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Help - I'm falling for a seriously younger man!

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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:55 PM
Original message
Help - I'm falling for a seriously younger man!
34 vs. 24 - are we nuts?








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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Not at all.
A dear friend is in a relationship with an age difference like this. They've been together 22 years.
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pmbryant Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. What's wrong with that?
The woman I have been with for over 14 years is 9 years older than myself.

--Peter
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tmooses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:57 PM
Response to Original message
3. Only if he is a Republican.
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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:08 PM
Response to Reply #3
25. no,
thank goodness!
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wyldwolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. GO - 4 - IT!
You both are lucky for different reasons
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Jack_Dawson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. No but you're gonna want kids and he's gonna want...
to go do "shooters" with his friends. If you can hang with that, more power to you. :toast:
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #5
32. Don't be too sure.
My husband was 23 when we got married, and HE was ready to try for kids a few months before I was.
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. "a few months" is not an issue; "years" are
i'm currently dating a 30 year old (i'm 25), and I made it ABUNDANTLY clear to her that i'm not looking for kids for years, if ever (and i clarified by saying "i refuse to entertain the notion before i'm 30). i think that you can make relationships like that work, but you have to be totally, COMPLETELY honest about the big 3 (career, marriage, and kids), and you have to be on the same page for all of them to really have a chance IMHO...
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #37
44. I know that; I'm simply pointing out that 24 doesn't *necessarily* mean
they won't be on the same page regarding children.

(However, I've just read that this particular 24-year-old is headed for medical school.)
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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #44
46. yeah, you guys are dealing with the same issues.
I'm ambivalent on kids myself.

But I know HE imagines some shorter dependents in his future... his DISTANT future. Um, adoption, maybe?

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Jack_Dawson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #32
40. And how old were YOU?
:shrug:
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #40
43. I was 31.
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MadHound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
6. Oh please, no, there is nothing wrong with that at all
A ten year difference is no big deal. I had a steady relationship for a number of years with a woman nineteen years older than myself. If you are both comfortable with it, if its no big deal, then enjoy. Love comes in all forms and ages, grab it when you can.
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kaitykaity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
7. No, not at all.

If he were 19 or 21 or something then yeah, you'd
have a problem. At 24 he's a big boy. (My mom
is 59 and one of her favorite boys is 34 -- six
years younger than me.)

Teach him well.

:evilgrin:
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
8. no
you're babies.

My gramma and grampa got together when she was 43 and he was 30, plus my mom's 3rd husband was 15 years younger.

Now, if the ages were reversed, would you be this concerned?
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Placebo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
9. You make me sick. You DISGUST me!
Juuuuuuust kiddin' ;)

Actually, I've gone with people 20+ years older than me so no, that's definitely not strange at all.

Best of luck to you! :hi:
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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
10. Enjoy yourselves!
Life's too short, and age ain't nothing but a number...
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CarbonDate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
11. I've seen worse n/t
.
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. Nope, its love
Been there done that. First woman I fell in love with was several years my senior. Go for it.
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chookie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
13. Don't expect me to throw you a pity party
You are not nuts.

Enjoy your life.

My very best wishes to you -- much happiness to you both!
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plcdude Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
14. absolutely not
in fact in terms of sexuality this may be the optimum time frame
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Tempest Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
15. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children?
Sorry.

Channeled Helen Lovejoy for a second there.
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:02 PM
Original message
Eh, let them get their own dates
:)
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
16. Enjoy it
How often does love come around???
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Breezy du Nord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
17. Hey, I fall for seriously younger men all the time.
Of course, I'm 15, so I imagine it's a bit different for me. :)

To be serious, I really don't think there's anything wrong with 34 and 24 year olds dating. You're both adults, what's wrong with it?
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7th_Sephiroth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
18. i'm 20
and i'm in a relationship od sorts with a 42 year old
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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
19. Thanks everyone for the encouragement!
i don't hang out in the Lounge all of the time, but needed a shot of nerves on this one today.

i guess if i can get away with it... ;) my mama told me, "take it one day at a time, but you know that already." smart mama.
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
20. You are nuts if you deny yourself the opportunity to
be happy because of some silly societal stereotype that says that the woman must be the younger party in the relationship. Best wishes to you both :hi:
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Redneck Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
21. My parents are eight years apart in age
and they've been married for about a million years now. If it worked for them, what's a couple of more years.

Go for it. Have fun.
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tridim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
22. Nothing wrong with that, unless you're a 30 something man
dating a 20 something woman. Double standards and all.
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livinginphotographs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
23. I'm 24...
And I like older women. :wink wink:


But seriously, there's no problem at all. 10 years really isn't that much of a difference, as long as he's legal. ;)
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
24. That's mighty close to the cutoff line ... BUT
10 years difference is the most I'd consider, which in my case means nobody younger than 28. If it works for the two of you, to hell with what anyone else says !!

Younger men are awesome because they're not fuddy-duddy's all worried about their 401k's and golf and driving an old-fartmobile ... and they think that our 'maturity' and 'experience' makes us cooler and sexier than the bimbo's their buddies' lives are littered with.


:hippie:
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MotorCityMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
26. No, you are not nuts
I was 34 and my lover was 59 when we got together.

We had five wonderful years together before he passed away last year.

Don't let the age bother you; go by the person.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
27. Sounds fun.
:bounce:
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
28. Not at all
There's a 15-year age difference between my beloved and me. We're very happy and we're perfect for one another.

I wish you both happiness. :hug:
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Jose Diablo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
29. Yes, you should go for a
somewhat older man than yourself. One that can appreciate your beauty and shower you with very fine jewelry, gowns, automobiles and fine vacations.

Someone less...inhibited... and far more experienced in the things that women truly enjoy.
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The Sushi Bandit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
30. Got Pictures??
That way we can all tell if it's a good match!
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Pillowbiter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
31. My wife is 16 years older than me
So don't fret it.
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msgadget Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
33. Does he have a J-O-B?
As long as you treat him as an equal and don't offer him opportunities he hasn't earned (residence, insurance, etc.) then there's nothing wrong with it.
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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. ack
He is working a J-O-B, now -- a tough one that makes little $$$ but I respect him for doing -- while taking his final prereqs for medical school.

THAT'S the pickle. Med school, for him, would start Fall 2006. I'm established in my career, own a house, don't wanna move again, would rather keep my dear roommates than be married to someone who's never home... this just scrambles my brain too much to think about. Secretly wishing he's go for nursing or PA instead, something easier. Don't NEED more money, really.

Back to mama's "one day at a time" mantra, and no getting ahead of myself, i guess. sigh! it's just a coupla dates and some mutual butterflies up to this point.







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msgadget Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Wow, that is a tough choice
but you already know what you should do, which is to take it one day at a time. Why are you freaking out after a couple dates - ya think he's The One?
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CitySky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #36
45. you know what it is?
I so rarely even think about there being a "One" for me that this has me broadsided!

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msgadget Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:45 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. Do you know how he feels about you?
Have you two talked about the future or is this just you anticipating what a long term relationship with him? And, what would you have to do or say to yourself to get back to the one day at a time thing that works so well?
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #35
39. My good friend, an ex-supermodel, is 56
and her boyfriend-a nurse-is 42. Works for them!

My cousin is a 44 year old film producer, and her boyfriend is a 34 year old stuntman. I think she's worried about what he'll do when he's too old to fall off horses, but other than that, they're happy! :-)
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Miami Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
34. Go for it!
I don't think it's a big age difference, have fun!
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Cobalt Violet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
38. As long as he isn't jailbait your OK
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Borgnine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
41. No!
As a 21 year old guy, if I met a woman in her '30s that I gelled with, I'd go for it in a heartbeat!
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Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-21-04 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
42. I am 28. My woman is 34.
Nah, just do it. Have fun.
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