random famiLy guy quotes

[sniffa]

Tom Tucker: Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined ammount of time. Of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people.

Cameraman: You guys, we're still on in Boston.



German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian Griffin: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. (You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany.)

Brian Griffin: ...uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

[fob]

1. HEY! There's uncapitalized "l's" in this post, what did you do with the

reaL Sniffa!!

Oh, and Family Guy KICKS ASS!!!

[sniffa]

2. yah dude!

sniffa's tied up in my basement.

mwahahahaha

[Goathead]

3. Family Guy rocks!

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!

Peter: A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.

Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

[sniffa]

4. another

peter: you don't have to kiLL strippers because they're aLready dead inside. (paraphrase)

[Kellanved]

5. I have mixed feelings about that quote

It was great fun to watch and is probably true to a certain degree, when comparing Munich/Bavaria to other German cities.

[dean_dem]

6. At last! I'm free

I declare this gum in the name of....Incisor!
Ah! Bicuspid! Have at you!

Shall we just bite the tongue, then?