whistle
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Wed Jan-12-05 11:55 PM
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A belated Christmas wish - from Mom |
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Merry Christmas Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother.
I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies. Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave.
Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Berta and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots in her hair who stole you screaming from my bosom. Merry Christmas,. Love, MOM
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CatBoreal
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Wed Jan-12-05 11:58 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Why is my monster-in-law writing to you?? |
whistle
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Thu Jan-13-05 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
5. I hear from nearly all mothers-in law |
KitchenWitch
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Wed Jan-12-05 11:58 PM
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2. that is the mother of all guilt trips LOL |
candy
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Thu Jan-13-05 12:08 AM
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3. I'm a mother,mother-in-law,and grandmother. |
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Even I think it's funny----sometimes we just can't help ourselves with the guilt thing.
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Maat
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Thu Jan-13-05 12:11 AM
Response to Original message |
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this is not for real, is it?
If it isn't, good joke.
If it is, I'm sorry, and you and yours must dissociate from this evil at once!
I did about twenty years ago - only have seen her once since then - and I've lived relatively peacefully! La Buf is my mom, though, not Hubby's.
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whistle
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Thu Jan-13-05 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Actually it was passed on to me as a joke, I have the greatest... |
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...mothers-in-law any son-in-law could wish for. That's correct, two of them. One had passed on five years ago and my other mother-in-law is 91 years young. She still plays baseball with her great-grandchildren.
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Maat
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:13 AM
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7. I had a feeling - so I laughed out loud! |
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But I worried for a second! Believe it or not, there are some really mean moms out there - I KNOW.
Anyway, thanks for the yoke.
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WritersBlock
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Thu Jan-13-05 06:04 AM
Response to Original message |
8. Gonna send this to my mother-in-law. |
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She'd love it - she's the best mother-in-law anyone could ask for.
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shesemsmom
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:11 AM
Response to Original message |
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That even puts my BITCH M I L to shame!!!!!!!
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Radical Activist
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:15 AM
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10. This is going to be my Mother |
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when I get married. I can see it now. She's not too far off already.
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whistle
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
11. Oh, I'm so sorry, just remember matricide is the worst type of... |
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...murder for a son to commit and should be avoided if at all possible (source: the investigative psychologist in the original movie "Psycho"):spank:
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DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Tue May 07th 2024, 01:02 AM
Response to Original message |