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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:10 PM
Original message
Yo mama's so fat...
Her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
1. "Yo mama's so fat..."
only she gets a tan at the beach.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yo mama's so fat...
She eats Wheat Thicks.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. "Yo mama's so fat ..."
She is the zip code.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Yo mama's so fat ...
She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
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NYC Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Yo mama's so fat ...
When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

(OK, OK..I stole that from Jon! Sorry! :hi:)
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:21 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. "Yo mama's so fat..."
Edited on Tue Jan-25-05 11:22 PM by texas1928
the scales left, from the abuse.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. Yo mama is so fat...
That when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:30 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. "Yo mama's so fat..."
She gets her underpants the same place Barnum and Bailey buy their tents.
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:43 AM
Response to Reply #21
81. Yo momma's so fat...
...her bra size is a character from the Chinese alphabet.
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:44 AM
Response to Reply #3
53. You're so ugly that
when you were born the doctor slapped yo fat momma.
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central scrutinizer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #53
73. you're so ugly
your fat momma had to tie a porkchop 'round yer neck so the dog would play with you.
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #73
74. You're so ugly
you could make a train take a dirt road.
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Dhalgren Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yo mama is so fat...
that she gets her own segment on the local weather report!
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Yo mama is so fat...
We're in her right now.
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cags Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
4. her belt size is equator
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
6. When she sits around the house...
... she sits around the house :)
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
8. She ought to eat right & exercise more.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Yo mama is so fat...
She has been declared a natural habitat for condors.
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
12. Your mama's so fat...
...she gotta Spandex car.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:21 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Yo mama is so fat...
When she has sex, she has to pull out a map.
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nankerphelge Donating Member (995 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
13. Yo mama is so fat...
Edited on Tue Jan-25-05 11:21 PM by nankerphelge
she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Yo mama is so fat...
She wakes up in sections.
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nankerphelge Donating Member (995 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:26 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Yo mama is so fat...
you don't take her picture, you take her poster.
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Vektor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #13
23. I was going to say that!
:-)
You beat me to it!
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Biased Liberal Media Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
18. Why only fat jokes?? Seriously
HOw about...

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind kids cry...

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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #18
24. yo momma like a bowling ball
picked up and fingered and thrown in the gutter
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #24
70. You're bad,
very bad. :-)
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Boswells_Johnson Donating Member (526 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
20. she...um...ah...let's just say she's fat. Really, really fat.
:shrug:

But your daddy's so ugly he hurts my feelings!
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:33 PM
Response to Original message
22. You mama's so fat . . . .
. . . . she's got small objects orbiting around her!
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. Yo mama is so fat...
Whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
26. Yo mama's so fat
that before God said "Let There Be Light," he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. Yo mama's so fat...
You haveta roll over twice to get off her.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
27. "Yo mama's so fat...
when she goes to the lake, she leaves a ring around it."
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amerikat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
28. Yo momma so fat
She keeps her diaphram in a pizza box.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
30. Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
:)
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:44 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. Yo mama is so stupid...
Every time she blinks, she get lost.
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Yo moma's so stupid

She went to Orlando, saw a sign that said, "DisneyWorld: LEFT"


So she turned around and went back home.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. and it took her three weeks to get home
she kept "Clean Restroom" every few miles.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. Yo mama has a wooden leg with branches.
Yo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
:D
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. You're mama's so toothless

it takes her an hour to eat minute rice.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:54 PM
Response to Reply #36
43. Yo mama so poor .....when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #33
37. Yo mama's right leg is shorter than her left....

and they call the bitch "Eileen."
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. Yo mama so fat ....people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
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nankerphelge Donating Member (995 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
35. Yo mama is so fat...
she has to take her showers at the car wash.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
38. "Yo mama's so fat...
when she farts they raise the Terror Threat level."
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:50 PM
Response to Original message
39. Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies

On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue

Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that

Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet

Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like.... hehehe
Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and shit
Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, nigga
Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back
(You're a sellout) ya mama's a sellout nigga ya mama
Nigga ya mama did a pop tune nigga
Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her
Your mother got an Ouija board on her back
Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin
His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section
Tre's mama got Playdough teeth
Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and shit
Ya mama's an extra on the Simpsons and shit
Ya mama's so fat you can't even see her legs
it just looks like she's just gliding across the floor...


yes that's a real song
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #39
44. come on someone on here's got to know this
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #44
47. Oh I remember it

nt.
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:01 AM
Response to Reply #47
51. *sigh*
i keep forgetting that this board is mostly middle aged classic rock and folk junkies
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nickgutierrez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:12 AM
Response to Reply #39
52. What song is that?
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 02:36 PM
Response to Reply #52
57. The Pharcyde - Ya Mama
off one of the best debut albums ever, Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde
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nickgutierrez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #57
71. I just D/Led it
Good song. :thumbsup:
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DinahMoeHum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #39
61. Who does that song?? LMAO !!
Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 03:23 PM by DinahMoeHum
Two snaps and a (blank) "In Living Color"

:evilgrin:
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DinahMoeHum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #61
62. Never mind, I saw the above post. Thanks.
:evilgrin:
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #61
66. Pharcyde - Ya Mama
off Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
41. Yo mama's so fat

That when she sings Reuben Studdard's "Sorry For 2004," she's sorry for weighing 2004 lbs.
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-25-05 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
42. yo mama so ugly
when she was a kid, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck just to get the dog to play with her! :)
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:04 AM
Response to Reply #42
45. Yo mama's so stupid...
She got hit by a parked car.
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #45
48. Yo mama's so fat
Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 12:19 AM by TroubleMan
She jumped in the ocean in the Pacific, and killed 150,000 in SE Asia.

.....

Okay, I know ....that was wrong.
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #48
49. Well it's all fun and games until 150,000 people get hurt!
That joke was so wrong....I killed the thread.

Sorry.
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mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #49
50. eh it's alright
you can find humor in anything unless it happens to you
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iconoclastic cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
46. ...her ass has its own congressman!
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:48 AM
Response to Original message
54. Yo mama's so fat...
Marlon Brando bought her, mistaking her for a deserted island.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:52 AM
Response to Reply #54
55. Yo mama so fat...
That when you told her to jump she chipped the planet.
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flygal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 05:07 AM
Response to Original message
56. Yo mama's so old
in second grade she sat behind Jesus Christ
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dolo amber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 02:43 PM
Response to Original message
58. Yo mama's so short
you can see her feet on her driver's license picture. :D
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CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
59. She's So Stupid She Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company
:-)
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dbt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 02:59 PM
Response to Original message
60. Bow down before Chris Rock:
"Your mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck!"
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
63. Yo mama's teeth so yellow..
I can't believe it's not butter
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
64. Yo mama's so hairy
bigfoot takes her picture.
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Brewman_Jax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
65. Yo mama's so stupid
she tripped over a cordless phone.
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 06:17 PM
Response to Reply #65
72. Well that is entirely possible, if the phone was on the floor...
...or she triped on the phone jack...

Yo' mam's so fat she bleeds lard!
Yo' mama's so fat that if she were a plot she wouldn't get thick, she'd congeal!
Yo mama's so fat that Rush Limbaugh gave up his job!
Yo mama's so stupid that when someone said hoe down, she droped to the floor.
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Brewman_Jax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #72
78. If she did that, then...
yo mama IS so stupid. :P

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the sign "Wet Floor", she did.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had to ask the number to 911.
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, "one at a time, please."
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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:39 PM
Response to Original message
67. yo momma so fat,
she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
68. Yo mama's so po
she can't even afford the "o" and the "r."
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Patiod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
69. Your mama so stupid...
Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 04:26 PM by Patiod
she got fired at the M&M factory for rejecting all the "W's"
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #69
75. Yo mama's so old...
She goes to an archeologist to fix a broken bone.
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sleepyhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #75
77. She's so old
Her social security number is 1.
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
76. Yo mama's so fat...
last Sunday she walked between me and the TV and I missed half of "60 Minutes."
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da_chimperor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:40 AM
Response to Original message
79. Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family. n/t
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:42 AM
Response to Original message
80. your momma's so fat you could fill her belly button up with sand
and pretend your at the beach
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:46 AM
Response to Original message
82. Yo momma's so fat she went diving in Indonesia last December and...
...well, you can see what happened.
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
83. Yo momma stinks so much...
...a terrorist tried to mail her to a Senator.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
84. Periodic "dozens" threads in the lounge would be therapeutic. In GD
for that matter, too! :o
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WMliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
85. she put on a Malcolm X jacket and a helicopter landed on her.
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
86. You mama's so old she knew Burger King when he was a price
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
87. You're So Horny
The last time you felt a breast it was in a KFC bucket...
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
88. Your mother is so dumb she couldn't pass a blood test...
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giant_robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
89. Yo mama's so fat...
when she wears her red dress the kids yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"
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