What if Parrots Ran the World?

[AlienGirl]

I was just reading about tool use in Hyacinth macaws. They apparently use sticks to hold nuts in place so they can break them easier. I happen to know cockatoos use tools; they can even pick locks if you're not careful.

On the other hand, parrots seem to like destroying technology. Gideon has eaten all the buttons off the remote controls and wants to take the mouse apart so he can get the mouse wheel out. (He likes rolling it with his finger-like tongue.)

So that got me thinking...What would technology developed by parrots look like?

Hmmmm?

Tucker

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. Well, if my little girl is any indicator...

technology would exist as another target to poop on. ;-)

[AlienGirl]

2. No! In that world...

WE would be the ones pooping on things!!

Tucker

[buddysmellgood]

29. WE would be the ones pooping on things!! awwwk

[HCeline69]

3. "This John Cleese is dead!"

"No, he isn't. He's pinin' for Cambridge."

[Robeson]

4. Some birds have already broken that important....

....evolutionary barrier, by being able to communicate in a spoken language. Not just the "secret language of birds" (thanks Ian Anderson!) but actually in our tongue. And not just in copying what we say, but in actual language structure, and meaning, and symbols.

[AlienGirl]

5. Gideon does (when he wants to)

He has constructed some astonishing sentences, like, "I throw!" just before tossing books off the computer table, or "Don't gotta potty" when I asked if he had to.

Tucker

[Robeson]

6. Exactly...

...they are a lot further along than our ancestors were when the dinosaurs ran the world. We, at that time, were rodents. Some birds are already at the stage of verbally communicating with us. It is amazing, and they may be the ones who end up inheriting the earth.

[AlienGirl]

7. That'd be neat...

Though I doubt it, because birds are more sensitive to pollution and environmental changes than mammals are (lots of bird species are becoming extinct right now, in fact).

But think of their technology...what would a computer for a bird look like? Let's assume a zygodactylous foot-hand. Parrots are mostly left-footed, so we should assume the psittacine-of-the-future will be as well.

I'm picturing a four-key by eight-key keyboard; or else an arrangement where the letters are entered by rolling something in the mouth, instead of tapping at things with the fingers. And the screen will have to have a *very* fast refresh rate or it would look like it's flickering.

Tucker

[Robeson]

8. Good points...

...and yeah, I know I was being overly optimistic. It seems the human race is bent on taking everything out with it...

Which probably means, the insects will inherit the world.

[AlienGirl]

12. Do you think parrots would invent a wheel?

[Robeson]

17. Who knows? Or maybe they would invent something...

...that would dramatically advance them, that would make the wheel look like a flint tipped spear!

[AlienGirl]

18. Like what? I want to know your ideas!

[Robeson]

19. Who knows? We didn't know about the wheel, until one day...

...someone said "Eureka!!", this round thing has a lot of uses! So for avians, who knows? Since they can fly, quick communication and travel would clearly not be the problem for them as it was for our ancestors. So what great thing they would come up with, which would pertain to their culture, and which would take them to that next evolutionary step, is probably something we couldn't even comprehend, or would relate to, because it would have no significance or meaning in the context of our culture.

[AlienGirl]

20. Yes! And...

Isn't it interesting to imagine what it might be?

[Robeson]

21. Yes, thats how we expand our minds....

...and imaginations...

[buddysmellgood]

32. Like what, like what awwk

[buddysmellgood]

30. Gideon does, Gideon does awwk

[auntAgonist]

9. we'd have saltine crackers for currency?

[AlienGirl]

10. Naw...poppyseed cakes!

[auntAgonist]

11. polly want a ???? poppy seed cake?

:)

[buddysmellgood]

31. poppyseed, poppyseed awwk

[kodi]

13. well, i think jimmy buffet would be way more popular than he is now

.

[PallasAthena]

14. They wouldn't have attacked Iraq or cut taxes for the wealthy ...

[AlienGirl]

15. When parrots attack, they use Squak and Awww!

[PallasAthena]

27. GROAN!!!

[Schema Thing]

16. Shock Collars for all those human fuckers

who can't stop saying "polly wanna cracker?"

[Ellen Forradalom]

22. They do.

They're called "the media."

[Robeson]

24. Touche'

[stackhouse]

23. ?????

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[St. Jarvitude]

33. You win the most annoying poster of 2004 award.

Congratulations!

[u4ic]

25. Jobs would take up very little of our life

It's party time, people!! We would laugh and play and dance AND it would be mandated by law.


No need for any more hairdressers or spas...we'd preen each other!

Also, think of some of the exercise machines...a lot of them would look like their little foot toys. Sales of Anti gravity machines would skyrocket.

[AlienGirl]

26. Jobs would mostly involve biting things, I think...

Exercise machines would have big wooden chewy-blocks on them, and we would get most of our exercise by flying! Most transportation humans use would be obsolete because of the flying thing. Parrots would develop airplanes sooner than cars or boats.

Tucker

[buddysmellgood]

28. What if Parrots Ran the World? awwwk