Do you believe in closure?

[TufNeck]

I feel that it is not healthy, if the only way you can deal with a sad situation is to completely get rid of anything having to do with it.

Do you have closure?

[StopTheMorans]

1. apparently not with the new wonderbras released in England

they keep coming undone :evilgrin:

[TufNeck]

2. Don't joke around with a heartbroken man with no closure

[StopTheMorans]

3. hey, it allowed you to kick your thread

so it can't be all bad, right :silly:

[TexasBushwhacker]

4. I don't think closure means completely getting rid of anything

I think closure is more about accepting the situation and processing ALL your feelings about it. For example, I had a friend, Norm. We used to teach in classrooms across from each other, but he transferred to another school and I only saw him a couple of times a year during inservice. We would always sit together and "catch up". We, one year he died suddenly of a heart attack (age 39!). His funeral was out of town and I didn't go. The next time there was an inservice, I just automatically looked for him just for a few seconds, and then of course, the grief came over me again.

So the next time I had a friend die (she was killed by a drunk driver) I forced myself to go to the wake. It was an open casket, which normally I think is kind of morbid, but since my friend had died so young, I think it gave us some "closure" and helped us accept that yes, she was gone. Although I was a total mess at there and for a few days after, later I could talk about her freely with other mutual friends, look at pictures of her, etc.

[LynzM]

5. Closure, yes. Purging, no.

I don't feel that I need to get rid of everything to be ok with a situation. I don't know if you're talking about the end of a romantic relationship or a death (or something else), but for me, I keep things... that way, eventually, I can go back to the happy parts of a relationship once I am able to. I'm having a tough time right now because my husband's grandma just died, and I can't go to the wake or funeral. I think it's going to be very hard to go out to his parents' house after Christmas, as she lived next door, and try to process her not being there... so I think some form of closure can be very helpful to dealing with sad situations.

[Deja Q]

6. Closure, no. Denial and avoidance, yes.

Lots of people do it this way.

[ernstbass]

7. Closure is in your head

not in what's around you. Sorry you're hurting so bad.

[sadinred]

8. I agree. It's hard though to deal with all the feelings.

:eyes:

I know I aim for closure, I try to push all thoughts and feelings away. But it doesn't really work. Best to let it happen, and have acceptance instead of closure, eventually. Besides there are always good memories and lessons learned etc that are worth holding on to, or at least worth valuing.

Sometimes seeking closure is a way of hanging on too though.

[TufNeck]

9. Thanks

I've accepted it. Basically, I'd like to tell her off. Is that so bad?
:evilgrin:

[sadinred]

10. Well I say go with the heart not the head so

you do what what you feel! As long as it's honest, so be it!
Of course I get myself into trouble often.
O8)

[Rambis]

11. If it means that Oprah and Dr. whats his face perish?

I like the closure the closure is good:)

[Cadence]

12. I believe closure

is feeling all of your feelings and processing the experience. Allowing yourself to feel is key to moving through experiences and acceptance. "Trying" to put it somewhere in your mind or blocking your feelings will only draw the experience out.

I'm sorry it hurts. :hug: