Corporations

[Archae]

Saw this on another board:

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have 2 cows.

You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM:

You have 2 cows.

You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 Cows back, with a
tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via
an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with
9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buy your
bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. You are
surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You go on strike because you want 3 cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You count them and learn you have 5 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.

A FREEPER CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.

That one on the left is kinda cute...

[skygazer]

1. Thank you

That's very funny.

[nuxvomica]

2. Funny stuff!

I especially liked the Italian one.

[Cobalt Violet]

3. That's funny.

Do you know how a Scandinavian Corporation works?

[Archae]

4. Scandinavian?

They take both cows? :shrug:

[Cobalt Violet]

5. I don't know.

I thought you might know.