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My brother and I are estranged. He's a hard-core Freeper-type who disinvited me to Thanksgiving behind our mother's back because my non-Xian, Kerry-voting, living-in-sin lifestyle would ruin the HOLYday. He's also a hypocrite of the worst sort, and was quite cruel to me when we were both kids. Quite frankly, I have nothing to say to him (the e-mail we exchanged over Thanksgiving were the first words that have passed between us in three years). Anyway, our mother is quite oblivious to all this, due in part to my protecting her from it, and, since his family has a new baby, she's been encouraging me to see him this Xmas. I have been making excuses after excuses. She keeps telling me how much he wants to see me and get close to me (some of it she's making up to get us together and some of it is likely BS he's feeding her). Finally, last night, I got real with her. Here's a paraphrase of what I said:
"Look, Ma. Brother and I aren't close. We never have been and quite frankly, we never will be. I'm okay with that, and I think he is too. If he wanted to see me, he would come here, or at least pick up the phone. If he wanted us to be closer, he would have invited me to his wedding. Our relationship is what it is, and it's not like your relationship with your brothers, and that's okay. I wish him the best but I have no interest in his life. There won't be any Hallmark Moments between Brother and I and I think you need to accept that. I'm sorry it bothers you, but there it is,"
She took it better than I expected. At least, so far. And I feel much better today, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't know what took me so long, frankly.
What have you been holding back from saying to your family?
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