Help! I need ideas for a Tacky Christmas Ornament competition!

[displacedtexan]

I am completely at a loss! The party is tonight!

Therefore, I call on all of my creative DU friends for...

HELP!

[ET Awful]

1. I used to really piss off my ex-girlfriend by insisting that my

Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo ornament be front and center on the tree :)

[displacedtexan]

12. You were wise to get out of that relationship!

Humor is the only thing that lasts!

[HeeBGBz]

2. Bejeweled testicle Christmas balls?

A penis angel?

That's about as tacky as I can get this am.

[displacedtexan]

14. Are you donating the supplies?

Just asking.

I'm kind of in a hurry.

[HeeBGBz]

23. Sorry. Out of stock.

They're on my wish list.

[DoctorMyEyes]

3. How tacky can it be?

Can you put a santa hat and little twinkle lights on a Jesus hanging from the cross?

[displacedtexan]

4. That's pretty interesting.

I know someone is decorating a toilet seat cover (I guess you'd file that under Tacky Xmas Decor).

[spinbaby]

5. Tampon angel

Here ya go...

http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/craftplanet.com/tampon-angel/

[displacedtexan]

11. I guess I could use a hair dryer (Can't wait days for it to dry)

What if I use the wrapper as the wings?

[China_cat]

6. Glittered condom 'stockings'

Extra large size, of course.

[Catchawave]

7. Well, off the top of my head....

Grab about 2 feet of aluminum foil and ball it up, make hanger out of paper clips. Decorate to personal tacky taste.

Or take an empty toilet paper spool, cover with foil, hanger out of paper clips. Mark with sharpie, Happy Festivus !

[LiberalEsto]

8. Have cats?

Glitter-spray their hairballs and insert paper-clip hangers.

If you have lots of cats and LOTS of hairballs, you can string them like popcorn.

[displacedtexan]

9. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!

That's truly tacky!

[LiberalEsto]

13. Thank you!

I'm from NJ originally

[demnan]

10. And if they don't have hairballs

you can do it with their poo!

[goodbody]

15. gluing macaroni is always tacky

glue some macaroni onto some colored paper as if you are actually trying to create an image of Christmas. Leave traces of the glue everywhere and maybe spray paint the macaroni first with a metallic green or red. Cheap and definitely tacky.

[displacedtexan]

16. I bought various types of macaroni...

Just can't get inspired.

[LiberalEsto]

17. You can alternate macaroni

and painted hairballs on your strings....

[spinbaby]

18. Thomas Kinkade ornaments

Only $9.99 each:

[AlCzervik]

19. He's evil.

[displacedtexan]

24. He runs a sweatshop.

He employs a stable of artists, who have to complete a certain number of his reproductions or else they get fired.

60 Minutes profiled him last year.

[hippiechick]

20. Cut out a pic of Shrub and ....

Glue red and green pipecleaners around it to make a border ... then put a hook in it.

NOW THAT'S TACKY ... but you know, some fundie freak somewhere probably has a Christmas tree full of them already ...


:freak:


:hippie:

[Ganja Ninja]

22. Use one of those halo pics for an even more disgusting effect.

:hurts:

[Phillycat]

21. It must involve gluing glitter to something.

That's all I know.