This Message Is NEW and IMPROVED...

[arwalden]

... it comes with a 30-Day Guarantee. If you're not satisfied with it for any reason, you may return it for a full refund. No questions asked.

[StopTheMorans]

1. Hi Allen, I'm not satisfied with this message. May I return it for a full

refund? :shrug:

[arwalden]

7. Of Course You May.

Service with a smile. :-)

[StopTheMorans]

8. Thanks!

:D

[Fenris]

2. Who is the pretty lady in your avatar?

:hi:

[arwalden]

9. That is Hedy Lamarr

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001443/

[mr_hat]

11. HED-ley!

[trotsky]

12. Count De Money?

n/t

[arwalden]

25. Don't Get Saucy With Me, Bernaise!

[trotsky]

I want double my money back.

Pay up!

[arwalden]

10. Okay... Gladly. Enclosed, please find your double-refund.

[BurtWorm]

3. I 'd like to speak with the manager please.

:nuke:

[arwalden]

13. Okay...

Please proceed to the following URL:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=send_mesg&u_id=100801

[Misunderestimator]

4. I think you are overly confident in the quality of your product...

:) :hi:

[arwalden]

14. We've Tested It Many Times...

... and although it's not perfect, it has proved itself to be reliable and well-liked by the majority of readers.

We appreciate it when readers such as yourself take the time to let us know your opinion as it helps us to improve future versions.

[Misunderestimator]

21. Ok... Now you're scaring me...

[arwalden]

24. LOL!

Creepy, huh?

[kmla]

But, if I find a message for a lower price...

... do I get the difference back, PLUS 10%?

I don't wanna overspend for a good message, you understand.

[arwalden]

15. Absolutely! But It Cannot Be An "In-House" Sale On One-Of-A-Kinds

... remainders or scratch-n-dents. It must be an advertized price on an item that's available in quantity to the public before we'll price match and refund 10% of the difference.

[AlCzervik]

5. What if I used some of it?

[arwalden]

16. Return It Anyway... We Have A Shrink Wrap Machine...

and we'll repackage it and sell it again as though it were new. Nobody will be the wiser.

[AlCzervik]

19. Ok, just so you know, it gave me a rash.

[arwalden]

22. Yes, We've Seen That Before

... and we regret any inconvenience it may have caused you.

[LynzM]

6. If it's new, how can it also be improved???

:crazy: :silly: :crazy:

[arwalden]

17. I See Your Point... But It's "New" Because It's A New Formula...

and it's "Improved" because it's better than the previous formula.

[kmla]

18. Ooooh. An oxymoran.

Aren't you clever.

:)

[arwalden]

26. Oxymoran is a laundry detergent, isn't it?

[XNASA]

20. Where do you put in the batteries?

[arwalden]

23. Thank You For Asking Sir!... That's One Of The Improvements!!

It needs NO BATTERIES!! It's a bargain at twice the price.