Today's holiday earworm courtesy of the Irish Rovers

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

<Refrain>
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinking too much eggnog
And we begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow
When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There were hoofprints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back

<Refrain>

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa
He's been taking this so well
See him in there watching football
Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Belle
It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

<Refrain>

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
With a blue and silver candle
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig
I've warned all my friends and neighbours
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

<Refrain>

[mac56]

1. Worst. Christmas. Song. Ever.

I used to refuse to play it on my radio show. Told the boss I'd only play it if any caller who requested it donated $50 to the local senior center.

Injuring older women? Yeah, that's the Christmas spirit alright. :eyes:

And the version we had was by "Elmo and Patsy". It has actually surpassed Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" as the biggest-selling Christmas song.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

2. Well, *I* think it's funny.

But then I'm into dark humour.

[mac56]

3. Like what you like.

Whatever fills your stocking.

It's even been made into a half-hour-long cartoon on "Cartoon Network". Something about kidnapping Grandma and trying to convince her that she's nuts, in order to swindle some money or something.

Ho ho ho.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

7. Yeah, that sucked.

But the song was funny.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

8. My worst radio mis speak? Introduced Bing Crosby's "Old Fashioned

Christmas" as "An Old Fascist Christmas."

I heard about that one.

[miss_kitty]

4. Shit. I had no idea. Never heard this one

But now I have "The Unicorn" lodged in my head

Happy Holidays, you bastard!

[1monster]

5. Better the Unicorn than LILY THE PINK...

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case.

Mr. Frears
had sticky-out ears
and it made him awful shy
and so they gave him medicinal compound
and now he's learning how to fly.

Brother Tony
Was notably bony
He would never eat his meals
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels.

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case.

Old Ebeneezer
Thought he was Julius Caesar
And so they put him in a Home
where they gave him medicinal compound
and now he's Emperor of Rome.

Johnny Hammer
Had a terrible stammer
He could hardly say a word
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now he's seen (but never heard)!

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case.

Auntie Millie
Ran willy-nilly
When her legs, they did recede
And so they rubbed on medicinal compound
And now they call her Millipede.

Jennifer Eccles
had terrible freckles
and the boys all called her names
but she changed with medicinal compound
and now he joins in all their games.

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case.

Lily the Pink, she
Turned to drink, she
Filled up with paraffin inside
and despite her medicinal compound
Sadly Picca-Lily died.

Up to Heaven
Her soul ascended
All the church bells they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing.

Oooooooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case.

[miss_kitty]

6. Oh YEAH?

The Unicorn

A long time ago, when the Earth was green,
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen.
And they ran about and played while the Earth was being born,
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the unicorn.

The Lord seen some sinning and it caused Him pain.
And He said, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain!"
He said, "Hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do,
Go and build me a floating zoo,"
"and take some".......

"Green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born.
Don't you forget My unicorns."

Old Noah was there to answer the call,
He finished up the ark just as the rain started to fall.
Then he marched in the animals two by two,
And he called out as they came through,
"Hey Lord,"

"I've got green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn,
I just can't find no unicorns!"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain,
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games.
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pourin',
Oh, them silly unicorns!

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Noah cried, "Close the door because it's starting to storm,
And we just can't wait for those unicorns!"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide,
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried.
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away,
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day.

You'll see some green alligators and long-necked geese,
Lots of humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
You're never gonna see a unicorn!

Damn. I HATE this song.

[MercutioATC]

9. Damn you to hell.

I got through the whole season without hearing that song ONCE and I get the earworm HERE?!?!?

[u4ic]

10. I guess this one is reserved for New Year's Eve

Wasn't That A Party

Could-a been the whisky, might-a been the gin.
Could-a been the three or four six packs, I don't know,
But won't you look at the mess I'm in?
A head like a football, I think I'm going to die.
But tell me, a-me oh, me oh my,
Wasn't that a Party?

Someone took a grapefruit, wore it like a hat.
I saw someone under my kitchen table, talking to an old tomcat.
They were talking about hockey. The cat was talking back,
Along about then everything went black.
Wasn't that a party

It sure it's just my memory,
Playing tricks on me,
but I believe I saw my buddy,
Sittin' up in my neighbours tree.

Bill, and Joe and Tommy,
Went a little far.
They were sitting in the front yard,
Blowing on the siren,
Of somebody's police car.

And so you see, Your Honour,
It was all in fun.
That little bitty track meet down on main street,
Was just to see if the cops could run.
Well they run us down to see you,
In an alcoholic haze,
And I sure can use those thirty days.
But wasn't that a party?