Are You Being Servered?

[ForrestGump]

I just like the subject line.

I hope it didn't take you five tries to get in here, because I've really got nothing to say.

Whaddya mean that that's nothing new?!

But, just in case you did persist in gaining entry here, here's a poem:

Let's see
No, that's not part of the poem - don't get me wrong. I was just trying to figure out where to begin, because this is an ad-libbed, impromptu, extemporized poem, basically because I didn't know that I'd have to entertain you to even begin to redeem that long and almost fruitless wait for entry to this thread.

So here I go, now, with a poem. Unless it turns into a limerick. Or perhaps just a brief parable:

O, DU server
Rhymes with Minerva
Who's car is a swerver
But this last line doesn't rhyme

*bongoes*

Thank you....

Anyway, welcome to this thread. Kick back and stay a little while if you like - otherwise, good luck with trying to get back to the message board currently in progress.

[SOteric]

1. Hold your mouse button

down for 10 or 15 seconds instead of a rapid click.

It's not a cure-all but it does seem to connect to the mysterious database with a far higher frequency...if somewhat more slowly.

[ForrestGump]

2. Thanks!

Does it matter if I apply the pressure from directly above or should I be aiming for a force angle of 45 degrees? Maybe 48 degrees?

I'll give it a try, anyway.

[SOteric]

3. You should only attempt it

while wearing handcuffs applied by buxom women.

[ForrestGump]

4. Why you....I oughta......

Seriously, I think it high time that I defend myself against proliferating rumors that I am a rampant buxomophile to the exclusion of all other physical considerations that might be considered feminine 'charms' of one kind of another. It's just not true. Well....no, not entirely, 100% true. Not all of the time. Certainly not always.

In my defense, I present the following, as incontrovertible evidence:

[SOteric]

5. Hey!

Where'd you get my picture?!

[ForrestGump]

9. The picture? Well.....I cannot tell a lie.......

Oh, yes I can.......

[underpants]

6. I've found a different approach that seems to help

I position the cursor near the left side of whatever I am hitting

I then wait about 5 seconds

I say a little prayer and try to get a "feel" for when no one else is posting.

And then I slam the mouse in a loud and violent manner.

But I'm about to try your method.

[underpants]

7. I worked until I tried to respond to this post

They other way is a lot more fun too. Can I sue DU for carpal tunnel?

[SOteric]

8. No, but if you're like most of the dudes around here..

You can claim it on your insurance as an STD. ;-)

[ForrestGump]

10. A healthy prostate is a happy prostate.

:P

Oops, I ran out of Olive Oyl......