late), and everything else was smooth as silk.

I did opt to have CVS during the first trimester. That was a relatively easy procedure, too.

That being said, there are times when I feel too old to chase my almost 3 yr old around. He is by far, the most energetic and high strung of all 3 of my kids. But, I wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world.

Debbi

[burn the bush]

11. my friend had 2 ater 40 with no problems

I think down syndrome is the number one concern with the later pregs and it can be tested for to see if the baby will have it. All pregnancy's run the risk of downs but it is increased after age 40.

[Pachamama]

12. I had a difficult time - but don't let that discourage you...Be aware of

the risks (ie. downs syndrome risk rates etc. increasing, difficulty in getting pregnant etc.) and make the right choice for you.

I had my first child at 32 and then I got pregnant last year at 38. I had 3 miscarriages in between and had a hard time getting pregnant. When I did get pregnant on my second (and last child) last year, I was suddenly sick as a dog within the first 3 weeks - and I'm not talking the usual morning sickness. Turns out I had a condition called "Hyperemises" - didn't have that on the first one. Was throwing up every 10 minutes and ended up passing out collapsing of de-hydration and was rushed to the hospital. In all, I was sick like that for 7+ months of my pregnancy and was hospitalized a total of 5 times. They had to put me on home nursing care and had IV's with Hydration and a medication administered intravenously called Anzemet every 4 hours...that drug atleast made the throwing up go from every 10 minutes to every few hours. Eventually, when I was down to 90 lbs (my normal weight is 120) and I was 4 1/2 months pregnant, they put a "Pick IV" line in me, which is a permanent IV inserted and threaded up towards the heart so they could feed me intravenously.

The good news is that I delivered a healthy baby girl 9+ pounds...no problems...even delivered her naturally....but I can guarantee you, I will never be pregnant again...it was bar none, the worst experience of my life....

[DemBones DemBones]

25. Just don't forget, Frogtutor, that something like this can happen to a

20-something mother, too. Something very similar happened to a friend's young daughter a couple of years ago and she was miserable. It's not common but thank goodness you came through it with a healthy 9 pound baby, Pachamama! My friend's grandchild was also born healthy and continues to be so, and you can bet he's their last child, too!

[Pithlet]

35. My mom was 18 when she had me, and had that problem

Threw up so many times that she ended up in the hospital on IV. I was scared to death that was going to happen to me. I was in my late twenties. It didn't; I had run of the mill morning sickness. But, I did have preeclampsia both times. So, there are risks to mothers of all ages.

[SarahB]

36. I had that hypermesis too with my first.

I was only 20 when she was born. My grandmother had it really bad and she also had children in her 20's. Sometimes, it just happens. :(

[MrsMatt]

13. When I was 38

I was also looking to have another child. Four unsucessful years, and a full infertility work-up later, I'm finally pregnant (only 9 weeks, but so far so good - I'm keeping my fingers crossed). As I'm just going through this now, I can't give you personal practical advice, but I have done a fair amount of research so I am very cognizant of the risks involved (miscarriage, Down's syndrome, high blood pressure, pre-term birth, etc.). We'll probably elect to do the triple screen test, but no amnio.

You may want to decide rather quickly if indeed you do want another child, because it may not be easy to conceive. I had very little trouble with my first (at 34) and never suspected that we'd have the trouble we did.

Good luck!

[Frogtutor]

30. Congratulations, I'm so happy for you! n/t

[Crowdance]

14. I was 37 with my youngest

I did suffer from gestational diabetes with him, which was a bit of a pain. I had to restrict my calories to 1700 a day, aportioned over 24 hours. So, I had to awaken to eat something in the middle of the night. Also, both my age and condition meant I spent a lot more time at the obstetrician than with my first two. They ran frequent blood work, frequent ultrasounds, stress tests, etc. My son, though beautiful and brilliant, is profoundly dyslexic; it's possible the diabetes had something to do with that--no one is sure.

However, I should say that I felt GREAT the whole pregnancy, even more so than with the first two. And he is the light of my life. If you have other questions, I'd be happy to talk.

[KitchenWitch]

15. I was 37

I have had some medical issues all my life, so it was not a surprise that I had a few problems in both my pregnancies (One at age 27 and one at age 37). I had gestational diabetes for both pregnancies, the second one I needed to be on insulin.

I am a survivor of cancer (Hodgkins disease when I was 22) so I think many of my problems can be attributed to that.

For my last pregnancy, I had to be on bed rest for about 9 weeks starting late first trimester, due to what they thought was placenta previa. The placenta moved up during the third trimester, so I was taken off bedrest, but then had to have non stress tests twice a week, due to the diabetes.

Gestational diabetes does seem to affect older mothers, so you will want to get screened and checked rather closely.

I had an amneocentesis during the period that I was on bedrest, and all came out well, there is a higher chance of genetic anomalies (such as Down Syndrome) when you get pregnant at an older age, and I think it is good to get checked for those things, so you have some time to prepare.

Hope this is helpful

[TNDemo]

16. My 48-year-old best friend has a 1-year-old.

This was definitely a surprise as she has kids in high school and I held the crying rag for her through the whole pregnancy. He has been absolutely healthy and fine and is even going to the potty now at 19 months. Mine never trained that early, even the girls. My husband's mother was 42 when he was born. You're not too old.

[DebinTx]

17. 1st at 35, second at 37

With the second one I had an amniocentesis done. Both kids were fine, labor 4 hours with number 1 and 2 hours with the second. Did have a tad of gestational diabetes with the second one but just kept an eye on my eating.

[Left Is Write]

18. I was 35 when my youngest was born.

I really didn't have any problems (I had more trouble with my pregnancy at age 32/33), although there was a few weeks when I thought there was a possibility the baby was hydrocephalic due to a slightly abnormal ultrasound measurement. The next ultrasound seven weeks later put those fears to reast, so that really had nothing to do with my age. I skipped the AFP (triple screen) with each of my two younger children (and it wasn't offered with my oldest), because it's not a test. It's only a screen to see if further testing is warranted. Older women frequently come up with high possibilities for Down's and neural tube defects with the triple screen, and they go on either to worry themselves sick about it or have amniocentisis or, at the least, a level 2 ultrasound. The risk of miscarriage with amnio was too great for my comfort, so I skipped the AFP. I knew the results could be skewed due to my age, and I wasn't going to have amnio. I *was* having a level 2 ultrasound anyway, so I saw no use for the AFP screen. I think it would have resulted in needless worry for me.

I am 38 now. If I were to have another child, this time I would do amniocentisis (meaning I'd skip the AFP again, because I'd be having amnio anyway).

[tigereye]

19. Had my first and only at 38

didn't have any complications other a slightly complex delivery. We heard all the genetic scare stories and decided not to have the CVS, amnio or any of that. Women in my family tend to have kids late in life. You are more tired but wiser, in some ways, and research indicates that older moms kid's tend to have higher IQs, or so another older mom told me. :)

Good luck.

[radwriter0555]

20. I know a woman who became pregnant but 4 months in discovered

catastrophic deformities which forced them to make a very critical decision to terminate the pregnancy.

They then became pregnant again and have had a lovely little boy going on 2 years old.

Thank goodness for such amazing medical and technical procedures to spare us such agony and heartbreak and to provide us with such joy!

[Bozita]

21. try this link to a professional journal on the topic

http://www.greenjournal.org/cgi/content/abstract/85/1/65


Pregnancy outcome in nulliparous women 35 years and older.

[Chalco]

22. I was 44 when I had my first child...

she's now 12.

Pregnancy was fine. Parenting while older I think is better because we have more perspective. I have more patience and I'm less selfish.

I recommend it highly.

[Nikia]

23. My mother had her youngest at 40

She got gestational diabetes, but other than that she was fine. She did have testing done, but planned to have the baby anyway if it had Down's syndrome or another non fatal disability. She had no trouble conceiving, but everyone is different.

[DemBones DemBones]

24. My mother was 35 during her last pregnancy more than fifty years ago

and had no problems, though she did have twins -- multiple births are more common in older mothers.

My dad's mother was over 40 during her last pregnancy and that was over 75 years ago. No twins for her, though.

There were plenty of other "older" mothers decades ago and you know it's much safe today. I know several women who've had their first child at 35 or later. If you want it, go for it!

My second pregnancy was at age 31, when my first child was 8, but it turned out to be ectopic so we just have the one child. Until I lost the baby, it was exciting to be older and pregnant. You naturally feel more like you know what you're doing the second time and I always loved being pregnant. Sometimes I truly regret not having tried again after that, despite the much increased risk for me of another ectopic pregnancy. When your kids grow up and move away, the more kids you have to visit, the better, you know? With just one, and her having to visit her in-laws, we don't see her as much as we'd like. They were here at Thanksgiving but will spend Christmas with his family.

Just see your gynecologist first and make sure your health is tip top is all I'd advise. He or she can answer your questions on what to expect, too.

[Left Is Write]

26. Actually, my grandmother had late pregnancies too -

Especially considering the times. She was 33 when my mother was born in 1939 and 39 when my uncle was born.

[DemBones DemBones]

29. Yep, it's funny for people to make such a big deal about

"older mothers." There have always been "older mothers," and without medical intervention like fertility drugs and in vitro fertilization.

It IS harder to keep up with a toddler when you're forty, though. Any young grandmother will tell you that. But think how young it makes you feel! Another woman I know was well up into her forties when she gave birth to her last child back in the early seventies. They were a little embarrassed about the late pregnancy but it worked out fine, despite her health problems -- and we saw that "baby" and his wife in a restaurant yesterday. Makes me feel old, but they enjoyed that child, beginning with the shocked looks the grey-haired husband got when other hospital nursery visitors asked "Which one's your grandchild?" and he replied "That one is my son." ;-) He was so proud!

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

32. My grandmother was 37 when she had my mom

back in 1952. My mom was number 5 of 6 children. She, of course, came out just fine. My grandmother's last child was severely mentally retarded. She lives in a nursing home today (my aunt, not my grandmother). I don't remember how old my grandmother was when she had her last one, probably about 40, maybe older. Of course doctors can test for a lot of things during the pregnancy now, that they couldn't back then.

[Placebo]

27. My mother had me when she was in her 30's

She and I turned out fine. :)

Her labor went really smoothly, it lasted only 2 hours. But I was 2 weeks overdue, and weighed 9lbs 10oz

[Ilsa]

28. Age 41: I fatigue more easily, both during and after the pregnancies.

I had my first at age 38 1/2, second at age 41. I had wonderful breastfeeding experiences both times. Recovery was a little more exhausting. And I used to work out all the time before I had kids.

If you decide to screen for Advanced Maternal Age related genetic factors, it is a little nerve-racking. The procedure is usually low risk, but make sure the amnio is preformed by someone who has done lots and lots of them, not someone who does them occasionally.

Also, they can test for cystic fibrosis which is more common in caucasians.

Feel free to PM me.

[Book Lover]

31. I was 34, but other than

a predisposition to gestational diabetes which did not occur, the doc gave me a clean bill of health. Labor was only 28-or-so hours altogether, too. My mom was 36 when she had me in the 60s, and she didn't have any problems, either. My best advice is to get as fit as possible before you get pregnant, but you probably already know that.

Best of luck!

[barb162]

33. I know a woman who had her 8th and last at 43. She is 85 now

[Sequoia]

34. Mine was okay

Had the baby at 40 but labor was long and had to do that icky amnio thing. Now of course, my kid tells me how her classmates have grandmothers my age, not moms like me. Heh, heh.

Go for it! Just make sure you're near a bathroom at all times since the kidneys are pretty flimsy. We are so happy with our first and only bundle, it was like Christmas every day for a long time. I miss her being a snuggle bug baby sometimes.

[SarahB]

37. 35 isn't a big deal.

Even at 40, it might get a little tougher to conceive, but the genetic risks aren't too terrible. I think past 45, the risk for Down's Syndrome becomes about 1 in 12. I had my children in my 20's and I'm almost 33 (and most likely done), but I haven't completely closed off my options either in different circumstances. If I were in a situation where I did, I'd probably be closer to 40, but I think 40 would be my personal cutoff whether I had another one or not. I wouldn't want the risks after that myself.

[yellowdogintexas]

38. first and only pregnancy at 36..everything went well, and

baby was fine and healthy. No problems.
I was not ready for a child in my life until that point. So it was best for me.

FWIW, my mom was 36 when my youngest sister was born, and my motherinlaw was 41 when her youngest son was born.

These days it isn't that unusual to have babies after age 35.

[n2mark]

39. I was 38

My daughter is doing fine, I was doing great during my pregnancy -- the doctors were always watching over me. You should not have a problem as long as you are in good health and have healthy genes. Really, I had no problem but had more check ups then the usual pregnant woman. Eat healthy, take your vitamins and exercise, that is my advice to you

[fortyfeetunder]

40. Mama at 40

I ended up getting the roto-rooter treatment to get a tube unplugged, and I got pg within a month. I won't bore you with the details of labor, etc...

It's been an interesting life. I can keep up with him and he's been fun at every age. And I was at the stage of my life where I had accomplished much what I wanted to do, my career was well established and had no regrets of what I might miss out on with kids. It's now a different kind of fun.

[MediumBrownDog]

41. Another Mama at 40

Ditto on the career thing, I had been there and done that and was ready. My son is 4 months old and every moment with him is a joy. I know that I would not have enjoyed motherhood in my 20's. Waiting was a great thing for us -- we worked and traveled all over the world, and now staying home with the baby is the only thing we want to do!

[fortyfeetunder]

46. I agree - 20's was not maternal years for me either

I babysat my nephews in my 20's, and I called them 60 lbs of birth control. It took me about 15 years to even consider trying to get pg. While I was in that phase, I traveled, and did my life dreams...

OTOH, my kid acts like my nephews...I guess I am not prepared for that.

[LiberteToujours]

42. My mom was 35 when she had me

And besides the whole extra arm, I turned out just fine!

[Frogtutor]

47. LOL; who couldn't use an extra arm? n/t

[davsand]

43. Material Girl was born when I was 37.

She's our only and a huge gift to us. I can't EVEN imagine her not being part of our lives...

My pregnancy was not a normal one--but it was an issue peculiar to me, rather than anything related to my age (at least that is what the docs told me when they said "Don't do it again--EVER!")

I actually lost a small amount of weight during my pregnancy, and felt fine except for the acid indigestion that began within about fifteen minutes of conception. I did have a runny nose the whole time too--Pregnancy Rhinitus is what they called it. I have since then realized it was the beginning of allergies for me, but it is quite manageable.

Being an older Mom is kinda fun--you are in a great position to enjoy your kid in ways that a lot of the younger set can't or won't. Something else that came with that late pregnancy was the realization that after about 35 you CAN wear elastic waistbands and flat heels and nobody gives a rip. It is quite liberating!


Laura

[Shadowen]

44. Someone I knew *only* got pregnant after 35.

Sadly, I don't know much about it. Other than the fact that I remember a bright light and a man in white slapping me.

I'm the youngest kid of a woman who had her first child at 36.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

45. i was 42 when i had my last and it was easy

[Frogtutor]

48. Thank you all so much!

I've enjoyed reading your posts, and they have all been very encouraging.

I think all I need now is decent health insurance...

Thanks again!

:grouphug: