DU married men - do your wives ever listen to you?

[NewJeffCT]

I know this is a rhetorical question, as the answer is probably no... but, I was a bit more frustrated than usual this morning. Sorry for venting.

I typically leave about 30 minutes before my wife in the morning. We got snow overnight in Connecticut, and it was still snowing quite heavily at 7:00am this morning. It was also very windy & unusually cold (about 10 degrees)...I called her from my car and said that the roads were slippery & that she should take the main roads & the highway into work, even though that is a bit longer mileage-wise. I first advised her to work from home, but I knew that would never fly...

However, she persisted in taking the back roads, got stuck in the snow for 45 minutes and was sliding all over the back roads... her normally 45 minute drive took over 2 1/2 hours for her. Luckily, somebody helped her after she was stuck there for 45 minutes and she is okay.

But, it is frustrating. Sometimes I think I should have random strangers come up to her & give her advice, as it seems she might listen to them before me!

[Wapsie B]

1. Not when I really have something to talk about.

Like important things such as money and sex she just shoots down anything I have to say and then ignores me.

[skygazer]

2. I'm not a married man - I'm a woman

Advice is just that - you offer it and people can either take it or not. Do you always take her advice?

Sometimes when a guy offers me advice, it sounds a little condescending - as if he'd no doubt make it because he's a man but I'd no doubt get stuck because I'm a woman. Maybe that's not how it's meant but sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes it's probably the chip on MY shoulder and not his attitude at all. I'm willing to admit that. So maybe she thought you were being a little over protective.

So she decided not to take your advice and she got stuck. And you kind of want to say, "I told you so." Perfectly natural but it's not really a big deal. You may have done the same if the situation was reversed.

Best thing is to just shrug it off. And I'm not saying you did this, but always try to make your advice or suggestions respectful, as if you're talking to an equal and not a child. Once again, I'm not saying you do that but some guys do without realizing it. And some of us do have a bit of a chip on our shoulders when it comes to being independent and doing what we damn well want to do! :hi:

[alexisfree]

3. no they dont!!!

don't bother to brake your head by giving advice ...been there done that.. :scared:

[MostlyLurks]

4. My wife thinks I am the dumbest human being on earth. n/t

[DeepGreen]

5. My wife and I communicate very well.

If have something to say or if she does, we say it.
Sometimes we discuss differences and sometimes we
agree that we don't have to agree. There is a mutual
respect and knowledge that even though we are married,
we are both individuals and have our own thoughts, desires,
and ideas. That works very well.
I am not saying that we don't argue from time to time.
I think everyone does.

[the Princess]

6. I listen

To everything CO Liberal has to say. He's intelligent and knowledgable and usaully knows what he's talking about. We discuss and come to a joint decision. We respect each others opinions.

Treating your husband or wife like a stupid child is juvenile and disrespectful.

[NewJeffCT]

7. I'm not saying we treat each other like children

On some big decisions (to sell our old home ourselves, and where to buy our new home, and whether to build or buy), she does listen to me... it's just sometimes on things that are not quite as important, I get ignored. A few years back, I had noticed a slight squeak in her brakes on her old car. I said that she'd better have her brakes looked at... she didn't, and then several weeks later, it cost several hundred bucks to have the brakes & rotors completely replaced instead of just getting the brake pads replaced.

[skygazer]

8. Seriously and respectfully

Do you always listen to her? Do you always take her advice? If she told you that you ought to take the long way, would you do that? Would you do it every time? If she told you that you ought to get your brakes checked, would you? Would you every time?

She's not a kid, she's your wife. She's going to do what any adult does - listen to the advice and either take it or not. What is it you want here? For her to do what you tell her to? For her to acknowledge that you were right and she was wrong?

The way you keep referring to it as "listen to me" makes it sound less like a conversation between two people and more like you telling her something. Why can't you allow her to make her own decision on which way she drives to work or when to have the brakes in her car looked at? So what if it's not the way you'd do it? You're not doing it.

[Phillycat]

9. Maybe he was worried about her.

I think I'd be annoyed too if my partner did something that endangered their life out of stubbornness. I think my concern for their safety could very easily translate into annoyance/anger. :shrug:

[skygazer]

12. I'm sure he was

I'm just trying to offer reasons for why she may not choose to take his advice. And pointing out that he probably doesn't always take hers. And since no one was hurt, it's not really a big deal. I'm sure she realizes that she should have gone the other way and is probably kicking herself for ignoring that advice.

[NewJeffCT]

11. yes, I do

I always listen to her. If I disagree, I will tell her.

[skygazer]

13. Well, then, perhaps she's just a stubborn bitch

Like me. :hi: (no offense meant by calling your wife a bitch, btw. Just what I've always been called :shrug:)

[the Princess]

16. Hey at least you get stubborn

I usually just get "BITCH" LOL

These days I take it as a compliment. LOL

[NewJeffCT]

15. my wife

My wife always asks me in the morning what the weather will be, so I told her that it was cold, windy & snowing. Then, since I was concerned for her safety after I left the house this morning, I called and said that she shouldn't drive on the backroads this morning as winding Route 140 probably isn't safe in these conditions - she is not one to think of alternate routes, as she tends to get lost very easily unless she drives somewhere repeatedly and she also does not have a lot of experience driving, let alone driving in the snow, having learned to drive when she was 30.

[the Princess]

10. But like I said

I listen when CO Liberal say anything. To ignore him would be disrespectful - and he does the same for me

[CO Liberal]

14. You Beat Me To It, Honey

The Princess and I listen to each other because we love and respect each other. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be????

[Forkboy]

17. Nope...which is probably for the best

:)

[buddhamama]

21. hehehe

makes sure she reads this :-) :hi:

[Forkboy]

22. She wont listen if I tell her

:)

:hi:

[buddhamama]

23. good point !

:-)

[underpants]

18. She damn well better if she knows what is good for her

Just kidding.

Answer-sometimes-in a situation like the one you described I wouldn't let her hear the end of it for a while. Start off with "Serves you right for not listening" I know that sounds harsh but I can't stand people who don't listen-not just to ME but who don't listen to what (and how) other people say.

[Pacifist Patriot]

19. Married woman who doesn't listen to her husband.

But that's because he's usually wrong. In our house, he'd be the one taking the back roads and getting stuck. The funny thing is that if he read this he'd probably be nodding his head. After fifteen years its become a running joke. We're generally okay if we listen to his advice and do the opposite. Sorry your wife got stuck. That's a pain. I'm glad she's okay.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

20. Story of our life.

Me: "You should do this and this because of that and that."

Goes into one ear and out the other.

Friend: "You should do this and this because of that and that."

She listens.

Me: "See? LISTEN TO ME next time, dammit!"

GOTO :START