ON EDIT: I see some mistakes in that bit I copy/pasted below, but I'm not gonna go fix them all. Just wanted everyone (especially Pythonists) to know I'm not the one who screwed it up. ;)
Man: You crawl back. You always come back when you crawl, well this time you crawled too far.
Woman: Oh, Geoff, Geoff, why do you do it, you could have destroyed the tapes, and none of us left...
Interviewer: An excerpt from Carl French's latest film. Carl, we are all a little mystified by your claim that your new film stars Marilyn Monroe...
French: It does, yes.
Interviewer: ...who died over ten years ago.
French: That's correct.
Interviewer: Are you lying?
French: No, no, it's just that she is very much in the public eye, at the moment.
Interviewer: Does she have a big part?
French: She is the star of the film.
Interviewer: And dead.
French: Well, we...we dug her up, and gave her a screen test - a mere formality, in her case - and..eh..
Interviewer: Can she still act?
French: Well, well, she..she still has this...this enourmous..eh..kind of..eh..indefineable...eh. No.
Interviewer: Was..eh..decomposition a problem?
French: We did have to put her in the fridge between takes.
Interviewer: What sort of things does she do in the film?
French: Well, we...we had her lying on beds, lying on floors, falling out off cupboards, scaring the children...
Interviewer: But surely miss Monroe was cremated.
French: Well...eh...we had to use a stand-in for some of the more visible shots.
Interviewer: Ah, another actress.
French: Dead actress. But Monroe was in shot the whole time.
Interviewer: How?
French: Oh, in..eh..in the ashtray, in the firegrate, in the vacuum cleaner...
Interviewer: So Marylin does not appear in the film?
French: Not as such.
Interviewer: Mr. French, you are one of the film worlds most arrogant queens, I mean not just homosexual or gay or anything. I mean you are a raving queen.
French: Well, yes.
Interviewer: I mean, a real screamer, a real "Whoops, get 'er, don't mind me, dear" limp-wristed caricature.
French: Is that not in order?
Interviewer: No, no that's fine, and I understand that you married the beautiful black heiress Hewena Tannoy, partly for the publicity, but mostly to cover up the fact that you prefer going out with little boys.
French: Look, really!
Interviewer: Carl, you are an efeminate little poof, a mincing gay-bar loiterer, a (vinnet?) covered walking perfume shop, an evil perverter of innocent little boys.
French: What? Really! Is this part of the interview?
Interviewer: No, no, I just wanted a few contacts.
French: Well, shouldn't we be talking about the film.
Interviewer: We have been off the air for ages, now where do you find them?
French: Look, I think we are still on the air.
Interviewer: Oh, sud the fucking air! I still just get locked up for that sort of thing.
French: What about the film?
Interviewer: Just a few addresses, please.
French: Look, we got James Dean in it, in a box.
Interviewer: I can tell you.....(fade)
Linkman: Oh, err, and Sheila has just..eh... come back now with our projector from the shop, and some bacon, too. Thank you, Sheila. So now, back to our feature film, and, uh, some things for the week-end, thank you. Now back to our feature film, set in a Boeing 787. - A.D.
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