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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:39 PM
Original message
The hyperbole thread.
I'm bored as HELL. There is NOTHING to do in this house. EVERYONE is doing fun stuff over the holidays but me. The streets roll up here at 5PM. NO ONE lives here but fundie Republicans anyway. I guess I'll just bake some cookies, eat them all, and put on about fifty pounds.

:-)
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NoodleBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
1. Well if you HATE your town SO MUCH, you can leave.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. If I left, NO ONE would care anyway!
Besides, it would take YEARS to pack up the TONS of stuff I have. Might as well stay here.
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NoodleBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Well THERE you GO!
Edited on Wed Dec-22-04 08:44 PM by NoodleBoy
Well then WHY did you WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME posting ABOUT it? You obviously have NO RESPECT for the precious, PRECIOUS TIME of other PEOPLE.

I have NO REASON why I'm capitalizing ALL these WORDS> (--that's what a period looks like when it's capitalized, or so my keyboard TELLS ME)
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. Damn! All you noodle people are drama kings.
All you care about is your precious time. Selfish, each and every one of you! :-)
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. I was told that this has some hyperbole in it
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
Action of Second Continental Congress, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

WHEN in the Course of human Events,
it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness -- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great- Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

HE has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

HE has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

HE has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

HE has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

HE has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

HE has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of the Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and the Convulsions within.

HE has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

HE has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

HE has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

HE has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harrass our People, and eat out their Substance.

HE has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislatures.

HE has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

HE has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

FOR quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us;

FOR protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

FOR cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

FOR imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

FOR depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

FOR transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

FOR abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rules into these Colonies:

FOR taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

FOR suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.

HE has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

HE has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

HE is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.

HE has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

HE has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

IN every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

NOR have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

WE, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
;) teasing
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Whew...well, we can begin with "all men are created equal..."
Which might have been so, but the founders certainly didn't think so.
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. hah if only my assigment was to find hyperbole.
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Boswells_Johnson Donating Member (526 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. Nobody cares about anything anymore!
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. It's because everybody's busy buying worthless shit...
to put under the tree for Christmas. I know this because I went to the mall today. You couldn't swing a cat by its tail without hitting a mall zombie. I wonder how all of these poor mississippians afford Christmas...they must sell their foodstamps for millions or something.

:evilgrin:
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Boswells_Johnson Donating Member (526 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #7
19. HAHAHA!
Seriously, that was hilarious:)

I nearly snapped on my way to the store today--I got behind a Hummer. It blocked out the sun. I despise those trucks with my entire being, and the people that drive them don't give a shit about anyone else.

At the store (the trip lasted for eternity) I saw a guy who must have been 1400 years old. He was the ugliest SOB ever...he had more hair on his knuckes than I have on my head...He was slower than death, because his only means of conveyance was momentum...finally blew a gasket...I was then escorted from the store by an army of meatheads...

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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
8. This is the STUPIDEST THREAD EVER!!!!! IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!
:evilgrin:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. I hear that Yak Burgers are the best meal ever...
You have a yak you can lend me? :evilgrin: :hi:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. ZombyWoof has ALL the yaks. There's just none left for us!
:hi:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. All I ever wanted was a yak. But Zomby's more selfish than anyone
He's a yak hoarder. I'm calling the SPCA on him--I'll see that he gets put under the prison! :hi: back.
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Zomby Woof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. I am NOT a yak hoarder!!!
I am a YAK WHORE! :D
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
9. GREAT!
I have NO RESPOSE for THIS ENTIRE THREAD!
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. All you want to do is talk about completely useless stuff.
You never contribute anyway. Why should you start now?

:hi: (j/k of course) :-)
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Well, YOU WOULD say something like that
you are always so NEGATORY! It would be nice to see something positive from you, for a change...

:hi: Back at ya! a jape! :P
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jdots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
11. that sounds like fun to me
I live in L.A. which everyone thinks is the entertainment capital of the cosmos and it closes at 4 p.m. but the fundies have perky fake boobys......oh sure there is stuff to do if you like going to clubs that can annoy Gaundi or fancy resteraunts with homeless people in front of them. COOKIES ,some milk and who cares about the love handles !
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. I saw some fake boobs once that looked like missiles...
I could never have breasts like that...those people must use their children's inheritence to pay for those walleyed looking jigglypoos.

(I agree...I'm going to cook some blonde brownies in a sec, and sit here with a huge glass of milk and feast!) :hi:
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