Well, I'm calling it quits with my counselor tomorrow.

[Deja Q]

Anybody have any recommendations? I'm tired of people who seem to think they can diagnose me after knowing me for an accumulated 94 minutes of time. People who have known me for years are now angry at my (physicans group) because of the "treatment" I'd been getting because it's totally wrong. BTW: These people I speak of work in mental health so they know their stuff. And were shocked when I told them some of the quackery that had been applied to me.)

[roguevalley]

1. if you need a therapist, consider what you need them for and ask

around. Also, if you don't feel like they are right, then move on. Its a hard thing getting a therapist that works for you. Good luck, hon.

[Deja Q]

2. I need answers to my problems and how to cope with them in a world

of people that claim to be civilized but instead proves that a colony of ants (or even cockroaches) is infinitely more civilized.

[barb162]

13. what you say here is so eminently real, sane, intelligent, wise, etc.,

I wonder why you want to see a counselor. I am not looking nor hinting for an answer, let alone for you to spill your guts. Just an observation.

[skygazer]

3. I have no advice, just a lot of sympathy

I'd love to see a therapist but I'm just sick of shopping for them. I saw one guy who kept just trying to give me practical advice for the emotional issues I was seeing him for (the fact I cannot see my son).

He'd say, "well, you should get a lawyer and sue for custody" or some other advice - I've gone through all that. I finally told him if I wanted legal advice, I'd go to a lawyer. I wanted to talk to him about the way all that made me FEEL. :wtf:

The next lady told me I needed to put my faith in Jesus. I kid you not. My jaw dropped right to my feet. I told HER that I wasn't there for religious instruction and I never went back. :nuke:

So I understand your frustration. If you figure out how to find a good one, let me know, huh? :hi:

[Deja Q]

6. A good friend of mine,

had seen firsthand how inept they were at the clinic. She also spread the word (in confidentiality to others who I know and do trust) and they all hate the place where I go to right now.

She also told me of a counselor I should see. Unfortunately, when I called, that person recently got promoted to doing more managerial duties and is not taking new patients. :-(

Indeed, why should these fuckers - who can't even diagnose me right - dope me up with medication which will, potentially but not definitively, give me real problems in the future? Since they're part of the problem (a silent fascist system (that's soon to be not so silent)), they wouldn't be inclined to change a thing. Especially with the amount of money they get paid for sitting there not listening to patients and then misdiagnosing them? :grr: I'll tell you what one makes: $66k/yr. In-fucking-sane. Second rate gods.

[barb162]

16. gee, two quacks in a row, I am so sorry

[Heddi]

4. I totally hear you

when I was about 19 or so, I went to a therapist for what I considered to be just absolutely bottom-of-the-barrel unrelenting depression.

I sat down, talked with him for about 20 minutes, and he asked me if I smoked cigarettes, and I said yeah, and he asked me if I drank liquor, and I said yeah sometimes, and he asked if I did drugs, and I said that I occasionally smoked pot.

Right then he flipped his book closed, clapped his hands and said "Well, see, THAT is the cause of your depression right there! Marijuana stays in your body for THREE MONTHS and it's just a depressant and the longer its in your body, the more depressed you'll be!!!"

I looked at him, said "are you fucking kidding me?" and walked out.

I couldn't believe it. Yeah, it's the pot. has NOTHING to do with my absolutely horrid childhood, sexual trauma, shitty living situation. It's all reefer's problem.

asshole.

[barb162]

8. Heddi, I am so glad you walked out on that moron!

Are you holding together on your cat? I meant to tell you when you wrote about your poor darling cat, there is a feline cancer grief yahoo site that I was on when my Boy died of cancer a year ago.

[Heddi]

10. yeah I'm holding up okay. Thanks for asking

last night, my husband and I were sitting around and he asked if I wanted to talk about it, and I said "no" but then I realized FUCK THAT...my cat died 2 days ago...it's OKAY to feel bad. to feel sad. to greive.

Once I got to that stage (we heard a bit about "oh they're just animals" which is COMPLETELY not what I needed to hear) then I was fine. I'm still teary, but not so much so.

If you know the link to that site you went to, can you PM me?

Here's my favourite Cat Cancer joke:

"How can she get tongue cancer? She hasn't smoked in YEARS!" Heh. That's kind of the only way I can look at her diagnosis and smile about it :)

Thanks for the thoughts! :)

[CelticWinter]

14. Im sorry about your kitty

its hard to lose a member of the family. I lost my Sylvester a few years ago, he entered our home when my son was in kindergarten and was with us the year his daughter was born. He gave us 18 yrs of happiness and we miss him much. I found this kitty prayer I thought I would share with you.
Blessings
~~Celtic

A Cat's Prayer


If it should be, that I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then, you must do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can't be won.

Don't let your grief stay your hand,
For this day more than the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many years,

What is to come can hold no fear.
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes, please let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend,

Only, stay with me to the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you'll see it is a kindness
you do for me

Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Don't grieve it should be you who this thing
decides to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years,

Don't let your heart hold tears.
Smile, for we walked together for awhile.


~author unknown

[barb162]

19. that's beautiful and so perfect

[barb162]

15. I just tried PMing you and it didn't work and I hate putting it here

asit is inappropriate and I hope my apology to hypnotoad
is accepted
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/feline-cancer/


and
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/feline-cancer-grief-support/

the first group is probably the one you might want to try first...I was on both,let me tell you

Hugs!

[bigwillq]

5. My friend had a really great therapist

here in CT but I don't think that woman practices anymore.


I don't really have any suggestions to offer to you since this is not my area of expertise.


Try going on the net and search for some doctors in your area. Get recommendations from friends, family, co-workers, etc.


I wish you the best with this situation.

[Deja Q]

7. My family, who've sent me to these idiots all my life, are AGAINST

the "practice" entirely and loathe the idea of "instant drug cure" they promise.

Maybe it's force of habit that keeps me finding new quacks to feed, I just don't know.

I'll know more tomorrow. She did at least say she'd talk about what I had brought in for the next session. Then I will know for sure.

[bigwillq]

9. If they're "against" it, then why

they send you to them in the first place?

[Deja Q]

22. Because they had faith in the system. The system turned out to be garbage.

That was also 25 years ago, of course... They've fought tooth and nail all thoughout my childhood against idiots who shouldn't have been counselors, teachers (one thought there were 52 states, no less), principals, et cetera...

[barb162]

11. a good therapist can often size someone up in 5 minutes or less

through certain very obvious cues, according to my lifeling friend and she is very good herself and has gotten rave reviews from people I have sent to her.

Did you ever have one of those tests given by a psychologist, it's about 3 hours long or so and one of the things is being shown photos and then you tell a story about it. Then there's an IQ section and several other sections.

One of the other posters here made a good rec and that was to talk to other people who are very happy with their therapists because they are making progress and working things through.

If you know your diagnosis through the tests, then I would go to a person who specializes in that diagnosis, but still be very wary.

My friend told me there are many shrinks who don't like to do progress, especially if you are a patient who always pays on a timely basis.

[Kire]

12. I accept my diagnosis, even if it's all wrong.

If there is no diagnosis, the insurance companies won't pay.

[Deja Q]

21. And in the future, they'll look at what's going on and try to use it

against you.

On the plus side, though it took YEARS, I finally got two diagnoses down (ADD and a neurological problem that everybody else outright ignored.)

But the more they rule out one thing only narrows things down.

It depends on your point of view and I am definitely not blind to yours. It's a matter of accepting and fighting until either side knows for sure.

[Kire]

23. use it against you, how?

I recently had to change providers and got all in a coniption about the pre-existing conditions, but I found out that it's okay if you can show that you've had coverage up to 62 days prior to the new initial starting date.

I don't know, I guess I am blind. sorry.

[NNadir]

17. Therapists are like clothes. You need to find the kind that turns you on.

I had therapists who were worthless. One wanted me to counsel him. My wife had a therapist you just checked her out continuously, practically drooling on her.

On the other hand, I had a therapist who helped me get to the place where I could create a relationship with my wife, and another who helped me save my marriage and make it strong enough to be thrilling after nearly two decades.

If a therapist feels wrong after a time, he or she, probably is. But some therapy can be useful. Shop around before quitting.

[jdots]

18. Right ON you are a person not some catch phrase .

It is time to stop calling people inintials like B.V.D. or X.Y.Z.
The drug of the month club has got to be replaced with a Dr. that isn't looking for the paid vacation from the pharacutical neocons.
You will find a good doctor,they are still out there,not easy to find now but they exist.
In a way this trend is like pre judging humans into groups of symptons.So much of the crap we go thru now is situational,you will find a good doc. soon

[sendero]

20. The cool thing...

... about being a "psychiatrist" or a "psychologist" or a "counselor" is there is no penalty whatsoever for being an abject failure :)

If you aren't feeling the love, move on.

[Bouncy Ball]

24. That totally sucks Hypno

just like in every profession, you got your good and your bad. Problem is, bad counselors can really cause a lot of damage.

Sounds like you need to call it quits with this one. I have had horrible counselors, too.

One of them, after I told her exactly THREE things about my mom, decided that my GRANDFATHER (her dad) had sexually molested her. Obviously I have no way of knowing if he did or didn't but what I told the counselor about my mom in NO WAY indicated sexual abuse and even if it did, why her dad? Why not someone else? I questioned the counselor as to why she said that and she got all hostile with me and I never went back.

Best of luck to you! :hug:

[progmom]

25. It can be a tough topic for people to talk about...

...but ask around. If you can find someone recommended by a friend, you are leaps and bounds ahead of the curve.

Your friend recommended someone who is no longer taking patients. Can you find out who that counselor would recommend? They would know which of their colleagues is worthy of a referral.

I'm proud of you for ending the abusive relationship with your current (former!!) counselor. That takes guts.

:hug: