Ask a girl returns, but better!

[chickenscratching]

Okay, I'm back , but this time with credentials. Now you not only have moi to answer all your burning questions, but a team of trusty sidekicks: bart the pekingese, estebon, harriet, neo and sal the felines and einstein the turtle. we will answer anything, nothing can offend--however if you want to address a specific member of the team remember to use their name in your post. Otherwise, one of us will be chosen at random to reply.

(i'm sorry that the pictures are all links but these are photos from my picture phone---sorry if you hate the extra effort)

&border=2,255,255,255,1,0,0,0,0&outquality=90
(harriet and estebon)

&border=2,255,255,255,1,0,0,0,0&outquality=90
(bart and I)



&border=2,255,255,255,1,0,0,0,0&outquality=90
(estebon-strttttttch)

&border=2,255,255,255,1,0,0,0,0&outquality=90
(sal and neo)


(einstein)

[StopTheMorans]

1. my urine is green and it smells horrible; do you know what's wrong with

me :shrug:

[sui generis]

2. you should pee at least once a week whether you feel you need to or not

[StopTheMorans]

4. that's no diagnosis

:grr:

[RetroLounge]

11. Maybe he saw the video

:shrug:

RL

[chickenscratching]

5. HEY!

get yer own advice thread buddy. :kick:

[chickenscratching]

3. stop it

Dear StopTheMorans,
Woof Woof. When I eat spinach, my urine gets quite quite green. So, the lesson is: LAY OFF THE SPINACH! geez :eyes:
Here's a link with some interesting spinach info: http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=00488v

Peacefully,
Bart

On edit: sorry, Bart can be a little mean sometimes. Catherine here, Some vegetables and vitamins can turn ones urine green and add a not so pleasant smell. According to this link, try drinking lots of water and see if it clears things up. It's ususally not an indicator of something dastardly wrong, but if concerned, see your doctor (although I wouldn't recommend it).
-C.

[StopTheMorans]

6. Bart, you're full of crap!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I fooled a dog :evilgrin: i had almost a 1/2 a pound of steamed asparagus last night, and then went over to my girlfriend's place. A few hours later, after I went to the bathroom, I called her in (she's a nurse) and said "my urine was green, and it smells horrible; have you been cheating on me?" Then i told her about the asparagus :evilgrin: StopTheMorans 1, Bart 0

[chickenscratching]

8. haha

:rofl:

You may have fooled the dog StopTheMorans, but you didn't fool me.
Good trick though. Hopefully she didn't pummel your ass.
Peacefully,
Estebon.

[StopTheMorans]

10. she didn't; she thought it was funny after i told her

thanks for the advice Estebon :D

[chickenscratching]

13. Hey

Anytime, and don't listen to that stupid dog anyway.
Though we are the answer crew, do the picture links work when you click on them? Someone else was having problems.

[StopTheMorans]

16. nope, they're not working for me either

sorry :shrug:

[chickenscratching]

21. are they now?

[haele]

29. Too much asparagus in your diet...

(If there is such a thing - asparagus dressed with just olive oil and kosher salt and tossed on a grill for 3 to 5 minutes can be eaten in any amounts)

Vary your veggies.

Haele

[jswordy]

7. Why does it say "the page is not available" when I click yer links?

[chickenscratching]

9. shit..

Dear jswordy,
It's most likely because I don't know how to use a computer. Despite my lack of opposable thumbs, Catherine still thinks it's necessary to make me do all the technical work. ( :mad: )
Is this happening to everyone?
-Neo

[jswordy]

12. Here is what I get...

&rand=6271718937912733667&border=2,255,255,255,1,0,0,0,0&outquality=90

...and I am CERTAIN you do indeed have thumbs! LOL

[chickenscratching]

15. hmmm

it's working for me (the link).
How can you be so certain? I'm a kitty kat. No thumbs here.

[4_Legs_Good]

19. I can't get to the links either.

which is a bummer!

david

[pres2032]

14. can you give me the secret behind a girl's thought process?

[chickenscratching]

17. mmm

Dear pres2032,
Wow, girls, I don't usually do this but you need to modify your question to something more specific. A girls mind has a dastardly devious amount of twists and turns, I don't wanna have to go there, unless I know exactly what I'm searching for.
Sincerely,
Einstein.

[pres2032]

20. hmm, ok

how's this? How do girls decide if i guy goes into their "just friends" column or "he has potential" column? and if a guy is put into the "just friends" column can he move into the other column?

[chickenscratching]

22. well

Dear pres2032-
I'm shaking my head here! You're obviously hanging around the wrong girls, but I will answer your question regardless.
Girls can be rigid sticklers when it comes to first impressions, so upon meeting any girl (or anyone) for that matter, be aware of everything!
A flake of dandruff on the shoulder, a rude comment or word can stick you right into the "just friends" column. You will automatically get placed in the "he has potential" column if you play to a girls wishes and likes.
Unfortunately, I hate it when people place other persons into columns like this! Honestly, who has been treating you like a piece of meat, pres?
I think if you are originally placed into the "just friends" column, the only way to get back to the potential column, you either have to be around this girl enough to prove your potential (in case she was appalled by first impressions), or else set up a scenario where you heroically rescue you her from disaster (she'll never know the difference and you'll be whispering under your breath "you're with a zero, get yourself a HERO" and she'll be calling in no time).
Peacefully,
bart (the dog)

[4_Legs_Good]

18. What do girls think of girls who color their hair

I used to be anti-hair color, but now I think that pretty much anything anyone does to their own body is pretty cool.

I saw this young woman this weekend who had hair colored in a smooth transition from redish to dark blonde vertically. It wasn't just a dye job growing out, it was obviously on purpose and 100% uber cool!

Anyway, what do chicks think about this.

Oh and why do all chicks feel that blonde is the way to go for hair coloring? Everyone's always lightening their hair. Why don't people dye red, bronze, brown or jet black?

david

[chickenscratching]

23. well

Dear david,
Interesting question. First, personally I'm not against hair coloring of any sort. Girls are most likely intrigued by how the color brings out certain features, etc versus the actual act of hair coloring. However, if a girl spots a dye job better than her own? Watch out and step away, because she will speak of it with such scorn, so do not be fooled.
I think girls respect hair coloration, just not cheapy shit jobs.
And the blonde thing? Jeez, I was pondering this myself the other day. I think a lot of it is what you see in the media, blonde has always been a choice of color, and I aside from that dying ones hair blonde can be an extreme statement. Chicks going from black hair to blonde are definitely going to get noticed. I don't think they're doing this to get noticed, but occasionally one does get sick of ones hair color and need an extreme change.
Also, a natural blonde is easier to achieve than a jet black or red color, even the nicest red dye job can end up looking pretty fake. So I think in many cases, you can't go wrong with blonde.
Peacefully,
Cat.

[lpbk2713]

24. When will we at DU all be rounded up and sent to Gitmo?

The suspense is killing me.

[chickenscratching]

26. hmm

Dear lpbk2713,
It's funny that you ask that. Wern't we already? At least I know I'm posting these threads via cuba.
Peacefully,
Einstein

[Huckebein the Raven]

25. Your photos aren't showing up except for the last one

Also, what do women want ?

and finally,

could you give me inside information on how to tell when a woman is flirting with you. I have some idea, but it appears I need to study up on that subject

:D

[chickenscratching]

27. oh boy

Dear Dark_Leftist,
I'm aware of the picture issue and trying to fix it as we speak.
Next, what do women want? Women ultimately want what everyone wants: a hot significant other to toddle around, job security, financial security and good looks.
At least, the last time I checked this is what everyone wanted. :shrugs:
Finally, your last question is a tough one. Ultimately, go with your first impression. However, this isn't always great. Why? Because if a woman flirts with you for example and it doesnt initiate the response they expect they could turn on you in a second. Women are pesky creatures, a million motivations are behind every action they make.
Also, if you wern't quite aware, there are many different kinds of flirting. Those being, flirting to obtain a significant other, flirting for the sake of flirting and flirting to be an asshole.
My advice to you Dark_Leftist, is to look closely at the intention behind the flirting as opposed to the validity of the flirting itself. Then, don't act based on first reactions, give it some time and the reality of the situation will come forth.
If this doesn't help, please ask anything.
peacefully,
c.

[Huckebein the Raven]

28. Thanks for the advice and forgive my second question

:)

[chickenscratching]

30. dont forgive

don't worry, no forgivness here! only answers!
:)

[chickenscratching]

31. so what's the deal

everyone has had their questions answered already?