Dating advice?

[JAbuchan08]

So today I stopped by this girl's work to see if she was interested in me.
She gave me her phone number (I think - I haven't called her yet), but the whole time she looked at me like I was crazy.
Now that I've got her number and an Okay to call her I am suddenly aware of the fact that I don't know her at all and she doesn't know me - so how do I keep our first date from being super-pressurized and a let-down?

[MrScorpio]

1. There you go

You got something to talk about right there.

Just keep it light and smile ironically about it.

[JAbuchan08]

2. Any suggestions as to a good venue? n/t

n/t

[MrScorpio]

5. A very public place without a lot of background noise

Italian has always worked for me

[RagingInMiami]

3. Alcohol does wonders on first dates

[datasuspect]

4. as does hard drugs and cheap motel rooms.

YEAH!

[JimmyJazz]

14. I'm beginning to wonder about you!

:P

[RagingInMiami]

16. wonder about me?

[GardeningGal]

6. My suggestion is coffee somewhere during the day

That way if you find out there's no interest on either side, it can be made to be short and relatively painless.

[MrScorpio]

7. Coffee - Perfect idea

Save the Italian for later

[WinterStorm]

10. "Good Idea"

Pizza might be doable but they can talk more over coffee and it saves on the expenses. You don't want someone dating you because they feel like they owe you for a meal. If they are not eating they can talk more and remember everything. I wouldn't go to a bar either because drinking might cause someone to accept something that they otherwise wouldn't.

[belladonna]

12. Coffee is a wonderful idea

The guy I'm dating right now did the coffee thang for the first date and I thought it was great.... no pressure, just getting to know one another in a relaxed atmosphere.

[WinterStorm]

8. Work?

Start out by having coffee with her. Neither one of you will feel obligated to take it a step further if you find out that your not compatible. "I wish you the best of luck"

[JAbuchan08]

9. Re: Work?

Well I met her because I work at a convenience store and I didn't want to ask her out while I was working so I asked her where she worked and asked her out while she was working.

Bad idea?

[WinterStorm]

11. "?"

It's not a bad Idea the attraction is there and thats very important.

[aePrime]

13. The people who said coffee were right

Keep the first one short so you can duck out without feeling awkward if it's not working out. If, like me, you don't like coffee, go for ice cream. Movies are terrible dates because you can't talk.

Once you're on the date, ask her about herself. Try to keep her talking about herself. People like to talk about themselves, and it makes them think that you're really interested in them if you keep asking (and you probably are). It also keeps the focus off of you, which adds to your mystery a bit, which makes it more worthwhile for her to agree to a second date, since she hasn't already heard your life story.

And shower.

[shesemsmom]

15. Coffe is a great idea

how will you ever get to know her if you don't GO FOR IT!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!:thumbsup:

[the_spectator]

17. OK - here's some advice from the defeatist bachelor (myself)

It may be harsh, but it's honest -

You met her at the convenience store you work at - nothing wrong with that, depending on what SHE does for a job - I'd be interested to know.

Also, getting her "okay" to call her is nice, but if I were you I wouldn't worry necessarily about your first date. It may not happen. In fact, she may have been so shocked by your work-intrusive unannounced in-person visit that she gave you the number and an OK to call out of great fear of potential personal embarrassment in front of co-workers, and a desire to get you out of there as little noticed as possible.


Of course, all this pessimism goes by the wayside if you're seriously hot. Are you?

[JAbuchan08]

20. She is a waitress at a restaurant/bar, it was REALLY slow at the time

so I don't think I was distracting her too much from work. Still you might just be right.

I'm pretty shy when it comes to asking for numbers etc. so when I do, I tend to jump in with both feet and break all the rules of proper socializing. Then when I get a chance to reflect on what I just did I realize what a blithering idiot I was.

And yes, dammit I am seriously hot, at least I think so. In any case, if we did go out I don't think anyone would be whispering in the background about "what the hell is she doing with that UGLY guy."

[Tesibria]

18. Take it step by step

1. Plan the potential date (but not too much)

(a) I think coffee is good, but I personally think a movie is good, PROVIDED that you have coffee or a drink afterwards. Then, you can START talking about the movie ... and see where things go from there. It's always easy to start talking about something "external" -- and, inevitably, the "internal" comes into the conversation. You learn much about a person by how they respond to a movie (imho).

If you don't know ANYTHING about her, it might be hard to pick the "right" movie. I always went for multiple choice. If the guy picked out 3 - he thot about it; I had no problem picking from the 3.

(b) All that being said, coffee is a good, safe choice. (Safe. Is that what you want? :::sigh:::)

So - "plan" ... but not TOO much ... you need to

2. Call her
(a) See if she gave you a real number.
(b) See if she ANSWERS or lets her voice mail get it (be prepared for that!!)
(c) If she answers ... give her at least two options ... show you've thot about it but your open :)

[tjdee]

19. You asked her at work, that's why she looked at you crazy.

When you call, I'd acknowledge that it was kind of weird getting to this point (why pretend no one's nervous?), but that you think she's cool and want to know if she'll go to X place with you.

I like the idea of the movie so you have something to talk about, but I like the coffee idea too. Maybe seeing a band play, or something.

[SarahB]

21. Call her.

Talk to her.
Just do something.
Believe it or not, not all of us are that complicated. I wouldn't give a man my number unless I was attracted to him. I can't see any woman who would do that unless she was some complete wimp afraid to assert herself in any way which if that we're the case, she's be utterly dull as dirt and no loss to you. :D