http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2715People often write me lengthy, complex, completely misspelled emails informing me in graphic detail exactly how much I suck. Sometimes these messages contain explicit drawings depicting the various ways I fail to meet even basic expectations of a mentally retarded janitor, while others compare my writing style to the prose etched into Taco Bell bathroom walls. Flame emails represent the greatest benefit of working on the Internet; within seconds of expressing your thoughts or opinions on your own free website, the average Internet user will receive anywhere between 100 and 1,000 flame emails comparing him to a particularly revolting strain of bacteria living in a certain barnyard animal's anus. Most seasoned newspaper and television reporters often quit the industry for Internet reporting jobs, just to take advantage of this useful free feature. Not many people know this, but the whole reason Dan Rather retired from CBS was so he could open his own website, "DAN RATHER'S AWESOME PICS AND SHIT" which currently features a series of clips depicting him skateboarding off his deck and throwing rotten fruit at a street sign while choice selections from "A Perfect Circle" blares in the background.
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