I've joined an ex-gay group.

[terrya]

Jerry Falwell was right. I've been living a depraved lifestyle. I want to be as godly as he is and when I pass on from this mortal coil, I want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven as a God fearing heterosexual.

Pray for me, please. So that this heterosexuality thing sticks.

Thanks
Terry

[johnnie]

1. Good!!!

Now get back in that closet and don't step on any shoe boxes.
:evilgrin:

[terrya]

3. Of course. The closet door will be sealed shut and locked.

No more of that "homosexual" stuff for me! :-)

[ret5hd]

7. remember...playing with yourself counts as homosexual.

[terrya]

8. "phew". You're right!

That was a close one!

[drumwolf]

32. that's exactly right

that's why fundies deplore masturbation every bit as much as they condemn homosexuality, and why they're so repressed. :evilgrin:

[Bronco69]

2. And a Happy April Fool's Day to you too!

:-)

[StopTheMorans]

4. do you want some tips from me on how to be slovenly and poorly-dressed?

i can also introduce you to the joys of cheap beer and ogling women :D

[terrya]

6. Yes, STM. Please. And what is this "sports" thing I've heard tell about?

I have much to learn, my friend.

[StopTheMorans]

9. well, i'm glad you asked about "sports"! sports are the most heterosexual

activity of them all! you get together with a bunch of other men, and you all sit around high-fiving and grab-assing each other in conjunction with the activities of two teams of men on television in tight-fitting clothing tackling each other, "going under center", pitching or catching, etc... It is the most heterosexual pursuit of them all.

[terrya]

11. Eeeeeeek! What kind of ungodly homoerotic stuff is that???

Those homosexuals are everywhere...spreading their vile influences!

[StopTheMorans]

12. "homoerotic"? i thought that it was very heterosexual; i guess that the

msm has been brainwashing me again. now where is that box of tinfoil when i need it?

[Deja Q]

5. Wouldn't it be more fun if we suffered together?

:evilgrin:
:hide:

[Heidi]

10. You want to be as "godly" as he is?

That leaves a large margin for error. As to entry into Heaven, instead of entering in disguise, I'd say you've got a better chance of getting in the way God made you. Don't go over to the dark side, Terrya!

[prolesunited]

13. So, there's hope for me afterall?

:hi:

[terrya]

17. Sure! Except I'm worried about that Blue-Jay guy finding out

:-)

:hi:

[LynneSin]

14. About time you get yourself saved

I mean, if men are allowed to have sex with men then next thing you know they'll be wanting to have sex with sponges and wombats (and not necessary one at a time either).

I personally thing we need laws in this country that requires no curtains or blinds or anyones bedroom window - that way we can check in there from time to time to make sure that we are only fornicating with those of the opposite sex and then only in the missionary position and only once a month IF the sole intention is to produce a child.

Looking forward to joining you in the rapture together. Maybe we can head up to heaven together. BTW, I'm a straight gal :9

[Ellen Forradalom]

16. You mean they're not already

having sex with sponges and wombats? It's not like men to wait for permission.

[LynneSin]

18. You know, I'm trying to find out what they are doing

But the damn curtains & restraining orders are getting in my way.

[terrya]

19. Lynne, I swear the box turtles were going to be next.

That's what finally convinced me.

Thanks...and until the rapture,

Terry

:-)

[Ellen Forradalom]

15. Great place to meet men

And you already know they're gay!

[ProfessorGAC]

20. I Told You That, How Many Times?

But, no you kept telling me i was wrong, and that you weren't depraved. Sheesh! You have depraved written all over your face. (No really, i used a marker when you passed out at a DU gathering. Remember?)

Happy April Fools Day!
The Professor

[terrya]

21. Oh, Professor...

Of course I shouldn't have doubted you. But then was a time of foolishness for me. Stubborness. Thinking that I was always right. That I can't listen to anyone else.

That depravity is going to be tough to get off. The sins of our youth. "sigh"

Happy April Fools Day to you, too!

Terry

[Rowdyboy]

22. Could I have the address of that guy in Canada you used to like?

Since you won't be seeing him anymore..... :sarcasm:

Here's a little help for your hetero-salvation...



Hot DAMN! If she doen't keep you straight, no one could!

[terrya]

23. Well....ok. Just take good care of him.

Sheesh, this hetero thing is harder than I thought!

[Rowdyboy]

26. Oh, baby, we'll take GOOD care of him!

Trust me on that one!

[terrya]

27. Just...spare me the details, please.

It's something I have to do. No one said it would be easy. :cry:

[Fleshdancer]

24. I am SO going to tell Gay headquarters about this!

You'll be sorry. I'll get the homosexual agenda people to do their super secret gay brainwashing techniques on you again...you know, the evil gay tactics they use on the children.

[Left Is Write]

25. It's going to be like this all day, isn't it?

[Magrittes Pipe]

28. Pray the gay away, terrya.

:hug:

[terrya]

29. I can do it, Hedges. I can do it.

But I have to tell you that this weekend is going to be HARD to stay away from temptation.

[Magrittes Pipe]

30. I'll send you a nude picture of myself. That'll turn ANYONE off of men.

Permanently.

[ldf]

31. oh, be honest, now!

you just want to recruit some of those straight boys/girls at your prayer sessions.

you just want to run your fingers through their pure and chaste assorted hairy (or shaved!) spots, and (censored - don't want to get thread locked).

:-)

well, that CAN be fun!

:evilgrin:

[flamingyouth]

33. OK, now this one made me laugh

:spray::rofl:

:hi:

[crispini]

34. You have to give back the toaster now, you know.

Turn off HGTV, and throw some beer cans around your place to start off with, too. :)

[terrya]

35. I know...

well, cest la vie. No more delicious toast in the mornings. :cry:

[AntiCoup2K4]

36. Praise Jesus for your delivery from the Sodomite Agenda!

[Ellen Forradalom]

37. Be a man, girl!

B.A.S.H. (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals), Betty Bowers' ex-gay ministry, welcomes its newest member, terrya!

http://www.bettybowers.com/bash.html