I need a little help with a work problem.

[Rainbowreflect]

I have this coworker, a nice lady, but lots of issues. I feel she is being treated unfairly at work, but I also feel like she sometimes brings some of it upon herself.
I want to be her friend & be supportive, but lately I have been finding when I spend much time with her listening to her anger & frustrations I start to feel very depressed & negative myself.
Anyone have some great ideas for helping someone without hurting your own sanity?

[demnan]

1. Tell her the truth

she might not be your best friend afterward, but tell her how she makes you feel sometimes, and that she should be aware of how her attitude affects people around her. Do it gently with love. That's the best thing you could ever do for her.

[Rainbowreflect]

2. I don't disagree with what you are suggesting, I just know I

cannot do that at this time. She honestly has no one else she can lean on. She has lost her mother & her sister in the last two years, her kids both just take & take from her and she recently had major surgery. I am not able to tell her I cannot be there for her, I would feel too guilty.

[SheilaT]

3. If she were already a close personal friend,

I'd be inclined to suggest something to help her get her focus off work.

It has long seemed to me that work all too often becomes the entire focus of people's lives. And while it does take up a significant portion of most people's time, unless you can honestly say you'd do the job for free, you need to relegate it to it's proper importance.

And you need to find some way to gently let her know that she does bring some of it upon herself. At the same time, you need to try to convey to the co-workers that they are treating her unfairly.

It's kind of hard to say much without knowing a lot of specifics. Is there anyone around you that you can sit down with and explain what's going in in detail, someone whose advice you trust to give you help here?

[_TJ_]

4. Meet her outside of work

Go for a drink or something. It's more fun to listen to complaints
when you have some alcohol in your brain I find. :)

[Rainbowreflect]

5. We have done that a number of times & it does help.

Of course drinking 5-6 nights a week brings it's own problems.