Ok, what makes a rock song SUCK?

[Archae]

I mean, what ingredients are needed for a rock song to really stink?

I'll start it off, whenever a song repeats the same lyric more than 12 times in a row at the end of the song.
(Roxanne by The Police.)

[Sporadicus]

1. Pretty Much Eliminates The Who's Entire Catalog

although they didn't restrict the repeating to the END of the song.

[Drifter]

2. It is usually not the song ...

but the repeated play on commercial radio that can wreck a classic. American Pie is good example of this.

Cheers
Drifter

[Archae]

6. Oh gawds, that is true.

A good tune gets slaughtered by endless re-playing.
"Stairway To Heaven," great tune, done to death.

[Wat_Tyler]

3. David Lee Roth.

[Cooley Hurd]

4. A disco beat...

...or having Jeff Lynne as producer (the two are one in the same)...

[ProfessorGAC]

30. Your First, I Can Live With; Your Second, You Couldn't Be More Right

He's the most overrated producer since Phil Spector. Wall of mush!
The Professor

[mitchum]

45. Lynne barely edges out Don Was as worst contemporary producer

His Brian Wilson documentary proved that Was is also an overrated director.

[ProfessorGAC]

52. An Astute Observation

I don't like his production work either. I didn't see the documentary because i don't like the Beach Boys, so i didn't care to see the movie. But, i can certainly take your word for it.

BTW: At least Was doesn't turn every production into a wall of mush. It's overproduced, for sure, and he uses WAY too much compression, but i don't think he's in Lynne's dubious class.
The Professor

[donheld]

58. Don Was was god when he produced Bonnie Raitt

[StopTheMorans]

5. Bono sings it

*ducks*

[jonnyblitz]

64. i agree.

(also ducks)

[DelawareValleyDem]

7. Too much cowbell

"I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell"

Chris Walken playing producer Bruce Dickinson

[sans qualia]

10. nods in agreement

I hate cowbells.

[Left Is Write]

27. Oh, I *love* that sketch! It's one of my favorites.

[ProfessorGAC]

31. You're Wrong

If anything it would need MORE cowbell.
The Professor

[Khephra]

8. I'm with you, Archae. Not knowing when to end the song

"Yeah, lets just repeat the chorus a few more thousand times. That should make the song a hit!" -- Some generic garage band somewhere right now

[redqueen]

9. Me not liking it

of course.

[ProfessorGAC]

32. See, Once Again, We Agree

I don't like it, it sucks! So, if redqueen and i don't like something, it sucks. If one of us likes it, it doesn't suck.

See how simple that was!
The Professor

[Mika]

11. Crappy speakers

Rock is full range. Crappy speakers ruin any song.

[BigMcLargehuge]

12. synthesizer as a lead instrument (except in the case of The Who)

Example: Europe - The Final Countdown

Songs about space travel not performed by David Bowie

Example: Eurpoe - The Final Countdown

Songs by Swedish glam-rock bands

Example: Europe - The Final Countdown

[TlalocW]

15. LOL!

eom

TlalocW

[Archae]

16. Why do I get the feeling...

You don't like "The Final Countdown?" :evilgrin:

[redqueen]

21. I don't know this Final Countdown

but now I want to hear it, just for curiosity's sake.

Good thing you excepted Bowie. I might have had to smite you.

[name not needed]

23. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I hate that song

:argh:

[tridim]

25. What about "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter?

Another good example of the bad synth song is "Jump" by Van Halen, although I admit I liked it when I was a kid.

[ProfessorGAC]

34. Actually Frankenstein's Main Riff Is Synth & Two Guitars

One played by Ronnie Montrose and the other by Rick Derringer. It would be a lot easier to play a passable version of that song on one guitar than on a synth. Trust me. I've tried both.
The Professor

[tridim]

43. I consider the "riff" the rhythm part

The lead is synth.. Hum it..

Da da da da, da da da daaaaa, da da daaa da da.. synth lead.. repeat.

Then of course the wacky part in the middle is completely synth.

Regardless, I dig that song.

[Left Is Write]

28. Oh, THANK YOU. I thought I was the only person on the planet

who hated "The Final Countdown."

I cannot begin to to explain how much I loathe that song.

[MemphisTiger]

36. That song sucks on so many levels

[NoSheep]

29. That's the one. n/t

[underpants]

13. Saxophone instead of guitar

that is a sure sign that they really aren't even trying anymore.

[bobbobbins]

18. no way, alot of Bruce Springsteens greatest songs feature the sax

[underpants]

24. Well I don't really count Bruce as a guitar band

I know they have lots of guitars (how many exactly?) but that wasn't what I meant anyway---I was speaking of the Stones

[bobbobbins]

26. I always liked waiting on a friend

[jjmalonejr]

41. Lotta sax in "Can You Hear Me Knockin'"

and that song rules!

[underpants]

62. That is the one I was thinking of and it could have rocked more

I'm just saying

[giant_robot]

44. I'd like to suggest an exemption for the band Morphine.

Otherwise, I agree.

[TlalocW]

14. It's performed by anyone on

American Idol.

TlalocW

[Archae]

17. Like that Hung guy?

He's baaaaack, BTW... :wow: (barf)

[Archae]

19. Another one...

Same 3 chords or less than 10 notes comprise the entire song.

Entire Steve Miller Band collection and "Born In The USA" by Barfstein.

[tridim]

33. I guess you don't like punk then?

95% of rock is 3 chords and 10 notes.

[bobbobbins]

20. Anything Dated...lyrics, instruments, gimmicks...

stuff that makes you look luck a schmuck 5 years later.

[Forkboy]

22. The word "love" anywhere in it

[Wat_Tyler]

35. I'VE GOT IT! I'VE WORKED OUT THE ULTIMATE REASON!!!!

A rock song sucks.........if I don't like it!

[ProfessorGAC]

37. Too Late!

redqueen and i already have that franchise.
The Professor

[Wat_Tyler]

39. Dammit.

There is a downside to having you two on ignore, isn't there? }(

[ProfessorGAC]

40. Nyah, Nyah, Nyah!

Remember what happened in Fatal Attraction, when he ignored her! Dangerous, dangerous game you're playing. It happened in a movie, so it must be true.
The Professor

[Bunny]

46. You gonna kill his bunny?

;)

[redqueen]

48. Awwww, Livvy, darling...

Are you saying you don't love me anymore?

:P

[derby378]

38. A rock song sucks...

...if it gets hung up on its own ego. This covers most of the stuff by Pink Floyd after Roger Waters left.

[Liberal Veteran]

42. The moment they try to market it as "High Concept"....

Which really means they ran out of creativity and wrote the songs while they were high.

[mitchum]

47. The schlocky hands of Linda Perry, Desmond Child, and Diane Warren

[dean_dem]

49. "YOOWWW!!!!!"

If you hear that at the beginning of any song, its pretty safe to say its won't be worth your time.

"Are you ready to....????" followed by any verb applies to that also. If I'm ready, there's no need to ask.

[CanuckAmok]

50. Use of the term "Baby". Replace "Baby" with "Satan" in any song....

...it's much better that way.


Oh, and if anyone else rhymes "knees" with "please" in a song, I'm going to hunt them for sport:

"I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please"... you know what I'm talking about.

[ElaineinIN]

54. Similarly

In college we had a game with "love" where you would replace it with your choose your own favorite slang term for female genitalia... ours started with an m, was relatively inoffensive, or as inoffensive as you can get given the category. The friend who made up the game was an Elvis fan....

[motely36]

56. I love Bread!

Take it back now.

[Beer Snob-50]

51. let sammy haggar sing it

he is terrible. and a worse fate would be to let him write a song.

[NoodleBoy]

53. no matter what, a parent bouncing/nodding their head to ANY song will

make it suck. my dad ruined Metallica's entire Black Album for me by doing that. I still to this day can't listen to it without feeling repulsed. Sad But True is forever lost to me.

[henslee]

55. The word "baby".

[mattclearing]

57. A fade out. No rock song should EVER fade out.

Fade outs are lame. It's like a big cop-out...we don't know how to end the song, so let's fade it out.

[Malocchio]

59. Cliche lyrics

"baby", "johnny", "angel"

also any references to "rocking", "rock 'n roll"

[dean_dem]

60. "Rock" can be used well in some songs.

Example: "For Those About to Rock, We Salute You." AC/DC, "I Love Rock N' Roll" Joan Jett. And maybe for camp value "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister.

Those songs rock, for lack of a better word.

[ImpeachBush]

61. Personally, it depends on the TYPE of rock song ....

I love granite tunes and limestone tunes aren't bad either, but when you start talking about schist or marble or any of those other metamorphic rock songs, well, I just can't take it.

[musiclawyer]

66. The sound of one hand clapping

There are too many answers to the question because the underlying support for any assertion takes into account subjective tastes, bad experiences etc. Personally, there are some ubiquitous criteria that we've all touched upon--bad vocals, bad mix, over-repetition, same song disguised before in different clothing etc. Often it comes together in bad song perfect storm like.....say..... anything done by Quiet Riot.

[mr blur]

63. U2 (n/t)

[48pan]

65. Long Drum Solos

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Traintime, Toad, Moby Dick

[48pan]

67. Endless Endings

The Allman Brothers had some songs where the last chord was longer than the last 4 verses.

[lazarus]

68. hyping a group suggestion

Music fans, I've suggest a music group here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=210x3190

Come join in!