Who thinks Mothers have worse problems relating to Daughters than

[KoKo]

Fathers have relating to Sons? As both grow up and get into their 20's ..who relates best?

To clarify: My personal opinion (bias) from observation is that most (not all) Sons relate or "try to relate" to their Fathers, more than Daughters "try to relate" to their Mothers...

Alot depends on the size of the family though. The larger the family the more chance a Mother or Father has of having at least one of their kids try to relate to them. :D

[Chico Man]

1. Once I moved out my relationship with my dad turned great!

As long as I don't live there all is good.

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. As a woman...

I get along great with my mother, always have even through my teen years. However I did live a significant portion of them (13 on up) with my father. So I guess it would be only natural to "spar" with the parent that you see the most. Now that I am in my 20's I still get along with my mother (we are more like friends than mother/daughter). My dad and I still fight (he has trouble accepting that I'm an adult). So I really think it depends on the personality of the child and parent.

[ThoughtCriminal]

3. Probably true - except

I not sure that it comes from sons trying to relate. I think it's because dad's still enjoy more of the same things they did in childhood. For guys, "Army men" never get old.

[KoKo]

8. I wonder, though, if daughters aren't closer to their fathers? Whereas

with their mothers there's a rivalry that sons often have with their fathers. Just the fact that "same sexes" seem to want to carve out their own territories and show differences, so are more comfortable with the opposite sex who is less judgemental of the opposite sex. Mother/
Son and Father/Daughter...:shrug:

[Nikia]

4. In ways I want to be like my mother, in ways I don't

Although there are times that I have blamed my mother for a lot of things in my life and don't want to be like her at all, in other ways I really admire her and always wanted to be like her.
My mother got pregnant at 16 before her senior year of high school and married my dad a few months later. Her father told her that she was doomed and would never amount to anything because of this. My mother finished high school with her class and went to college, raised me (and later my sister), and worked part time. Unfortunately with the stress of college, working, and parenthood (my father was doing the same thing too), my parents divorced when I was little. My father dropped out, but my mother finished her degree. In my early childhood, she had a few different social service jobs before becoming a probation officer. During this time, she got a master's degree. She then got management positions in various community organizations. She became very accomplished in career.
On the otherhand, she suffered in her personal relationships. She is now married to her third husband. While my mother was off accomplishing things, we didn't get to spend as much time with her as we would have liked. Her second husband was an abusive step father and sometimes we felt that she put her marriage with him above us.
She is a very driven, determined individual who is very solid in her opinions and ideals. Unfortunately, on the personal level, this can translate into stuborness and the tendency to become angry with those who do not see things her way. It also leads to her becoming anxious very easily. Yes, I am like her, in both the ways that I would like and ways that I don't. Although I never told him, my husband once commented on how much I admire my mother. I guess that is why it is so hard to even talk to her. How do you deal with it when the object of your admiration tells you that you are wrong and aren't accomplished enough? I don't have children yet, but if I do, I don't want to become like her in that respect.

[KoKo]

7. I understand what you say...

thanks for sharing. I think there are conflicts there that "guys" have but it's in a different way...that's why I asked.

But maybe for both Mothers and Fathers our ideals of them somehow "morph" when we are old enough to see them as humans with foibels like we all have. I don't know what the "perfect" Mom and Pop would be do kids. I didn't have it..suspect most of us don't it's just how we deal with the reality later on..that we can grow to love them for what they are I was thinking about...but felt daughters had more problems than sons relating. That the "competition factor" is greater than anyone talks about with Mothers and Daughters whereas everyone "expects" competition between Fathers and Sons. :shrug:

[progressoid]

5. I was doing pretty well with my daughter until she got interested in boys

Now she'll talk to her Mom more than me. Hopefully that's just a phase. Of course Mom has a lot better advice about makeup 'n stuff.

[SarahB]

6. I get along great with my daughter.

Terribly with my mother. Sadly, she's a bit of a bitter, passive aggressive person who has never faced her own problems and therefore is the perpetual victim of everyone else. Growing up, I was an outgoing, cute, very smart kid, but she tore me to shreds at every opportunity (still does). I am civil, but I have to keep a healthy distance for my own sake. Basically, most people don't get it, so I don't like to talk about it.

I'm a very different parent which is probably why I have a better relationship with my children. I've done a lot of work to get past this and thankfully my father was a loving man, but unfortunately he abdicated most of his responsibilities for me to her, so that's a bit tough as well.

[Corgigal]

9. OMG

we are related somehow. I have two daughters and get along with them fine. My mother also loves to play victim and only enters my life when she has a need for some attention. I haven't talked to her in a few years now, it's sad but easier.

I also parent differently then my mother. I have to thank both my mother and step father for teaching me every thing not to do when raising a child. In fact I get along very well with all 4 of my kids.

[mark414]

10. my dad and i basically have identical personalities

which does not work out well when you live under the same roof

but we haven't gotten into a disagreement since the day i moved out...that really changes your perspective on things...

[shesemsmom]

11. My hubby and daughter have been at odds for years but lately they have

been trying to relate. Daughter is now 16 and Hubby 46. I on the other hand am hearing from both *you always take his/her side*
Now the daughter is telling me, you don't understand/ me/ what school is like/ kids/ ANYTHING I am the dumbest thing to happen since..... the beginning of the world. I am just a miserable failure all around until one of them need something.... money clean under ware
a ride lunch , supper. GGGGGGRRR am counting the days till they both grow up

[u4ic]

12. I don't know why

but I used to hear the little boy's chant "I want to grow up just like my dad!" whereas I never heard girls say the same thing about their mothers.

I've always found it a sexist remark - it may not be, but that's how I've taken it - that there is something inherently great about dads, but not about moms.

Mothers always seemed to be blamed when something goes wrong, but rarely ever credited when things go right. (of course, I'm not referring to abusive scenarios, etc)

I found it much easier to relate to my parents as we both aged. I lost my mum 7 years ago, and still miss her a lot.