Is it shallow to buy yourself flowers?

[CornField]

I like fresh flowers and my husband isn't much of a romantic. I often pick up bouquets at the market and make table centerpieces. My mother-in-law came over today and really got in my face about it -- she found it shallow. "The flowers don't mean anything if you have to buy them for yourself. It's just selfish!"

[Left Is Write]

1. Of course not! What does she mean, they don't "mean" anything?

They mean you enjoy having fresh flowers around the house. Who cares how you got them? MIL needs a clue.

[LawDem]

2. Shallow no. Pathetic, maybe

*

[bettyellen]

10. Pathetic? Because a man didn't buy them? Is this the stoneage?

[donheld]

25. It could be a man buying himself flowers

some men aren't too proud to admit to liking flowers.

[Amaya]

13. Why is it pathetic?

Sheesh! :eyes:

[AlCzervik]

17. Wow, thats harsh, really.

:eyes:

[Left Is Write]

23. Wait a minute. What on earth is pathetic about buying flowers for oneself?

Some people really like to have fresh flowers around the house. Do you think flowers can only be used as a romantic gesture from one person to another?

Having fresh flowers around is a pick-me-up in a lot of ways: their color, their scent, their beauty. Why would it be pathetic to treat oneself to that enjoyment? I think what would be pathetic would be to deprive yourself of the pleasure of fresh flowers because you have to wait for someone else to GIVE them to you. :eyes:

[Dorian Gray]

26. I buy fresh flowers all the time

for our apartment. I don't send them to myself, but I buy them for our home to make it cosy and fresh! I love flowers, and I love to have them around all the time! I don't think there's anything pathetic about it, at all!!!

[Nite Owl]

3. It means you get joy from

seeing flowers. Are you supposed to punish yourself waiting for them?

[flamingyouth]

4. I buy them all the time for myself

Sometimes my parents get me some, but I like to have fresh flowers in the house.

[skygazer]

5. What a silly remark!

Flowers are not only for special occasions or to receive as a gift. I love having fresh flowers around and I often buy them or pick them.

Does she ever buy candy or jewelry for herself?

[Cuban_Liberal]

6. Your m-i-l needs to put a sock in it.

:eyes:

[Dorian Gray]

27. That's true, too!

Busy-body MIL's annoy me, and I've got the MOTHER LOAD of all busy-body MILs!

There are many topics that she pronounces her view as the correct view, and I just let it go to keep the peace! But, lord knows, when she's gone, her son gets to hear all about it!

As I said before, the fresh flowers are wonderful to have around the house! Don't worry about what she says. Just tell her that you enjoy having flowers around, and you don't care if someone actually buys them for you!

[boi1946]

7. Tell Mil

she's wrong. Almost everyone likes flowers in the house. And it's not like you have to get them from a florist---I get mine at the grocery store for the price of a large bag of chips---and they're better for you!

[AlCzervik]

8. sorry but your Monther in law sounds like a turd blossom

there is nothing wrong with buying yourself flowers.

[bettyellen]

9. Wow what a killjoy!! Of course you can buy yourself flowers!

If you got a pedicure would the in laws be telling you your husband should be doing that too?
She's just trying to make you feel bad and begrudge you enjoyment.
Solution, whatever she says in these matters, believe the opposite! Hey, it worked for George!

[Bouncy Ball]

11. Of course not!

I bought a beautiful boquet of sunflowers and other fall flowers for our Thanksgiving centerpiece a while back and really enjoyed them. But I thought of it as buying flowers for my table, not necessarily for me. They're for your whole family to enjoy right?

What the hell is your mother in law's deal?

[Lone_Star_Dem]

12. Another vote that nothings wrong with it.

I buy myself flowers all the time. Sometimes just because I thought they were pretty, others because I need a pick me up.

There's nothing wrong with it and they do mean something. They mean you like flowers. It may even mean that you like yourself. Neither of these are bad things. :)

[medeak]

14. Of course!

Mother in law thinks you should buy flowers for HER!

[cally]

15. I buy flowers for myself all the time

It makes me happy. The bigger question is why your mil would ask who bought them and why would you care. I had a roommate in college who would buy herself flowers even when food funds were low. She figured she needed the flowers more.

[Kire]

16. aren't flowers good for you to be around?

they release oxygen and other good stuff, right?

[JVS]

18. You MIL is full of shit. Shallow is having flowers delivered to...

yourself at work as though they were from some admirer. Buying flowers for the house is practical. Although I would tell the MIL that if she thinks that then maybe she should tell her son to get you some flowers once in a while.

[mcscajun]

19. It would only be shallow if you Pretended someone else bought them...

...otherwise...why the hell shouldn't you buy flowers if they make you happy?

Geeze...MIL needs to catch the clue train.

"If you Have you buy them for yourself." -- wow...her real problem seems to be that either a) you're stealing her little boy's thunder...or b) she's embarrassed she raised an unromantic son.

[shesemsmom]

20. It means something to you

What I never liked was the Hubby ordering the flowers and the bill coming to the house. Now that pisses me off. Either pay for them when ordered, or don't send them!!!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. not at all.

flowers are pretty no matter who buys them. your MIL was just being judgemental for no real reason!

[donheld]

22. It is neither Shallow or pathetic.

if i want flowers and am alone i can buy flowers. Why should someone who is alone be deprived of fresh flowers.

[fluffernutter]

24. selfish because you like flowers? chill out MIL.

i see nothing wrong with it at all :)

[yardwork]

28. The job of making a house a home used to be considered respectable

The homemaker was responsible for obtaining and arranging flowers for the house, along with the big and small touches that make the house comfortable and welcoming.

The homemaker can be male or female or it can be shared. In most American houses both partners work so the domestic work should be shared.

I believe in celebrating life through beauty. Making sure that there are flowers and other beautiful touches is an important job.

Your MIL is totally wrong. She seems to have some 1950s idea that the poor little wifey is totally dependent on big strong husband and if he doesn't buy her flowers than poor little wifey has to go without. Utter bullshit.

Next time she tries to put you down like that, tell her that you consider it part of your job as a householder to make sure that the house looks nice.

[CornField]

29. Thank you everyone

I know I shouldn't let her get to me... but she does. It would really be a welcome surprise if one thing I did actually impressed her (or even met her standards).

Oh well, I will continue to buy flowers and set them on my table. I like them. They make me feel good -- and I suspect they make the rest of the family feel good as well.

[yardwork]

30. I've put up with this kind of thing from my MIL for twenty plus years

Fortunately she lives a long way away and my husband dislikes her even more than I do.

The best revenge is living well. Love those flowers and spend more money on yourself. You deserve it!