I have five months to train for my first trip to Las Vegas!

[Bouncy Ball]

In August, we are going to Las Vegas with my in-laws, who are paying for the whole trip. They want to go somewhere with us, something we've never done before.

We haven't seen them in 5 1/2 years and that's been just fine with us. Not to go into too much detail, but they are both two of the biggest reactionary conservatives I have ever seen. Father in law stopped listening to rush because he said "he's gotten too liberal." I'm not shitting you. They are both passive-aggressive as all get out, and bigoted to boot. Really not pleasant to be around.

HOWEVER. My father in law is dying of cancer. They originally only gave him a little while, but it's been extended and now he has about 18 months to two years. He wants all of us to go to Las Vegas together.

So while I appreciate that they are paying for it, and despite his flaws, I am pretty sad that he is dying (he's only 58, for crying out loud!!!!), I am going to have to practice doing smiles that look sincere, even when they aren't, and practice being impeccably pleasant and just NOT saying anything when I feel tempted to.

I think if I just keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for my husband and daughter and because it's one of my father in law's last wishes, I'll be ok.

What's there to do in Las Vegas, anyway?

[da_chimperor]

1. Strippers and beer.

Ah, how I do love gazing upon the boundless beauty that is the nude female body while imbibing the very nectar of the gods. :silly:

[Bouncy Ball]

2. Hmmmm

so that's not something we should do with a ten year old, I bet.

[da_chimperor]

5. Yeah, you're right.

Give him some sparkling cider instead. :evilgrin:

But seriously, I lived in Nevada for 15 years and mom never took me or any of the other kids to Las Vegas. She said that it was all sex, drugs, and alcohol. I'm not sure what kind of family-friendly activities they have . . . other than possibly going to lake Mead or the Hoover dam.

[BiggJawn]

8. Ten-year-old?

Oops...Your F-I-L should have been dieing 10 years ago, when LV was experimenting with a new "Family Friendly" image. They had an amusemnt park at the MGM Grand, the Mirage's pirate theme was more geared towards kids, etc.

After a few years it finally sunk in that the Baptists were not going to start bringing their families with them when they snuck in for a "little fun", so they went back to the tried and true formula: Slots, Sluts, and watered-down drinks.

The Fountains of Belagio and the Ventian Shops are pretty amazing, but other than that, I wouldn't take the kids. Especially at night when you walk down the strip and pause to read one of the pamphlets the silent Mexican folks are shoving at you.

I'm going out there middle of next month for a week. What do *I* do? Eat, watch the fountain, people watch and go to the convention I'm being paid to attend and nurse my blistered feet...

[Bouncy Ball]

10. Well THAT doesn't sound too promising.

And my mother in law already bought the plane tickets, booked the hotel rooms, everything.

Maybe we are going to see a few family friendly shows or something, if there are any?

:shrug:

I know my mother in law has already volunteered to take our daughter for the evening one evening and go out to dinner with her while Mr. Bouncy and I gamble somewhere.

It's four days. Sounds like they are going to be long days.

Wonder if I'll see Nicholas Cage drinking himself to death?

[BiggJawn]

19. A Reliable Source recommends "Circus-Circus"

for the young-uns.
You would probably find any of the Cirque du Soleil offerings a bit "mature" for a 10-y-o.

Can't recall who's got the big magic show this year...I think it's at the Aladdin. Blue Man Group at the Luxor, but that's pretty salty ($98)

[huskerlaw]

21. Depends on the kid

A friend and I took a 5-year-old to Cirque. He loved every minute of it and now watches it when it's on BRAVO. However, this child also sat through and loved the movie Castaway...in other words, he can sit still for HOURS.

If your kid can sit still that long, I highly recommend it. If you're worried about content (although I don't recall anything objectionable), try it out before you go...DVD or BRAVO.

[crispini]

3. The shows are pretty good.

Especially Cirque du Soleil. They're quite spendy though.

[XNASA]

4. Star Trek Experience at the Hilton

I am not, not have I ever been a trekkie, but....the Star Trek Experience, especially the 3D part of it (I won't give too much away), is awesome. Your FIL might not be able to go on the motion-based ride part, but he can do the 3D part, which is better anyway.

Also, Hoover Dam is not too far, then there's the shows. Lots and lots of shows. And if you get bored, you can just walk up and down the Strip like countless others do.

[Bouncy Ball]

15. I've heard about the Star Trek thing.

Mr. Bouncy and Little Bouncy are mild trekkies, so they might love that, thanks!

[jswordy]

6. SHIT! THAT'S NOT MUCH TIME. BEGIN DRINKING NOW!!!!

[Bouncy Ball]

7. Oh my GOD you just reminded me!!

I'm going to have plenty of access to alcohol. THAT'LL HELP!!!

But I MUST be careful not to imbibe too much or the tongue will get loose and start flying.

Did I mention my sister in law will be there? Did I mention she's the biggest bitch hag in the WORLD?

[jswordy]

9. SOLUTION: Have your jaw wired shut before you go!

Everything in your strictly alcoholic diet goes through a straw, and you can call her a worthless whoremongering bitch of a cunt, and no one will understand what you are saying!

I ROCK!

:headbang:

[crispini]

11. ROFL!

Too. Funny.

[Bouncy Ball]

12. I just tried saying that without opening my jaw at all

and you could tell every word I said except "worthless."

So maybe that's not so good, but hey that was an inventive idea!!!

LOL

[jswordy]

16. I couldn't tell what you said, so I dunno....

[CO Liberal]

13. Rent a Car And Go To The Valley of Fire State Park

About 60 miles northeast of Vegas, near the town of Overton. Red rock as far as the eye can see. When The Princess and I lived in Nevada, we went there every time we could.

[Bouncy Ball]

14. I'll suggest that.

The entire itenerary is up to in-laws, as they are paying for everything, but when they discover there isn't much that's appropriate for kids, they might be up for that.

[BiggJawn]

20. Get them to spring for the Hoover Dam tour.

The "Hardhat" edition.
It totally RAWKS!

[ChickMagic]

17. Here's a site for you

www.cheapovegas.com

It will tell you everything about what to do in Vegas. And it's a pretty amusing read as well.

[Lerkfish]

18. as a former Las Vegas citizen...my list...

I lived there for a couple of years..

since you have a ten year old, take them to Red Rock Canyon, about 10 miles out of town. Let him know that's where they filmed the sand people sequence with R2D2, Luke and C3PO, where they meet Obi wan Kenobe for the first time....really cool rock formations with actual indian carvings.

If its still there (haven't been since 1985), there was an excellent authentic Mexican restaurant off the main strip called El Chapalas. The best mexican food I've ever had.

You're a short drive from Hoover Dam, and Lake Mead.

Remember to CARRY WITH YOU plenty of water bottles at all times...very easy to get dehydrated FAST if you're not used to the desert. If you like to jog every morning, don't. A lot of tourists collapse trying to run as much as they do back home in essentially 0% humidity that leaches out their moisture at an alarming but unnoticeable rate. If you insist, take water and cut your normal distance in half.

be VERY CAREFUL as a pedestrian in intersections on the strip or downtown. Bars never close and people don't think they have to obey traffic laws...a lot of drivers barrel through red lights. always wait a beat before moving on green.

Be an explorer and drive AWAY from downtown and the strip into the surrounding city. There's a lot of things the locals do that most tourists never see.

If you DO gamble, always remember to start with a stake, and once you double it, put your original stake in your pocket. If you lose it, walk away. Tip your dealers regularly, and follow this rule: when winning, increase your bet. When losing, decrease your bet and build back up. The reason most people lose so much money is when they increase when theyre losing, hoping to make up lost ground. That's a deadly cycle.

If you're smart, you can get a lot of free drinks and comped meals. Go to a bar, and play keno, tip your keno person with every card. after about 5-7 cards, ask if they have any meal comps. Since keno people rarely get tipped, they'll usually give you some.

Las Vegas survives on tips. Therefore, OVERTIP. If you do, you'll be treated like royalty and a lot of good things will come your way. Be friendly to all wait staff and service industry. In return, you'll have a lovely time. If you encounter a greeter, anywhere, tip big. For example, you've gone to see a headliner at a big lounge. The guy who seats you is waiting to see how much you tip before seating you. If you shake hands with him/her and slip him a twenty or a fifty (or more, depending on how big the name of the entertainer is...use your judgement), you'll be moved to much better seats automatically, and he'll make sure your needs are taken care of. Trust me, this is the best advice I can give you...the small amount you shell out in overtipping in Vegas is more than overcompensated for by how your treated and comped in return.

I'm very sorry about your reason for going, though, but since it sounds like your dad wants to have a good time, HAVE A GOOD TIME!

[B Calm]

22. You're taking a train to Vegas? Never use the push buttons on

the slots. Pull the handle. Also play the slots near the entrance. These slots are more visable to more people and they are loose.

[soothsayer]

23. indoor sky diving! near the las vegas hilton

Also a shooting range where you can shoot a machine gun (expensive! bullets cost alot, and it shoots alot fast!)