If you've lost a pet recently, have I got a bizarre concept for you...

[LanternWaste]

C.S. Lewis once wrote (I think it was in his book, "Mere Christianity") that animals are dumb and without grace. That's kind of a hard bit of information for an animal lover like myself to swallow. I've never heard too many serious arguments even amongst the church layity about the eventual destination of an animal's soul. It's either, "Of course they go to heaven" when you're speaking to a child or (in the case of my me and my friends) a quiet and honorable memorial within the mind of the person who's lost the animal.

Anyyway, over the weekend, my thirteen year old godson lost his dog to disease brought on by old age. Alex had the dog since he was two years old, so he doesn't even remember when Buttons (yes, that really was the dog's name) wasn't around and Alex has been taking it pretty dreadfully. And I absolutely empathize. I put my own sweet dog down on Jan. 21 of this year. I've known this entire week that Alex was coming over after school today to stay for a few days while his parents are out of town. I also know he's at that age where the platitudes we reserve for kids are starting to get on his nerves. So I thought I'd dig around and see what different thinkers over the years had to say on the subject for him and I came across this in "Mere Christianity" by Lewis (I'm going to paraphrase). It may be of comfort to ANYONE who has lost a dear pet and I thought I'd share it with you...

Yes, animals are dumb and go without the grace of God. There really is no soul (much different from spirit, mind you) in a dumb animal. But humanity has changed the equation over the past thousands of years. We have not only accepted animals into our homes, we've accepted animals into our lives and our families and our hearts. We have fundamentally shared part of the grace given to us to the pets we love.

Is there any doubt that the dog you've had for the past ten of fifteen years knows you better than most people you work with? My own Henry knew my feelings sometimes better than I knew myself. Easy to say that it is simply a learned habit the animal picks up, and I can agree with that- until the day comes that you arrive home from work feeling sorrier and more more pitiful than you've felt in years for whatever reason and the only thing you want to do is crawl under the covers and put up a Do-Not-Disturb sign on your front door for the next 48 hours. Yet isn't it in that precise scenario when your dog slowly approaches you, puts her head in your lap and gives you a look of empathy and sorrow for you? She wrangles her way onto your lap even though she's much too big for that and you know, you *know* that she feels bad for you worse than you feel bad for yourself as she nuzzles your neck.

Even then, I could understand the arguments of learned behaviour. But it's that *look* she gives. The one that tells you, "Hey, whatever you need, tell me and I'll do it because I hate to see you feeling like this." It's in these moments when the grace we've imparted to them becomes fully illustrated. A point is reached for a few lucky animals on this planet when they become not only acculturated into our lives, but into our hearts. That's what I think Lewis was talking about when he says we "enoble" the animals that we love. Our grace, our nobility and even our humanity can't help but raise them above the plane of "mere animals" to something a little bit more. We think we share a lot with our pets. Lewis thinks we've been sharing a lot more with them. He thinks (and I agree) that we share our own spirit with the pet, regardless of whether we attempt to do that or not. That we have imparted to them our our love. The unconditional love our pets have for us is requited by us in many, many ways. If the animal that you've recently buried in the back yard was mourned, if the loss is still palpable and hard to endure, bear in mind one thing: that's a good sign that your pet was no mere dumb animal, but a creature of grace and love.

This is what I told Alex this evening over dinner and it was hard for both of us. Hard for Alex because he lost his beloved pet. Hard for me because I wanted to grab the sorrow from him and dispose of it, but I knew that's impossible. And also because it turns out I'm not completely over the death of my own dog ten months ago or not. But I think he understood. He's a smart kid and very insightful at times and although he's gonna be hit hard by this for a pretty long while, I think he got it. I'd be a cruel person if I told him this and didn't believe it myself, but I do. And since it's something that I believe and it's something that affects a lot of us- I've noticed more animal lovers at DU than just about any other place, physical or otherwise than I can think of- I thought I'd share it with you. It may bring any of you who have lost a pet recently some comfort. It brought me comfort when I read it, it brough Alex comfort hearing it and comfort is a thing in short supply these days, so here- have some.


(I'm not usually this maudlin, but Alex has me feeling pretty misty eyed right now...)

[Mari333]

1. I lost my dog 4 weeks ago

I dont think of animals, non human, as not close to god, whatever the hell god is..I think of non human animals as closer to whatever god is then I am.
I look up to the non human animals in my house as sacred..they are far more intelligent then any humans I know...they live with love and kindness, gentleness and compassion..they arent mean, they dont make nuclear weapons or kill for their egos..
I consider my parrot, my dogs, my cats and all the other animals that live on my 13 acres to be far more intelligent and far more godlike then I could ever be...I wish I were more like them, and I consider them my mentors in all things.

[LanternWaste]

3. I know precisely what you mean

I know precisely what you mean. I think my own late hound had taught me a few more lessons about life and happiness than I'd care to admit. However we define the reason, or whoever we thank for it, I'm sincerely glad that humanity has been given the chance to learn from those silly, flop-eared, brown-eyed, furry, loyal and loving creatures.

[mmm]

4. so true, and so apparent to those who take the time to look

I am in continual awe of all the animals living with me.

[liberalmuse]

2. That's beautiful!

Your godson is very lucky to have someone like you in his life. I've lost many a beloved pet, and it still hurts after many years. This is the first time I've seen it, but I love that essay by Lewis.

[roguevalley]

5. but for the grace of ? all of us go. we are part of the animal kingdom too

something that we forget to our own peril.

My dogs know minutes before they even see or hear me that I'm coming.
Animals are God's grace for us all. So are plants. I love the natural
world and all its denizens. Animals have a soul. They have heart. They feel pain.

I pity anyone who can't perceive that.

[roguevalley]

6. also,

my dachshund, Gretchen, who was 20 when she died accidentally taught me more about loyalty, friendship, unconditional and unqualified love,
beauty and grace than anyone else ever. Not even love of God comes close to that. I cried for a solid year when she left, that is how
big she was in my heart.

Even 9 years later, I cry. I don't mourn people like that. She was so wonderful and I thank god that I got up and let her into my room when she was old and scratching on my door, even when it irritated me because I would remind myself some day she won't be there to do that and I'll miss her.

I do. Like fury. Few people equal that with me and no one outside of my parents ever gave me that much love and devotion.

[LanternWaste]

9. I sincerely hope I have not offended you in any way...

I completely understand. I honestly don't think there's ever been a living creature that knew my moods, my foibles...even my fears better than my Henry did.

I never cried when when my father passed on. I didn't shed a tear when an ex-roomate was in an accident and lost his life. It's not that I didn't feel sorrow, but I simply told myself to deal with it and move on.

When I put Henry down this past winter, I spent a weekend in bed throwing up and weeping harder than I can ever remember doing. And even now I feel the loss and see a hole in the world and in my life where she should be.

Please don't think that I minimize or trivialize animals. I love them dearly and weep in my heart when I see them mistreated. Much like I would for a child... the unconditional love and dependence they have on us magnifies the cruelty we inflict on them.

I sincerely hope I have not offended you in any way. That was not my intent and if that was the outcome, I offer you my apologies.

[comsymp]

7. Wonderful message

I shared this with my SO, who usually won't come near a political board- the timing of your message couldn't have been more appropriate.

Our second-oldest cat died early this morning so we've been pretty quiet today, not really comfortable talking with each other beyond superficial things. Sharing your message was just what we needed.

Thank you.

-cs

[LanternWaste]

8. You and your SO have my deepest sympathies and my best thoughts...

Your cat, your SO and you have my deepest sympathies and my best thoughts right now.

Although I used dogs as the example, cats are truly magnificent and beautiful creatures.

I once read a book entitled "Watership Down" by Richard (?) Adams. It was about a warren of rabbits that had to leave their home and find a new one. It was even made into a very moving movie.

At the end, after the happily-ever-after was resolved, the aging and noble Chief Rabbit (hero of the story) was close to death. Rather than simply have a dramatic death scene, the Lord of the Rabbits appeared to the hero and said something to the effect of, "I don't think you need your body anymore. You are ready to leave with me and run in the glorious fields elsewhere. So let's just leave your body here and get ready for the journey..."

I cried after reading that.

[Faygo Kid]

10. Beautifully done - a suggestion

I just lost my cat (15? She was a stray. Had her for 13 years). More of a dog person, but loved them all. Currently petless for the first time in 16 years. I have put together one of those frames with spaces for about 20 separate photos with pics of my pets going back to when I was a kid (half a century ago). Very comforting to see the continuity and all the love every day. Like the Wizard in Oz said, it's not how much you love, it's about how much you are loved by others. That's what pets are all about.

[LanternWaste]

14. Thanks for that

I have a shoe box filled with pictures of her in various places. I think I'm going to take you up on your suggestion and get a picture frame to put the best ones (i.e., the ones that make me cry) in it and prominently place it above my computer.

Thanks for that.

[havocmom]

11. LanternWaste, you did well.

And to you, your godson and all others feeling the special pain of loss of beloved friends with fur, I recommend a book: Goodbye, Friend by Gary Kowalski. It has lots of different ways of looking at this deep relationship and the tremdous sense of loss we feel. There are some good perspectives in the book.

Not being an adherant of traditional western religious doctrine, I have no trouble believing an animal has a soul. Love is eternal and if an animal loves (and many do so much better at this than some humans) then that animal has an essence which is eternal. Love is an energy.

From the mentioned book (you guys all remember Koko, the gorilla who learned to converse in American Sing Language?):
<snip> When Koko.... was asked the question, "Where do gorillas go when they die?" she responded to her trainer with the gestures "comfortable / hole / bye (touching fingers to lips as if kissing a person bood-bye)." Her answer suggests that other species have given some thought to what might lie beyond this would...

Now in my own experience, many critters are aware. My beloved Smudge slept with me most of her last night. She then went to Louie and put her head tenderly on his hip and laid her paw on his back as he slept. She stayed with him for a bit then went to her dear Havoc and touched him for a longer time. Watching this made me think of Spock in that Trek movie where he died... touching McCoy and saying "Remember". Then she went off to the other room, got under a piece of furniture and finally died with me and my daughter watching over her, encouraging her that it was OK for her to leave us and her old, tired body behind. Lord, what pain. Then, 2 years later, when Havoc was old and dying, Louie was so kind and tender to him. Never was really like that before. Havoc had stopped grooming and I gave him a rub with washcloth daily but his fur was not tidy anymore. The night before he died, Louie must have spent hours grooming him. He was magnificant in the morning, feebly tried to come to see us (tho blind now) and let me carry him outside to feel the sunshine. He died and Louie just sniffed then walked by... he knew Havoc wasn't in the empty shell that was left behind.

After Smudge died, Havoc took up several of her routines, one of which was to "tuck us all into bed" at night. When Havoc passed, Louie assumed this duty. He is old and slow now but has trained the young dog well.

Do they have souls? Do they love? Do they consider their passing? Oh, I would say so... Love is eternal. Love is bigger than one species. And I do believe if there are angels who watch over us and love us, some had four feet and fur in an earlier time.

[LanternWaste]

13. Well, you've just inspired me...

Well, you've just inspired me to get a book or two about Koko. One of the great mysteries to me has always been, "What do animals think about? What do they feel? What's makes them feel joy or sorrow?"

Of course, one could flippantly say, "The same things that make us feel joy or sorrow...". But I actually think that THAT response minimizes all creatures great and small. They ARE different from us. They obviously have different threshholds, different catalysts and different responses than we do. I'd like to glean a bit more insight into that and maybe reading about Koko and the emotional attachments his humans had for him and the interpretations they read into his communications.

There's a part of me that feels trapped inside my single mind, knowing that there are a vast number of emotions to experience that in this human vessel I'll never be aware of. But maybe I should look to more fundamental (more base, if you will) lenses to attempt to see them or at least, understand them; in other words, look to the beasts to more fully understand my own self.

Thank you for the suggestion. :)

[Loyal]

12. Absolutely beautiful

I can tell you really love animals; I love my dog with all my heart, so I can empathize. :(

[BQueen]

15. Thank you for

sharing your beautiful summary/interpretation of Lewis and your experience with your godson. I think you did a wonderful job. Obviously his parents made a wise choice.

I whole heartedly believe that animals understand us far better than most think, and that the only real limits to our communication with them are self-imposed. (If you haven't ever seen it, check out "The Pet Psychic" on Animal Planet sometime. Draw your own conclusions, but animals seem to respond to her in an amazing fashion.)

One of the things I feel is the most important about allowing animals in our lives is not the unconditional love that we receive, but the unconditional love that we may freely give, knowing that it will always be welcome. For many, the loving relationship with their pet(s) is the only *pure* love they experience, whether or not they are in a committed relationship.

I always encourage those who have lost a SO to get a pet if they don't already have one. It's so important to be able to give love to another, and you can't just turn around and find another person to be so close, to feel comfortable being with. (Plus, if it's a dog, it forces you out of the house.)

Whenever I miss a pet I've lost, I remember this old Twilight Zone episode. An old-timer went coon-hunting in the hills one day with his dog, the dog fell in the river and the man died trying to save him. They walk off down a country road and come to a gate with a guy saying he's St. Peter. Just over the hill are the Elysian Fields and the heavenly choirs, etc. When the man tries to bring his dog, the guy says there's another place for them, just leave him tied up here. The man reckons he'll just pass on a Heaven that's nothin' but harp playin' and no coon-huntin'.

He continues and meets a younger man on the road who says he's been looking for him to take him to Heaven. "Who was the other guy?" "Oh him, well he tries to trick a lot of people." "Why wouldn't he let my dog in? He would have gotten me." "Well, people will walk straight into Hell, but your dog wouldn't have let you go. Besides, what would Heaven be without your dog?"

Thanks for reminding me of all the wonderful pets I've loved and lost, and know I will see again someday.

[REP]

16. You're Right; It IS Bizarre

I won't bother you with what I think of CS Lewis. I'm just remind everyone that Randall Terry says Lewis was a great influence on him.

Francis of Assissi was much less arrogant about his humanity, and said that animals do have souls. I much prefer Francis's thoughts, works and life to Lewis's.

Incidentally, in 1990, John Paul II declared that animals do have souls, so this is now dogma in the RCC, for what it's worth.