What I'd like to change about myself: I over-react at road-rage.

[CanuckAmok]

Which, I suppose, is its own road-rage.

The scenario (and I should add that it only seems to happen in Vancouver): I'm at an intersection, signalling to turn left. The light has been green for a while, but pedestrians are still crossing parallel to me, so I can't turn. Exactly three nanoseconds after the light goes yellow, the FUCKING MORANS behind me start leaning on their horns, so they can do the patented Vancouver "last four cars to turn left on a yellow/red win" stunt.

Here's what's supposed to happen. Once the light goes yellow, it's UNLAWFUL to enter the intersection. Yellow means caution, not FLOOR YOUR FUCKING SUBURBAN SO YOU CAN BE THE LAST ONE THROUGH THE GATE. Yellow means the light is about to turn red, so slow the fuck down, not SPEED THE FUCK UP.

Basically what they are saying is "run over the fucking pedestrians or I'll be late for pilates! If I don't turn left on this light cycle, I'll never get to turn left, and I'll die of starvation right here on Robson Street!!"

So, what do I do? Usually, if I'm not going to block perpendicular traffic when they get the green, I put my car in park and get out... I go to the car immediately behind me and state politely that there's something wrong with their horn, and that they should get it looked at.

On the rare occasions that this person decides to talk shit with their window down, I'll make a grab for their keys (easy with column-mounted innition switches), and if I get them, shut the person's car off, and throw their keys into an alley or onto a roof. That usually slows Mr. Leftyleadfoot right the fuck down.

But...

This is completely irrational behaviour, and I must stop.

[tuvor]

1. Yeah, be careful.

Especially in Vancouver, where most people drive like jerks because everyone else is.

[yvr girl]

2. Stay on the island

You're scaring me.

[CanuckAmok]

5. I don't wonder...

...didn't you say you "amber-gamble"?

[yvr girl]

7. Only if I've already entered the intersection

or if I'd have to jam on the brakes to stop in time

or if I'm really in a hurry.

Seriously, I'm pretty cautious.

[wtmusic]

3. One of the most satisfying moments of my life, Juvenile Category

was when I was being tailgated on a freeway entrance ramp, REALLY fucking close, and I just *tapped* the brake pedal (enough to make the lights come on) which sent the van behind me into a fishtail skid...

Ahhh...simple pleasures are the best

[Bullwinkle925]

4. Whoa thar Pardner!

You're acting out what I think about doing. So far I haven't. Hopefully you don't get yourself hurt along the way.
Remember "Deep Breaths" - "Green Tea" - "Ohmmmmmm".

[tridim]

6. Lately I've been mouthing the phrase..

"Fuh-cue" to every rear view mirror of every car with a "W-04" sticker I see. Is that considered road rage?

[B Calm]

8. Try to Be Calm

[CanuckAmok]

10. No, that's not the problem. I remain calm.

It;s not unlike when Hannibal Lechter ate that nurse's face and his heartbeat didn't increase.

I don't get angry...if I got angry, it would be far less insane.

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Woooo, I react angrily to road rage, too

but your reaction is way stronger than mine.

We just had a freeway shooting here in Dallas, and that cooled me off a bit. Mine only really happens when someone acts like an ass on the interstate, cutting me off, or pulling in front of me then suddenly slowing down. Or the WORST of the worst: TAILGATING ME.

God, that gets my blood pressure going more than anything. Especially because I do NOT drive slowly to begin with. If I'm already going 70 or 75 in a 60, you better fucking go the hell around me.

But I can honestly say I've never gotten out. That can be pretty dangerous here.

[FuzzySlippers]

11. If you did that in the U.S.

you'd probably get shot.

[CanuckAmok]

12. I know! That's why I live here.

:P

[_TJ_]

13. Remain calm!

Just keep saying to yourself: "Gooooooosfrabaaaaaahh" :)

[peekaloo]

14. I just like to place my car in reverse and s-l-o-w-l-y back up.

It's only fun when you can see the veins bulging in THEIR sloping foreheads.