A lonely rant about men.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

I am so lonely that I just now went to Wal-mart (all I bought was some cat food, get off my case) because I knew the cashiers would talk to me.

Why am I so lonely?

Every good man I know or know of is one of the following:

A.) married
B.) otherwise 'taken' by another woman
C.) gay
D.) one of my brothers
E.) thousands of miles away.


_____________________ <--- that is where the wrist-slitting comment would go if our mods weren't so zealous about such things. :)

Thank you for listening.

[NightTrain]

1. Every woman I know or know of is one of the following:

A.) married
B.) otherwise 'taken' by another man
C.) a lesbian
D.) one of my co-workers (and I don't want to go there, if you know what I mean)
E.) thousands of miles away
F.) a wacko or a loser

So, how old are you, G_B? ;)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

3. I'm 34.....

and no offense, man, but you're a little intense for me. The parking lot confrontations and road raging and stuff you've talked about would scare me to death. I guess I'm a wimp. :-(

You're a cool DUer, though! I like all your music threads. :D

[NightTrain]

10. Not a problem! Besides, we probably live nowhere near each other.

And you're right about my being, um, intense. Some years ago, I finally stopped holding everything inside in the name of "keeping the peace." If that intimidates some people, so be it!

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

20. Glad you're cool about it.

Definitely not personal. Just honest. :)

[jellybelly]

4. have an affair with a married man...

being 20, I'm never lonely but I sometimes wish I were. Stupid men.:grr:

[ShinerTX]

9. An affair is probably not the answer.

But it might be a lot of fun.

I feel like I'm in the same boat, but going the opposite direction. Do you do anything outside of work? Member of any groups or clubs where decent guys congregate?

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

14. Never considered that.

I don't think I could do that. I know how devastated I would be if I were the wife in that circumstance. You know, the whole goddamn liberal do-unto-others conscience thing. Sigh.

[Beaverhausen]

22. Affairs with married men- bad karma and unsisterly

I can't believe someone suggested that. Pretty sick.

[gardenista]

29. Yep, not a good way to feel better about yourself. nt

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Ditto.

You get to a point, mebbe too careful, mebbe too cautious...

Maybe too something or other, but lonely sucks.

:hug:

[RevolutionaryActs]

2. AWwwwwww Gryf!

:hug:'s and :*'s to you. I hope you feel better soon. :)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

6. Thanks. :-)

I probably won't. I'll feel like shit forever. But your hope is nice, though.

[RevolutionaryActs]

11. awwwwwww,

You could always go visit the booktoy! ;) :o

[maveric]

5. What's your criteria for a "Good Man"?

Just curious.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

8. Sure.

1. Not addicted to alcohol, crack, cigarettes, sports, or any other drug.

2. Intelligent.

3. Creative.

4. Liberal.

5. Gainfully Employed.

6. Interest in kinky sex.

7. Good hugger.

That's about it. Evidently, it's far too much to ask out of life.

[ShinerTX]

15. You sound like my type.

[jellybelly]

18. that's your problem..

1. Not addicted to alcohol, crack, cigarettes, sports, or any other drug.

4. Liberal.

Number 1 and 4 don't go well together.:smoke:

[maveric]

23. Damn! #1 leaves me out.

I smoke and love sports(but not addicted).

[NashVegas]

24. try usenet or online services

and for goodness sake, forget about picking up guys at Wal-Mart!

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

27. Nah, not picking up guys. The cashiers are friendly, though.

Mostly old Southern types -- the type who threaten to spank you if you say a bad word. :evilgrin:

[brainshrub]

31. You live to far away.

But I know lots of great guys like me. You'll find one if/when you want.

[Bok_Tukalo]

40. Define "kinky"

1. OK there

2. More clever than intelligent. Not a Stephen Hawking at all but I can pass for a Macgyver.

3. Very. Get paid to be and fill my free time being.

4. Hmm. I am cursed with Empathy and Reason so I would say that makes me liberal, I suppose.

5. Yes.

6. You got to be careful about those things. I have found out the hard way that one person's kink is another's banal.

7. There's a bad hugger?

[SarahB]

43. Sounds like we like the same type.

Men seem to like me and flirt with me frequently. However, they generally seem to be assholes who notice me for external reasons giving a shit about who I really am.
When things are beyond that I only seem to get hurt anyway which leads me back to accepting the fact I'll probably just be alone for a very long time. Such is life.

[HEyHEY]

7. Every woman I know is one of the following

Nuts





Just kidding

[johnnie]

16. LOL

That was funny.

[Shananigans]

48. Asshole.

Just kidding! That one made me laugh.

I actually tell my guy friends that ALL women ARE psycho. We all are, but I also have a psychoness scale. Some women are just a ten. 5 would be average, and 1 would be impossible. I'm only a 3-4! Yay!

[LanternWaste]

12. Well....

I am not:

Married
Taken or involved
Gay
One of your brothers (at least I don't think so, Dad was a salty cuss in his younger days and there's not to many fields he didn't sow)
Thousands of miles away (hundreds mabey... but thousands? Naw...)

After a particularly difficult breakup with an ex many years ago, my best friend told me, "It's better to be miserable because you're alone than to be miserable because you're with someone". Baby, ain't that the truth!

Please don't be down about this. Throw a Cary Grant/Irenne Dunne comedy into the VCR, make some cocoa and put a cat on your lap... you'll be laughing in no time.

(Although the Irenne Dunne/cocoa/cat thing seems to my antidote for a lot these days, it does seem to work)

:)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

33. Don't have any Cary Grant flicks, but I have a Chris Rock DVD or three.

Good ideas. Thanks. :thumbsup:

[Beaverhausen]

13. I spent many years alone and found a great man when I was 41

There are great men out there.

You have to find your own life, your own fun, your own joy and you will draw them to you.

Hang in there sister...I know the feeling.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

30. That gives me hope. They say you're more likely to get killed by a

terrorist than get married after 40. :-(

And 35 is rapidly approaching.

You beat the odds! You rock! :D

[Beaverhausen]

39. That statistic is a crock!

You do have to get out there and get a life of your own. Then when you are really having fun- Mr. Right shows up!

[tjdee]

17. The good ones are snatched up quick, aren't they.

I don't know what the hell I was saying here, so forget that, LOL!

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

25. Ha ha, isn't that how it works?

Like on that Chris Rock comedy special. As soon as a guy is involved, he gets a call every Tuesday. "We're having a *#%$-sucking contest and thought you'd be a good judge."

I think the principle works in reverse, too.

[tjdee]

28. I guess so.....but it's frustrating!

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

19. And here I sit...

Alone and unattached. :eyes:

[johnnie]

21. Oh well

I smoke :shrug:

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

26. Sorry man, I have to be able to breathe. :-(

I'm sure you're cool otherwise, though. Thanks for visiting my self-pity thread. :thumbsup:

[serryjw]

35. Where do you live?

Is your 'mommy clock' ticking? What do you do? Can you find any men at work? It's simply a numbers game. If you live in a small town it is more difficult. You have to be where the men are and do the things you enjoy. What hobbies do you have?

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

36. Mommy Clock? ROFLMAO.

Uh....no.

I live in Mississippi. Mark Twain country. I work with mostly women.

My hobbies are reading, writing, drawing, music, and dancing.

I am thinking about joining the Unitarian church.

[serryjw]

38. Well that's good

getting married just to have a child is not a good reason. If your religion is important to you, joining the church is a good idea. have you given any thought to moving> There can't be many liberals in MS.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. have you considered moving,.....somewhere with more options?

[ShinerTX]

34. A bookworm...

What kind of books are you into?

[maveric]

37. Is it OK to like the 3 Stooges? If I give up smoking?

Whadaya think?

[hangemhigh]

41. Get BOB.

But hear this advice first-for what it's worth. I'm 45 and have been single after one marriage, for many years. Plenty of dates and relationships all of which have taught me important things about myself.

Volunteer. Do something that takes you outside of yourself and your feelings of loneliness. Tremendous benefits in a number of ways.

Cultivate your friends. Not to get dates, but to enhance your life and help you move your focus from loneliness. Just give the man search a break. You can always go back if you want.

Men can sense fear/desperation. Bad thing. Ok, you probably don't think you're desperate, but it sorta sounds like you are. How to handle? Find a different focus. You're life can be fun, full and never boring whether you're seeing someone or not.

Love men. Don't automatically look for a label or a reason to disqualify them before you know. Men are interesting and exciting people and like women you probably know, some are assholes some are not.

Re-evaluate your standards for men. I didn't say lower them but honestly, I would not let smoking or baldness or some exterior thing stop me-life's way too short for that. You don't have to put up with bullshit, but cut some slack. None of us are perfect.

Do not do a married man. For all the reasons already posted.

Appreciate solitude. It's a gift and it is not lonely once you have filled your life in more meaningful ways.

While you're busy doing all of the above, invest in BOB. Battery Operated Boyfriend. And try to have a sense of humor about it all-

My 2 cents.

Peace-

[Longgrain]

42. A gracious kick

in support of you Lonely Ladies...

[shesemsmom]

44. You forgot one

DEAD..... sorry had to add it.

[Bluebear]

45. Don't tie your lonliness to romance

Really, and it's advice I should have taken myself in my life, try to cultivate friendships (which usually last longer than relationships anyhow). I don't know how old you are or anything about you, but rant/vent anytime. Lonliness is horrible.

[FizzFuzz]

46. I've been where you are now

I've been in a r'ship for about 9 years now, but while I was single, and it was a long time, I was the picture of desperation.

Guess I had much work to do on myself, which I was doing assiduously; when I was more ready, Mr. Fuzz did indeed show up.

I'm bi, so ya'd a thunk someone would have shown up sooner, since my options are wider, but nooooo, that's not how it worked.

I can't add much more, there's already alot of wise advice here. Just that if felt to me like when it was time for a change, it happened. (Mr. Fuzz Showed up at my door at 3 am, invited by my crazy ex-roomate--a guy--who was talking to him online and needed computer help.)

Work on yourself, continue being clear on what you want and don't want, and don't give up hope! Hope, but not in a desperate way that makes you beat up on yourself. Get busy doing good things, enriching things, fun things, to help get your focus in the present, not some sentimental past or fearful future.

Easier said than done, but if you look at this time as growth time for you, that gives it meaning.

Hope I made some sense here!! Do good things for yourself and others!
:hi:

[Zomby Woof]

47. This is the first I saw of this thread

So now I understand the new one rather better.

I thought you had a new boyfriend? Something go wrong? :-(

I am sorry. Since you needed to vent, I guess I can offer one of these: :hug: