Parents, do you have a favorite child?

[skygazer]

In moments of quiet reflection, it has become clear to me that my middle child is my favorite. I feel guilty even typing those words. Don't misunderstand me - I love all my children very much but as they've grown up, I've realized that my middle daughter is the one I get along with the best and who I relate to the most.

My oldest daughter is 24 and in some ways, we get along very well. She differs greatly from me politically though and I have a really hard time understanding how she can support the shrub. We don't argue about it (anymore) but it points to a number of fundamental differences we have between us.

My son is 17 and I really barely know him. He lives with his dad and I rarely see him. I love him and he's a great kid but I'm just not as close to him as I am my middle daughter.

She is 23 and very much like me in many ways. We are really close friends as well as mother and daughter. I feel terrible in a way that I can actually say that I have a favorite child but I'm honest, with myself as well as others (though I would NEVER actually tell my kids such a thing) and I have to admit that to be the case.

How do other parents see this? Especially parents of adult children - I certainly didn't have any marked preferences when they were growing up.

[MrScorpio]

1. If your name is Sophie

Please don't post here

[trotsky]

2. No. They both drive me equally crazy. ;-)

Seriously though, I don't think you should feel guilty about it. You may not get along with two of your children as well as you do the third, but I am willing to bet you would donate a kidney or even lay down your life if ANY of your children needed it. Am I right?

[skygazer]

3. Of course I would

I also thoroughly enjoy their company, love talking to them and visiting them, have pictures of them all over my house. It's not like I don't get along with them - I do. I get along very well with all my kids. It's just that my middle daughter is the one who I get along with the best. I never realized it until recently and it struck me as sort of strange and made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. So I just wondered if other people feel that way.

[CO Liberal]

4. Yes - Both Of Them

[Debi]

5. Yes

But then again, I only have one child :)

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

9. LOL... same here. n/t

[Debi]

13. Pretty easy then, huh?

Although when I'm mad it's all his fault! :mad:

[knowbody0]

6. i have three kids

and i adopted three more. each relationship is just what it is. they are all different. three are grown, three are teens.
your post posed the question and when i tried to answer it, i came up with "who am i most comfortable with". i examined each connection and realized first of all that it is age related, then gender, but i cannot choose a favorite.

[knowbody0]

7. i have three kids

and i adopted three more. each relationship is just what it is. they are all different. three are grown, three are teens.
your post posed the question and when i tried to answer it, i came up with "who am i most comfortable with". i examined each connection and realized first of all that it is age related, then gender, but i cannot choose a favorite.

[UdoKier]

8. No. My feelings towards each of my kids are different, but equal.

I love 'em both like crazy.

[skygazer]

10. Well, I love all my kids like crazy

That's not really what I'm asking. I think I love them all equally but my one daughter is the one I feel the most akin to, the one I feel I have the most in common with and the one who I think I'd be the likliest to be closest friends with if she wasn't related to me.

I have five siblings and I love all of them very much, too. Equally, I'd say. But one of my sisters is my favorite sibling, the one I seem to have the most in common with. It's similar to that.

[amazona]

11. mom? is that you?

No use worrying about it, the kids have probably always known. When we were growing up, I can't imagine my mom acknowledging that the middle girl was the favorite, but everyone else in the family and the entire surrounding neighborhood knew. My poor sister was even a little embarrassed about it.

Some personalities just fit together better than others. No blame.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Butterflies]

12. I always had a stronger bond with one of my sons

My other son was always closer to his father. It wasn't a decision that I made (to have distance between us), but he always favored his father and chose his company over mine going back to when he was still a baby.

My experience with my second son was completely different - he adored me. For that reason I think I may have thought of him as my favorite, but I was careful to treat them the same.

My own mother very obviously favored my sister over me, and it was always painful. Even today we're not close.

[BiggJawn]

14. Yes I do. I have ONE who is my everything above all others...

And when you have only one, you have that luxury...:-)

[Modem Butterfly]

15. Our mother used to play favorites something fierce

When I was the good child, I could do no wrong and my brother could do no right, no matter how hard he tried. He was screwed. The next week, our positions would change, and he would be all good and I would be all bad. She never seemed to feel neutral toward the both of us. We grew up with a very toxic sibling rivalry, compounded by the fact that he's an utter shit of a human being (and I say that objectively, not as a jealous sister, he's really pulled a lot of low down shit on other people, and now he's a Bible-banging fundie). I don't know how things would have been different growing up if our mother didn't see-saw so much between us, but I know my own self-esteem would be higher if she hadn't.