Worst rank for Major Crapper

[Bossy Monkey]

As you may have heard, also married at Windsor town hall today was Major Thomas Crapper, a man I can't help but think should have declined his last promotion. (Major Tom or Major Crapper? The guy just can't win!)

My friends and I have been having entirely too much fun lately with poor Major Crapper. Though it's a bitter disappointment to find that he never could have been Private First Class Crapper, there's still a fair array of ranks inappropriate to his last name to choose from, particularly if you throw reality in the, uh, crapper and let him jump to the other services. Here's the list if you're curious:
http://homepages.shu.ac.uk/~acsdry/ranks.htm

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. He simply MUST be granted the Lordship.

[stellanoir]

2. or be Knighted. . .

[Bossy Monkey]

4. I kinda like Viscount Crapper

though Count Crapper has a certain charm, too

[Bossy Monkey]

3. For instance, Dr Crapper would probably have some difficulty getting

patients...

[Allenberg]

5. Seaman Crapper (US Navy)

[nytemare]

6. Supreme Commander of Allied forces Crapper!

Hoooooo ahhh!

[leftofthedial]

7. corporal crapper

[DS1]

8. Senior Plumbing and Hydraulics Analyst Philmore Crapper

:-)

[tjwmason]

9. Sapper Crapper

Privates in the Royal Engineers are called Sappers - I think that it has a very sweet ring to it.