When picking up members of whichever sex you enjoy...

[CTLawGuy]

I think it is better to give the person your phone number rather than ask for theirs.

Asking for theirs puts them in an awkward situation if you misread them and they are really not interested in you.

Some may give you their real phone number:

then you call them and they make excuses about why they can't go out with you, so you keep waiting and asking, and they (surprisingly :eyes:) keep being busy. It's their hope that you will give up and get the "hint".

Others may give you a fake phone number:

so you get excited that you found someone you like and who likes you only to call and find out that you can't get in touch with them again, and then you think "gee, maybe they weren't really interested... but what if they just miscommunicated with you or just miswrote the number. Maybe if I go back to the same bar or club, ill find them again. And what if they think I'm not interested because they don't hear from me? Oh Jeez." So that leaves you wondering how you really stand with that person, and with a lot of stress.

A very few will refuse to give you the phone number (the correct course of action in this situation):

Some of this group will be nasty about it, and others will be nice and say "sorry, I'm not interested." However most people believe that this practice is mean and rude when it is in fact what you should do. So they do one of the other two options.


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If you give the person your phone number and say "call me", then if they truly are interested, they will call. If they are interested but don't want to call you, they will most likely offer their phone number.

If not interested, they will accept the phone number and say "thanks," and then never call you.

If they don't offer you theirs at that point, don't get your hopes up, but be happy if they do call.

The point is, not offering a phone number is easier for people than refusing a request to give a phone number.

[mark414]

1. i typically wait for them to offer

you can drop hints like "hey had a good time talking to you tonight" or something like that...but if they don't offer i don't even ask

[Radical Activist]

2. If you're a man pursuing a woman

that doesn't work so well. First, men are expected to be more aggressive and ask the woman out. Even if that is outdated and silly, many women still expect that so they aren't so likely to call. In the minds of some it makes the man seem passive and weak for not getting the woman's phone number and calling. I'm not saying I approve of that attitude, but that's how it is for many. Many women don't like to call or be the one to pursue a man.

[CTLawGuy]

4. its not worth it though

if a woman is interested and expects that, she will offer her phone number upon getting yours, even as a means to say "wtf, why are you straying from the script?"

Its the same reaction that comes when you offer your name, she then says hers. Maybe, when you give your phone number, she gives hers, esp. in the age of cell phones it makes sense.


besides, I'd rather run the risk of losing a date opporunity with the rare interested woman who will for some inexplicable reason not put even a minimal effort into trying to get us on a date rather than suffer through a multitude of fake phone numbers and girls giving me the run-around. I've dealt with way too much of that.

[GOPBasher]

3. I used to prefer the run-away-and-hide strategy, myself.

I'm married now, so I'm not trying to pick anyone up. It's a good thing, too, because I was never able to do so. I was so shy.

[redqueen]

5. I've almost always been the aggresor

and I almost never offered my number. I would much rather have theirs, in case things don't work out so well.

There have been very few times when I've given mine out. And now that I'm taken, even fewer. ;)

[Misunderestimator]

6. Or you could give them this number:

248-262-6861

or go to http://www.rejectionhotline.com

for a local number :D

[CTLawGuy]

7. lets have a website

making fun of the people who are too cowardly to be honest and to do the rejecting themselves.

[Misunderestimator]

11. Yep... apparently that's the rationale behind the site...

My niece gave me that number... she's used it, because sometimes, some men can be quite persistent, to the point of being threatening. I don't think it's cowardice at all to use a safe way out of a potentially bad situation.

[CTLawGuy]

12. if someone is being threatening

the best number to call is 911 or the police.

That is NOT the main reason that people give fake phone #'s, the main reason is out of a desire not to feel bad and not to "hurt the guy's feelings".

Also, what if someone is being threatening, you give them the fake phone number, but you meet them at a club that both you and they frequently go to? Wouldnt' giving them a fake make them MADDER and more likely to hurt you.

[Misunderestimator]

13. Ok, ok... I posted it as a joke....

but sometimes the threat is not so blatant that one would call 911. Believe me, though I haven't given a fake number myself, I don't blame women who do. I've had men continue to press me even after I've told them I'm gay. Sometimes, no just doesn't work. And if you don't care for confrontation, the easy way out is sometimes the best for all parties.

Of course, under normal circumstances if it's used because the woman doesn't want to be honest and hurt feelings, then it's a pretty underhanded and dishonest thing to do.

[Wapsie B]

8. No one's given me their #,

nor has any woman called if I gave them mine. Well one woman did give me her # after she made it clear that she was engaged to another guy and it would be a friends only relationship between us.


:grr:

[CTLawGuy]

9. thats very well done by her

she was *gasp* honest about her feelings.

I think the problem is you keep running into women who arent really interested. I have the same problem.

[Wapsie B]

10. That's true enough.

But the problem I'm having is that now after a bad marriage and a world of hurt to dump on me, I'd maybe stand half a chance with a woman like this. Let's cry on my shoulder. Give Mr. Asshole the best years of your life then come looking for a Caretaker male like me. I'm finally good enough for a woman like that. Imagine that.