Has anyone ever read The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker? It's a fascinating book that encourages women (in particular) to pay attention to their inner warning system, so they can better protect themselves from creepy people (usually men).
He says that if a man you barely know gives you flowers, and it sets off your inner alarm, listen to yourself. Never mind that your family, friends, or co-workers try to make you feel bad about being uneasy. They may say things like "Oh, he just has a crush on you", etc. Give yourself credit and pay attention to what your gut is telling you!!! He believes that woman are conditioned to be "nice" and not to hurt anyone's feelings, and this is what sometimes leaves us vulnerable.
Here's a link that has some pretty good descriptions of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0440226198/103-0836880-4578251An excerpt:
>snip<
Each hour, 75 women are raped in the United States, and every few seconds, a woman is beaten. Each day, 400 Americans suffer shooting injuries, and another 1,100 face criminals armed with guns. Author Gavin de Becker says victims of violent behavior usually feel a sense of fear before any threat or violence takes place. They may distrust the fear, or it may impel them to some action that saves their lives. A leading expert on predicting violent behavior, de Becker believes we can all learn to recognize these signals of the "universal code of violence," and use them as tools to help us survive. The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening. The case studies are gripping and suspenseful, and include tactics for dealing with similar situations.
True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?
The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy--what should you do?
You sense you are being followed --do you confront the stranger...or run?
A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"--should you take him seriously?
A person in the elevator you are about to enter just doesn't look right--do you wait for the next car?
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts.
>snip<
Sorry to bring such a serious subject to the Lounge. I'm not in a very chipper mood tonight.
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