What would you do?

[alarimer]

I have been emailing this guy who seems to be pretty nice, a true liberal in this vast wasteland of conservatism. He s really big on working out- I am too but I am kind of a slacker sometimes. Today he asked for another photo and then had the nerve to say I could lose a few pounds. My first impulse was to say "fuck you" and then never speak to him again because I am not going to meet someone or be with someone who would be too critical that way. But I didn't do that. I am seriously having second thoughts about even wanting to meet this person. Am I too sensitive?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. No, you're not too sensitive.

A guy who would make a remark about a person's weight (on the basis of a photograph, yet) obviously has all the sensitivity of a toilet seat. His politics might be OK but that doesn't make it acceptable for him to be a shallow prick.

[TreasonousBastard]

2. No, but...

it does kind of depend on the context he said it in.

Offhand, I'd say there's no reason to put that in an email, even as a joke, and the future with this guy looks pretty dim. If it was a joke it was a bad one, and if he was serious he just might be obsessed with your weight for all time.

But, you never know. He might not be obsessive, just not too bright about emailing.

Can't hurt to give it a shot and see how he really is.

[alarimer]

8. it is hard to tell from email sometimes

Although that was a oretty bald statement that really can't be misunderstood.

[TreasonousBastard]

11. Yeah, it was rude...

but it's an email, and a lot of people look like assholes in email.

He probably is a jerk, but it's not such a bad choice to gamble on wasting an evening to find out for sure.

[Lars39]

3. Don't waste another second on the pea brain.

You are not being too sensitive.
Why would you want to be around someone that makes you feel bad about yourself?
Life's too short for that.

[nytemare]

4. Sounds to me like sort of a jerk

If he still likes you and thinks you could lose a few pounds, he just could have enlisted you in his exercise regimen for health.

To come right out and say, "you could lose a few pounds", even if you could,(I know I can) seems like he is saying you are just not good enough for him. There are much better ways of saying what he said. He might have waited for you to say that you wanted to exercise and then said, "cool, I will exercise with you, we can motivate each other." But, he came right out and said "you could lose a few pounds."

If you already sent a photo, and he asked for another, he is very concerned with physical appearance.

I know there aren't a lot of dems out there. Just because somebody is liberal does not mean they aren't an asshole. Every group, even dems, have their good and bad. It took me a while to realize that. You should be able to find a dem out there who can respect you and work with you to reach your goals, and you can do likewise for him.

[alarimer]

6. well probably I won't put too much stock in him

The conversations are fun but maybe that is as far as it should go. He lives in another city anyway.

Well I did reply that I almost told him to shove it up ass and he replied "wow, I didn't mean to offend" so it was as if it never occurred that it would be a bad idea to say that. But emai is weird too; i find myself sating things I probably wouldn't to someone's face.

[nytemare]

9. If he didn't even think about offending you, that is a concern

He may be a narcissist. Narcissists can be very fun and charming at first, but end up only looking out for themselves. I don't quite have enough info to draw a total conclusion on that, but little clues give things like that away.

Good for you saying that, though!

[elshiva]

5. What Would Sappho Do?

[orleans]

7. if he's critical now--look at it this way...

it's only the beginning of a long history of criticisms to come.

blah.

[nytemare]

10. Yep, a beginning of a pathology!

I agree.