Gloria
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:30 AM
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These two Bush jokes got rave reviews....enjoy!!! |
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A joke....
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb? > >A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
And a Story...
The President, the First Lady, and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One.
George looks at Laura, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy." Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Cheney says, "Of course, then I could throw one hundred $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says to his co-pilot, "Such big shots back there... hell, I could throw all of them out the window and make four billion people very happy."
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nothingshocksmeanymore
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:32 AM
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PartyPooper
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:34 AM
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intheflow
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:35 AM
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3. I love lightbulb jokes. |
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I'd heard the 2nd one before (and it made me laugh). But the first one is new, and cracked me up. Going out on my list. Thanks for the laugh.
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NYC
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:44 AM
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4. I love the second one. |
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I've already emailed it around. Thanks. :hi:
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livinginphotographs
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:45 AM
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My own: (probably heard it on DU, so I apologize in advance)
George Bush gets off Air Force One after his vacation to Texas, carrying two pigs, one under each arm.
The Secret Service man says, "Hello, sir. Who are the two pigs for?"
Bush answers, "Oh, I got these for Cheney and Rumsfeld."
The Secret Service man says, "Good trade, sir!"
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ignatius 2
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:51 AM
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14. BWAHAHAHA!! My grandpa was a pig farmer, may he rest in peace, but |
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he would have agreed with that ss dude 100%.
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OldLeftieLawyer
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Sat Jan-29-05 12:54 AM
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StaggerLee
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:00 AM
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Gloria
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:34 AM
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8. I'll kick for the later crowd... |
Zing Zing Zingbah
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:38 AM
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9. Those are great jokes. n/t |
ignatius 2
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:39 AM
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10. Only 4 Billion? Thanks for the much needed laughs. |
Glenda
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:16 AM
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20. How many people are on this earth? n/t |
nuxvomica
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:27 AM
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According to the International Programs Center, U.S. Bureau of the Census, the total population of the World, projected to 1/29/05 at 15:26:04 GMT (1/29/05 at 10:26:04 AM EST)
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Glenda
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:31 AM
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24. Hmmmm.. then I guess we have to revised that joke to... |
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6,415,520,746 - the 51 million. Although maybe some of the 51 million are beginning to regret their choice (we can hope)
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AllyCat
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:40 AM
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11. My cat is staring at me I'm laughing so hard! |
TheMightyFavog
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:47 AM
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12. Why does Laura always do it on top? |
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Because * can only fuck up.
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Gloria
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:53 AM
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Ekirh
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:05 AM
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:48 AM
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13. Bush and Cheney are in New York, and they are invited to dinner at the |
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home of Norman Podhoretz and Midge Decter, who promise a meal of traditional Jewish dishes.
Bush admits that he's nervous about going to dinner at the home of people who write essays full of such big words.
Cheney says, "Don't worry, I'll do all the talking. You just talk about the food like you do when go visit the Mexican or black communities."
The first appetizer is pickled beets, and Bush comments about what a pretty color they are and asks how they're made. This takes up a few minutes of conversation.
The second appetizer is lox, and Bush says that it's delicious and asks what lox is. This takes up a few more minutes of conversation.
The next course is matzoh ball soup, and Bush takes a spoonful of it. "Mmm, this is really good soup. Tell me, do you use any parts of the matzoh besides the balls?"
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Gloria
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Sat Jan-29-05 01:54 AM
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Misunderestimator
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Sat Jan-29-05 09:54 AM
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:thumbsup:
and now I feel melancholy... :)
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peekaloo
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Sat Jan-29-05 09:59 AM
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RetroLounge
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:20 AM
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21. THanks for the laughs! |
underpants
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Sat Jan-29-05 10:29 AM
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23. LOVE the lightbulb joke |
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Tue May 07th 2024, 08:35 PM
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