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I just got a very sad e-mail from one of my childhood friends

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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:32 PM
Original message
I just got a very sad e-mail from one of my childhood friends
We have stayed in touch over the years and we have been friends since 7th grade.

I got a Wedding announcement from her in the mail yesterday announcing she had remarried her Ex. I was stunned (having not heard anything about this) and I was hoping she had found love for this man.

the e-mail I got this morning confirmed all my fears. She remarried him for the children. The have 2. She is not in love with him and nothing has changed. He is still the same insensitive - idiot he always was. He father died in Sept and she said she needed a sense of family around her. *sigh*

The frist thing I did after reading this was go to CO Liberal and cry. And let him hold me. I am so sad for her - and ultimately the kids.

I don't even know what to say to her. Thing is she is an amazing woman and she fears she will never know love.

What a way to start the day. :(
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. That is sad
How old are their children? I wonder how they feel about the remarriage. :(
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. I think they are like 12 and 8
and her youngest her son has all kinds of behavioral difficulties that her Dr. keeps telling her are because of the divorce and they will all settle down after they re-marry. Sounds like this Dr is an idiot to me.

The kids from what she says - are extremely happy that they have remarried. That still doesn't make it the right thing to do.
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ronnykmarshall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. That is just wrong.
My parents tried to get back together a few times. Once before they actually divorced and a few years later.

I think they might have made it work, but my mom just didn't want to take that chance again.

I know that they still loved each other, but it was for the best.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. That doctor's advice is absurd
It's akin to advising an unhappily married couple to have a baby to improve their marriage (I know someone who was told that by a marriage counselor...). Your poor friend. That sucks. :(
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I may be off base but I smell "fundie doctor". (nt)
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. She does live in Florida
and her Dr. will not write a prescription for her son that he needs for his ADHD because he tells her he will calm down after a few months of having his family back together. *sigh* Apparently her son has ADHD - ODD and is dyslexic and her pediatrician refuses to give her the medication he needs.

Sounds like an asshole to me - but she is so exhausted she can't fight him anymore.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. If they remarry their ex, that should disqualify 'em from future divorces?
Seems fair, yes?
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. LOL
I'm not sure it works that way.
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HEAVYHEART Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
5. Damn
She'll realize one day that she made a mistake. Hopefully soon. I've been there. I was married for 7 years, we had/have two beautiful kids. My marriage was over by the 2nd year but I stayed with him "because of the kids". I hated every single minute of it. I hated him. I hated sleeping in the same bed with him, I hated looking at him. But I stayed. Long story short, seven years into our marriage, we finally divorced. We now share custody of the kids, we are friends again, and our children are much happier now.

Sorry. :-(
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asjr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. You were smarter than I was. I stayed far too long and have
regretted it ever since. To this day I do not know what made me return to him. The children were one reason, but they were not fond of him either. He is deceased now.
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readmylips Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
9. Women must do what they have to....
especially when women don't make enough money to support their children. Some husbands also want to remarry because it is financially better for them.
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. She is quite capable of taking care of herself and her kids
She has always been very capable and very independant.

Both her parents are gone now and I think that had a bearing on her decision.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
10. support her
and be there when it falls apart again
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 01:05 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. I will skittles
I'm just so sad about this. :(
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. she has made her choice
Edited on Wed Dec-29-04 01:08 PM by Skittles
all you can do is be a real friend. :)

Resist the urge to tell her what you're thinking - she already knows it. And when it falls apart don't say I TOLD YOU SO - she will already know that too.
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VaYallaDawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
16. Princess, the best thing this gal has going for her
is a good friend like you.
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