New recruit letter ...to the folks back home on the farm.

[JohnnyRingo]

LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT:

Dear Ma and Pa I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer
the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to
join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at
first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I
like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine
some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split,
fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad,
there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.
but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and
other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two
city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon
when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches",
which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks
so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far
as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride
back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Capt. is like the
school board! . Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for
shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head
and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.
All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it You don't even
load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle
with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.
It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they
got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat
him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130
pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Gail.

[Nay]

1. I've read several versions of this over the years, and it never fails

to make me LMAO! My hubby is a farm boy, and it kills him every time, too.